PREVIOUSLY ON...
SUSAN HAD A SECRET.
HAVE YOU TOLD THE GIRLS YOU'RE MOVING?
NOT YET.
I GOT AN OFFER ON YOUR HOUSE.
CARLOS AND GABY GOT COMPETITIVE.
(kisses) I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.
WHOA. WHOA, WHOA. I CAN'T TAKE THE GIRLS TO SCHOOL.
YOU ALWAYS TAKE THEM.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK EARLY TODAY.
WELL, I'M AT WORK RIGHT NOW.
RENEE MADE HER WEDDING PLANS.
THAT'S THE CAKE I MADE FOR A WEDDING A FEW YEARS AGO.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY. IT'S TOO-- IT'S NOT BIG ENOUGH.
WELL, I SUPPOSE WE COULD ADD ANOTHER TIER. MAKE IT TWO?
BREE ENDED HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER LAWYER.
YOU LIED TO ME. TO WIN THIS CASE.
YOU'RE JUST PRETENDING THERE'S SOMETHING BETWEEN US
SO YOU COULD GET INFORMATION FROM ME.
I WASN'T TRYING TO--
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOME.
AND TOM AND LYNETTE FINALLY GOT BACK TOGETHER.
(Mary Alice) THIS IS HOW IT STARTED.
THE WOMAN WHO HAD LIVED ON THE STREET FOR YEARS
CAME OUTSIDE...
AND INTRODUCED HERSELF
TO THE WOMAN WHO WAS MOVING IN NEXT DOOR.
WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD!
I'M MARTHA HUBER.
MARY ALICE YOUNG.
SO... YOU GOT A HUSBAND? MINE'S DEAD.
OH, I'M SORRY.
ME, TOO... IN THEORY.
OH. (chuckles) I HAVE A HUSBAND AND A SON.
THEY'RE IN THE OTHER VAN. THEY'LL BE HERE SOON.
OOH! I USED TO HAVE A CHAIR JUST LIKE THAT.
KEPT BREAKING, SO I THREW IT AWAY.
I HATE CHEAP FURNITURE.
YES, WELL, UH,
I SHOULD GO HELP THE MOVERS. NICE TO MEET YOU.
WAIT! I HARDLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN MENTION WHERE YOU FOLKS ARE FROM.
UP NORTH.
"UP NORTH"? THAT DOESN'T TELL ME ANYTHING. WHERE EXACTLY?
SMALL TOWN. YOU WOULDN'T KNOW IT.
TRY ME.
WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT?
WHY DON'T YOU WANNA TELL ME?
WELL, IT'S NO BIG DEAL. IT'S JUST...
AND JUST LIKE THAT,
MARTHA HUBER FIGURED OUT I WAS HIDING SOMETHING.
OHH, YOU'RE BUSY.
WE'LL JUST HAVE A LONG CHAT ONCE YOU'VE SETTLED IN. OKAY?
AND MY NEW NEIGHBOR MADE IT HER MISSION TO FIND OUT
WHAT MY SECRET WAS.
AND THIS WAS THE BEGINNING...
OF THE END.
***
(gunshot)
IT WAS JUST AFTER BREAKFAST
WHEN SUSAN DELFINO TOLD HER FRIENDS
SHE'D SOON BE MOVING FROM WISTERIA LANE.
THEY WERE SHOCKED
THEIR OLD FRIEND WAS ACTUALLY LEAVING--
SO SHOCKED IT TOOK THEM A MOMENT
TO NOTICE ANOTHER OLD FRIEND HAD RETURNED.
OH, MY GOD.
HELLO, LADIES.
DID YOU MISS ME?
SO THREE MONTHS AFTER WE GOT TO PARIS,
ROBIN AND I BROKE UP.
OH, I'M SORRY.
YEAH, A LONG DISTANCE MOVE CAN BE TOUGH ON A RELATIONSHIP.
THAT, AND I DECIDED I JUST WASN'T INTO WOMEN ANYMORE.
ALTHOUGH IN PARIS, IT'S HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE.
THE WOMEN DON'T SHAVE, AND THE MEN CARRY PURSES.
(all laugh)
SO... WHAT TEAM ARE YOU PLAYING FOR NOW?
AH, I'M OUT OF THE GAME.
I DECIDED TO CHANNEL MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
INTO STARTING MY OWN BUSINESS--
A LINE OF FROZEN FRENCH PASTRIES.
BREE, YOU REMEMBER HOW MY CROISSANTS
WERE ALWAYS THE BEST ON THE LANE.
I REMEMBER YOU THINKING THAT.
(chuckles)
SO, BASICALLY,
YOU SELL MICROWAVABLE FRENCH FOOD... TO THE FRENCH?
YEP.
AS THEY GOT LAZIER AND FATTER, I GOT THINNER AND RICHER,
NOW MY ACCOUNTANT HAS ME BUYING CHATEAUS
JUST TO DO SOMETHING WITH ALL MY MONEY.
(laughs)
SO OTHER THAN WANTING TO RUB YOUR SUCCESS IN OUR FACES,
WHAT BRINGS YOU BACK?
I HAVE A LITTLE BUSINESS PROPOSITION...
FOR LYNETTE.
TIGHTER.
(scoffs) IF I GO ANY TIGHTER, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE.
JEAN, YOU'RE TALKING TO A WOMAN WHO GAVE HERSELF SALMONELLA
TO LOSE 10 POUNDS BEFORE PROM.
BEAUTY IS SUFFERING. NOW TIGHTER!
HEY. (gasps)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU CAN'T SEE ME BEFORE THE WEDDING. IT'S BAD LUCK.
UH, SO I, UH, PICKED UP THE PROGRAMS FROM THE PRINTER.
(gasps)
OH, MY GOD.
DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?
THIS IS IVORY. I TOLD YOU TO GET BEIGE.
ARE YOU COLOR-BLIND?
YOU DO KNOW I'M BLACK, RIGHT?
HONEY, I-I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE, UH,
YOU SEEM A LITTLE...
BITCHY?
NO, I WAS GONNA SAY, UH, LESS ANGELIC THAN USUAL.
I AM BUSTING MY ASS TO PLAN THE HAPPIEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE.
SO LET'S DITCH THE SARCASM, SHALL WE?
YOU KNOW WHAT? IT IS BAD LUCK
FOR THE GROOM TO SEE THE BRIDE BEFORE THE WEDDING,
AND I JUST REALIZED WHY.
(door closes)
JEAN, I TOLD YOU TIGHTER. I DON'T CARE IF I CAN BREATHE.
(under breath) AT THIS POINT, NEITHER DO I.
WHAT WAS GOING ON OUT THERE?
KATHERINE CAME BACK FOR A VISIT.
AND BEFORE YOU GET TOO EXCITED, NO, SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ANYMORE.
REALLY? DAMN.
HEY, WHILE YOU WERE OUT DISHING WITH YOUR FRIENDS,
OUR GARDENER QUIT.
HE WOULDN'T NAME NAMES,
BUT APPARENTLY ONE OF US IS A LITTLE TOO HARD TO PLEASE.
(crunches) YEAH, YOU SHOULD WORK ON THAT.
SO YOU GONNA GET A NEW ONE?
WHEN? (crunches)
I HAVE A JOB, TOO, YOU KNOW.
CARLOS, YOU HELP THE POOR AND DOWNTRODDEN--
A GROUP WITH A VERY FLEXIBLE SCHEDULE.
(cell phone rings) I'M WORKING CRAZY HOURS.
HOUSE STUFF IS UP TO YOU NOW. (ring)
MM! IT'S MY BOSS. (ring and beep)
HELLO, MR. HOFFMAN.
REALLY? ME?
Y-YES, I'M VERY INTERESTED.
THANK YOU.
I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU THEN, SIR.
(beep)
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
I JUST GOT A HUGE PROMOTION.
I'M THE NEW HEAD OF V.I.P. SALES.
SERIOUSLY?
BABE, THAT'S AMAZING.
MM.
WHAT'S... WRONG?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S SO BIG. IT'S A WHOLE DEPARTMENT.
THEY'RE REALLY TRUSTING ME. WHAT IF I CAN'T DO IT?
GABY, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW SMART AND TALENTED YOU ARE?
YOU DESERVE THIS.
(sighs) YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT. (chuckles)
I JUST GOTTA LEARN HOW TO BE THE BOSS. (chuckles)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO TALK TO EMPLOYEES.
YEAH, I THINK OUR GARDENER WOULD AGREE.
OH, PLEASE. (chuckles) THAT SAD SACK WAS A MORON.
SO HOW YOU BEEN FEELING?
I'VE BEEN CRAVING CHOCOLATE CONSTANTLY.
BUT THAT'S OKAY, RIGHT?
WITHIN MODERATION, BUT I'M NOT WORRIED.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
MM, THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, JULIE IS GETTING HER PhD,
SO SOON SHE'LL BE A DOCTOR, TOO.
MAYBE YOU TWO SHOULD HAVE LUNCH SOMETIME AND TALK SHOP.
(pager beeps)
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE NICE.
UH, I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO TAKE THIS. UH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
(door opens)
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
(door closes) HE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU.
HE IS MY OBSTETRICIAN.
WELL, HE KNOWS YOU'RE FERTILE. MEN LIKE THAT.
ENOUGH. I DON'T NEED YOU TO FIX ME UP.
I'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE LONELY.
WELL, GOOD NEWS.
IN THREE WEEKS, I WILL HAVE A PERMANENT HOUSEGUEST.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER KIND OF LONELY.
EVEN SINGLE MOTHERS HAVE NEEDS.
CHILDBIRTH CAN'T POSSIBLY BE AS PAINFUL AS THIS CONVERSATION.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT'S GONNA BE.
HAVING A KID IS EXHAUSTING.
YOU HAVE NO TIME TO EXERCISE OR EAT RIGHT.
THE GREAT NEWS IS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET YOURSELF GO.
I'LL BE THERE, HELPING WITH THE BABY.
SO YOU'LL HAVE TIME TO GO TO THE GYM.
I'LL LET MYSELF GO. I DON'T MIND.
MOM, I JUST FELT THE BABY
TAP OUT "MAKE HER STOP" IN MORSE CODE.
IT'S HARD TO FIND A MAN WHEN YOU'RE A SINGLE MOM.
THAT'S MY POINT. I'M DONE.
AS I REMEMBER, YOU FOUND MIKE.
YES. WELL...
I WAS VERY LUCKY.
YOU SURE WERE.
(sighs)
THERE YOU GO. (groans)
OH, BEAUTIFUL DAY, ISN'T IT?
ONE OF THE NICE THINGS ABOUT DYING IS
EVERY DAY SEEMS BEAUTIFUL.
YOU ALWAYS WINCE WHEN I SAY THINGS LIKE THAT.
I DON'T MEAN TO. ITS JUST... HARD FOR ME.
FOR YOU? HEY, YOU WANNA SWITCH PLACES WITH HER?
BE NICE, ROY.
BY THE WAY, KAREN, I GOT THAT SONG YOU WANTED
FOR YOUR... FUNERAL.
OH, THANK YOU, BREE.
JOHNNY MATHIS.
MY GIRLFRIENDS AND I TAUGHT EACH OTHER TO DANCE
LISTENING TO "WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL!"
AW. OH, I WAS ONLY ABLE TO GET IT ON A CD.
NO, NO.
IT'S GOTTA BE ON A 45 THAT I CAN PLAY ON A RECORD PLAYER,
JUST LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS A KID.
BY THE WAY, I'LL ALSO NEED THE RECORD PLAYER.
YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY HARD TO FIND THOSE 45s.
BUT I'M GONNA KEEP LOOKING.
(cell phone rings)
(beep)
HELLO?
OH. HELLO, TRIP.
I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
PLEASE, STOP CALLING.
(beep)
IS THAT YOUR LAWYER FRIEND?
WELL, YOU'RE HALF RIGHT.
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED HIM.
I DID, MORE THAN I'VE LIKED ANYBODY IN A VERY LONG TIME.
BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT HE JUST MANIPULATES PEOPLE
SO THAT HE CAN GET WHAT HE WANTS.
CAN'T TRUST HIM.
ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO, I WILL CHECK IN ON YOU LATER.
ROY, BE A PEACH AND LOOK UP A PHONE NUMBER FOR ME.
KAREN, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
I DON'T KNOW.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO SCREW WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES
ONE LAST TIME BEFORE I CHECK OUT.
(chuckles)
(laughs)
WOW. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE DOING PRETTY GOOD.
I MEAN, YOUR OWN COMPANY?
YEAH, I DIDN'T WANT TO BRAG IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS,
BUT IT'S WORTH A FEW BUCKS.
THAT WAS YOU NOT BRAGGING?
WELL, JUST LOOK AT OUR LAST FINANCIAL STATEMENT.
(gasps) HA! I LOVE DOING THAT!
OH! (laughs) HAVE A SEAT.
IN FACT, WE ARE DOING SO WELL
THAT WE ARE LOOKING TO EXPAND WORLDWIDE,
AND I WOULD LIKE YOU TO HEAD OUR U.S. DIVISION
IN NEW YORK.
OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S A HUGE JOB.
WHY ME?
BECAUSE YOU'RE THE SMARTEST BUSINESSWOMAN I KNOW.
AND WHEN I HEARD THAT YOU AND TOM SPLIT,
I THOUGHT, THERE'S NOTHING TYING YOU TO FAIRVIEW.
WELL, HERE'S THE THING--
20 MINUTES UNTIL MY JOB INTERVIEW,
AND I LOSE A BUTTON. CAN YOU-- KATHERINE?
THAT'S THE THING.
WHAT BRINGS YOU BACK TO THE STATES?
YOUR WIFE, ACTUALLY.
I CAME TO OFFER HER A JOB IN NEW YORK.
WOW.
BUT OBVIOUSLY, I'M NOT TAKING IT.
(chuckles) (chuckles)
WE JUST GOT BACK TOGETHER, AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
MMM. SORRY, KATHERINE.
I KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS TO LOSE LYNETTE,
AND HOW SWEET IT IS TO GET HER BACK.
(chuckles)
HERE, LEAVE THE SHIRT WITH ME, BABE. I GOT IT.
THANKS.
WELL...
I'M IN TOWN FOR THREE DAYS
IF YOU WANNA KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS.
NO. I FEEL PRETTY COMFORTABLE WITH MY DECISION.
OKAY, BUT THE LYNETTE THAT I KNEW
WAS NEVER HAPPY WITH A LIFE OF... SEWING BUTTONS.
(door closes)
HEY, HEY! SORRY I'M LATE.
I'M STARVING! WHAT ARE WE HAVING?
I HAD A LOVELY STEAK.
THEN AN HOUR LATER, I HAD YOUR LOVELY STEAK.
SO I GUESS YOU'RE HAVING... CEREAL.
OH, COME ON. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
FIRST DAY OF A NEW JOB-- IT WAS CRAZY.
AND WHAT? (sighs) YOU LOST YOUR PHONE?
(sighs) I KNOW, I KNOW. I'M A TERRIBLE, AWFUL PERSON.
BUT MAYBE YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO FORGIVE ME
AFTER YOU SEE THIS.
WHOA. (laughs)
I KNOW. I SAW IT, AND ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT
WAS HOW SEXY IT WOULD LOOK ON THAT BIG, STRONG WRIST OF YOURS.
(both chuckle)
WELL, I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN ANYTH--
OH, MY GOD. WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT?
I KNOW THIS MOVE. I INVENTED THIS MOVE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
IT'S WHAT I USED TO DO TO YOU.
I'D BUY YOU JEWELRY
TO COMPENSATE FOR BEING A LOUSY HUSBAND.
AND IT WORKED BEAUTIFULLY, SO SHUT UP AND ENJOY IT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TRYING TO BUY ME OFF WITH A WATCH.
(gasps) OOH! WHEN YOU SHAKE YOUR WRIST LIKE THAT,
THE DIAMONDS REALLY CATCH THE LIGHT.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE EVEN QUOTING ME!
(scoffs) YOU DON'T WANT THE WATCH? FINE.
BUT EVERYONE HAS A PRICE. YOU NAME IT.
SEX? MASSAGE? THREE STOOGES MARATHON?
THE PRICE OF MY FORGIVENESS
IS YOU PAYING A LITTLE MORE ATTENTION TO ME,
BEING MORE PRESENT,
MORE RESPECTFUL OF MY FEELINGS AND NEEDS.
YOU WANT A NEW CAR.
I'M GOING TO BED.
WHAT? NO, COME BACK! YOU'RE SEXY WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY.
YEP! THAT'S MINE, TOO!
LYNETTE SCAVO?
OH, MY GOD!
HOW LONG AS IT BEEN?
OH! A LONG TIME.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, NATALIE?
I'M GREAT.
THE QUESTION IS, HOW ARE YOU? I HEARD ABOUT YOU AND TOM.
OH. YEAH, WE WENT THROUGH A ROUGH PATCH,
BUT WE'RE BACK TOGETHER NOW, AND THINGS ARE BETTER THAN EVER.
(chuckles)
WHAT A RELIEF. I JUST KEPT THINKING, "POOR LYNETTE--
"SACRIFICED HER WHOLE CAREER FOR THAT MAN,
AND THEN IT DIDN'T EVEN WORK OUT?"
OH, JUST TO BE CLEAR, I DIDN'T SACRIFICE MY CAREER FOR ANYONE.
OH, I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT.
IF ANYTHING, I'M JEALOUS OF YOU.
OH?
MY COMPANY HAS BRANCHES IN 15 CITIES AROUND THE WORLD.
I LIVE OUT OF A SUITCASE. AND YOU?
THERE MUST BE DAYS WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN LEAVE THE HOUSE.
OH, THE SIMPLE LIFE.
I GOT A JOB OFFER YESTERDAY.
REALLY?
YEAH, THIS BIG EUROPEAN FOOD COMPANY IS
TAKING ITS BRAND TO THE STATES, AND THEY WANT ME TO RUN IT.
SO...
IMPRESSIVE. WHEN DO YOU START?
WELL, IT'S IN NEW YORK, SO IT'S A LOT TO CONSIDER, AND...
AND THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND YOU.
I'D GRAB AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THAT IN A SECOND,
BUT NOT YOU.
(chuckles)
IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS, YOU'RE A WIFE AND A MOMMY.
CONGRATS.
SEE YA.
(dials)
KATHERINE, IT'S LYNETTE.
CALL ME BACK. WE HAVE TO TALK.
(beep)
HEY, GOTTA RUN. HUGE DAY.
THE E-MAILS HAVE BEEN COMING IN SINCE 7:00.
JUST SO YOU KNOW, OUR NEW GARDENER STARTED TODAY.
GREAT. MIND RUNNING DEFENSE FOR ME?
I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO CHITCHAT WITH THE HELP.
IT'LL BE MY PLEASURE.
OH. HOLA.
I'M CARMEN.
UH-HUH.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
THAT'S OUR NEW GARDENER.
SHE'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING AROUND HERE
THAT'S BEEN NEGLECTED.
OH, YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?
JUST MAKING A POINT.
YOU CROSSED A LINE, CARLOS.
YOU CROSSED A LINE!
GABY, COME ON!
(car door closes, engine starts)
GABY! (tires peal)
(sighs) WATCH THE DIRT. AND WATCH THE GRASS.
FOCUS, LADIES!
THIS DRESS COSTS MORE THAN YOUR HOUSES PUT TOGETHER!
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, RENEE?
I KNOW THIS IS YOUR DAY, BUT IT'S ONLY 10:00,
AND YOU'RE ALREADY A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS.
WELL, THEN I'M RUNNING LATE.
I SHOULD'VE BEEN A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS BY 9:00.
YOU IN THE STUPID HAT,
OPEN THE DOOR!
(chuckles) OH, WOW!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING ALL DOLLED UP?
RENEE'S WEDDING. I JUST WANTED TO CHECK ON KAREN BEFORE I LEFT.
SHE'S SLEEPING.
I DON'T THINK IT'LL BE LONG NOW.
OH, ROY. I AM... SO SORRY.
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO STAY?
NO.
THIS IS OUR TIME TOGETHER.
WE'LL BE FINE.
OH, GOOD! YOU FOUND KAREN'S RECORD.
NOT ME. THAT LAWYER GUY.
TRIP?
KAREN TOLD HIM SHE REALLY WANTED IT.
THE SON OF A GUN MUST'VE GONE TO 20 DIFFERENT RECORD STORES.
(sighs) WELL, THAT'S LOVELY.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE SMILE ON HER FACE WHEN HE BROUGHT IT IN.
MM.
HE'S... A GOOD GUY.
(inhales sharply)
DO YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO STRETCH OUT ON HER?
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? CREASE?
(cell phone rings and beeps)
(scoffs) HELLO, BEN.
HEY, HEY, HEY. DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME.
WELL, HAIR AND MAKEUP TOOK FOREVER,
AND THEN WE HAD TO WAIT 20 MINUTES FOR SUSAN, AND--
I WAS TOTALLY ON TIME.
(lowered voice) HE DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT.
(normal voice) YEAH, WE'RE ON OUR WAY NOW.
I PROMISE WE'LL BE THERE NO LATER THAN...
OH! WE'RE GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL! (beep)
HOW LATE ARE WE?
I SHOULD'VE BEEN CUTTING THE CAKE BY NOW!
OKAY, NOT A GOOD DAY TO HAND HER A KNIFE.
MM.
(exhales deeply)
JULIE, ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, MY GOD. WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG?
(exhales sharply) I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE.
(all gasp)
(women scream)
(groans) OH! AH!
AAH! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
SHE'S IN LABOR!
OH! NINE MONTHS!
YOU HAD NINE MONTHS, AND THIS IS THE MOMENT YOU PICK?!
RENEE, I AM SO SORRY. AAH! AAH!
HOLD ON. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.
HOW?! MY DRESS IS RUINED!
(Julie and Susan breathing deeply) WAIT, I GOT AN IDEA.
HEY, DRIVER, WE NEED YOU TO SWING BY CUMBERLY'S.
MY STORE HAS AN AMAZING BRIDAL DEPARTMENT.
ARE YOU INSANE?! TAKE US TO THE HOSPITAL!
OH, COME ON. SHE JUST STARTED LABOR. (groans)
KEEP YOUR LEGS TOGETHER, HONEY.
LOOK, WE'RE JUST GONNA RUN IN AND GRAB A DRESS.
(scoffs) AND SHOES.
YOU NEED SHOES, TOO?
THANKS TO OLD FAITHFUL HERE.
MY DAUGHTER IS HAVING A BABY,
AND YOU WANNA GO ON A SHOPPING SPREE?!
UH, COULD SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHERE TO GO?
CUMBERLY'S! HOSPITAL!
(breathing deeply) LET'S JUST GO TO CUMBERLY'S.
JULIE! MOM, MY CONTRACTIONS JUST STARTED.
WE HAVE TIME. AAH!
OHH! DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP DOING THAT?
(brakes screech)
OKAY, SIZE 6s ARE OVER THERE.
HEY! OH, DON'T LIE TO ME!
(scoffs) NO.
NO.
GOD, NO.
(gasps)
NOW THAT IS BEAUTIFUL.
MY DAUGHTER'S LOOKING AT THIS.
WHEN'S HER WEDDING? THREE MONTHS.
MINE'S IN FIVE MINUTES.
UNZIP ME.
(zip)
OH! HI. HI. (chuckles)
I'M, UH, GABRIELLE SOLIS,
HEAD OF V.I.P. SALES HERE AT CUMBERLY'S.
I'M KENT, MINIMUM WAGE WORKER STUCK HERE ON A SATURDAY.
CAN I HELP YOU?
UH, I NEED TO BORROW A BRIDAL GOWN.
BORROW? JUST FOR THE AFTERNOON.
WE DON'T LEND BRIDAL DRESSES.
WELL... (chuckles) I KNOW IT'S NOT POLICY,
BUT CAN'T YOU DO A FAVOR FOR A FELLOW WORKER?
MA'AM, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF YOU.
DO YOU HAVE YOUR EMPLOYEE I.D. CARD?
NO. I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE NERDS
WHO CARRIES HER I.D. CARD ON A...
HANDSOME LANYARD. (chuckles)
SO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU A $6,000 WEDDING DRESS?
$5,000 WITH MY EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT. (chuckles)
GO AWAY, MA'AM.
OW! OHH! OH, THAT WAS A BIG ONE!
OH! THEY SEEM TO BE COMING A LOT FASTER.
OH. (sighs)
EXCUSE ME, WOULD YOU MIND GOING IN
AND FINDING OUT WHAT'S KEEPING THEM?
THINGS SEEM TO BE SPEEDING UP A BIT BACK HERE.
RIGHT AWAY.
(exhales sharply) MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU ARE NOT HAVING MY GRANDDAUGHTER
IN THE BACK OF A LIMOUSINE!
(grunts)
OOH!
(exhales deeply) KEEP BREATHING!
(starts engine)
(tires peal)
(speaking inaudibly)
OH. AHH. SO WE SET?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. TOLD YOU I WAS A BIG SHOT HERE. (chuckles)
NOW WALK WITH ME.
UM, THERE'S ONLY ONE TINY HICCUP.
(Kent) HEY, WHERE YOU GOING WITH THAT DRESS?!
AND NOW WE RUN. (gasps)
(both panting)
WHERE--WHERE'S THE LIMO?
I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS RIGHT HERE. (alarm blaring)
AND WE'RE RUNNING AGAIN!
AAH!
(both panting)
DO YOU... NOT HAVE A CAR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE HAVE A CAR, HUH?
DOES IT?! AAH!
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, AGAIN, LATE FOR YOUR OWN WEDDING.
(grunts) MAYBE KILL THIS GUY LATER.
(breathing heavily)
DON'T SAY A WORD. YOU HEAR ME?!
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET HERE,
SO IF YOU EVEN GIVE ME ONE SYLLABLE OF GRIEF,
I WILL KICK YOUR SORRY ASS ALL THE WAY BACK TO AUSTRALIA!
(breathing heavily)
I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.
(sobbing)
(Renee laughs)
(chuckles)
LET'S GO INSIDE AND GET STARTED ON OUR WEDDED BLISS, EH?
(jazz playing, indistinct conversations)
NO, NO, KATHERINE, I AM EXCITED.
I JUST NEED TO TALK TO TOM FIRST.
WELL, CAN YOU GIVE ME TILL THE END OF THE DAY?
OKAY, THANKS. BYE.
TALK TO ME ABOUT WHAT? (chuckles)
HI! HI. MMM.
OH, UM, KATHERINE KEEPS PUSHING ME ABOUT THIS JOB THING.
I THOUGHT YOU TOLD HER "NO."
I DID,
BUT ONCE SHE STARTED TALKING ABOUT COMPENSATION PACKAGES
AND... (chuckles)
YOU'RE NEGOTIATING A SALARY?
LYNETTE, WE... (sighs)
WE JUST GOT BACK TOGETHER. WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IT COULD BE THE LAST TIME
AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS COMES ALONG FOR ME.
IF I DON'T TAKE IT, I'M--I'M AFRAID THAT...
YOU WON'T BE HAPPY.
WELL...
YEAH.
HEY.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
LYNETTE...
I WOULD DO ANYTHING,
I WOULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD
IF I BELIEVED IT WOULD FINALLY MAKE YOU HAPPY.
BUT FOR AS LONG AS I HAVE KNOWN YOU,
YOU'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT
YOU NEEDED SOMETHING ELSE TO MAKE YOU COMPLETE.
AND I'M STARTING TO REALIZE
NOTHING EVER WILL.
(indistinct conversations and laughter)
(piano playing light jazz)
HELLO, TRIP.
BEN INVITED ME,
SO IF YOU WANNA SLUG SOMEBODY, SLUG HIM.
(chuckles) NO. I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU.
I WANTED TO, UH, THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID FOR MRS. McCLUSKEY.
THAT WAS VERY KIND.
SHE'S AN AWESOME LADY,
AND SHE ONCE HELPED OUT A CLIENT OF MINE.
WELL, THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY.
ENJOY THE RECEPTION.
REALLY, YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY TO ME?
LIKE WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW. LIKE, UM...
HOW ABOUT, "HEY, TRIP, MAYBE YOU ARE A GOOD GUY.
I SHOULD GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE"?
IS THAT WHY YOU FOUND THAT OLD RECORD? (chuckles)
TO IMPRESS ME?
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT?
LOOK...
I KNOW I WANNA BE WITH YOU.
BUT IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN EVER TRUST ME AGAIN...
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA BEG.
WHY?
YES. WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME?
YOU WERE MY LAWYER.
YOU KNOW ALL THE UGLIEST DETAILS OF MY LIFE--
MY LYING, MY DRINKING, MY PROMISCUITY.
I WAS ACTUALLY RELIEVED WHEN YOU PUT GABY ON THE WITNESS STAND
BECAUSE IT EXPLAINED WHY YOU KISSED ME.
IT WAS A MANIPULATION. I GOT IT.
BUT TO KEEP SAYING YOU WANT ME WHEN YOU KNOW HOW...
(whispers) HORRIBLY FLAWED I AM.
I DON'T TRUST YOU BECAUSE IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
HOW ABOUT...
I EXPLAIN IT?
MMM.
DID THAT CLEAR IT UP FOR YOU?
ALMOST.
LOOK, BREE... (sighs)
ALL THOSE UGLY DETAILS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, I...
THEY JUST PROVE THAT YOU'RE HUMAN.
I DON'T WANT TO LOVE AN IDEAL.
I WANNA--I WANNA LOVE A REAL PERSON.
(whispers) SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
WELL...
FIRST, WE'RE GONNA WALK OUT ONTO THAT DANCE FLOOR
AND SHOW YOUR FRIENDS HOW IT'S REALLY DONE.
HOPEFULLY BY THEN, I'LL GET UP THE COURAGE
TO ONCE AGAIN ASK YOU TO GO OUT ON A DATE ME.
OF COURSE, EVEN AS I'M SAYING THAT,
I'M STILL NOT SURE WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY.
DID THAT CLEAR IT UP FOR YOU?
(tango music playing)
HEY, YOU WANNA DANCE? THEY'RE PLAYING A TANGO.
WOW. YOU'RE FINALLY TALKING TO ME AGAIN.
I MUST BE OUT OF THE DOGHOUSE.
NO, I'M STILL PRETTY MAD.
WHY? IT WAS A JOKE.
ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, WHEN...
I DID WHAT I DID WITH JOHN ROWLAND?
THAT IS THE MOST SHAMEFUL THING IN MY LIFE.
YOU CAN'T MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT. IT'S TOO PAINFUL.
FAIR ENOUGH.
YOU KNOW...
IT WAS THE MOST SHAMEFUL THING IN MY LIFE, TOO.
I'M SORRY.
NO.
WHAT'S SHAMEFUL IS THAT I NEGLECTED YOU.
I HAD THIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE,
BUT I FOCUSED ON ALL THE WRONG THINGS.
IT WAS A TOUGH TIME FOR BOTH OF US.
I GUESS THAT'S THE POINT I WAS MAKING HIRING CARMEN.
OUR ROLES ARE REVERSED NOW,
BUT WE CAN'T START DRIFTING AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.
I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT AGAIN.
WE WON'T.
WE'VE GROWN UP SINCE THEN.
(chuckles)
ALTHOUGH, FOR TWO SMART GROWNUPS,
WE SURE SEEM TO FIGHT A LOT.
(chuckles)
WHY IS IT OTHER COUPLES SEEM TO WALTZ THROUGH LIFE?
THAT'S EASY.
YOU AND ME?
WE'RE DOING A TANGO.
(kisses)
(exhales sharply) (knocks on doorframe)
HEY. I HEAR SOMEONE'S HAVING A BABY.
OH, YES, A LITTLE AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. SORRY.
NO, IT'S NO PROBLEM. I WAS JUST PLAYING HOOPS DOWN THE BLOCK.
DON'T WORRY. I'M GONNA WASH UP,
AND THEN WE'LL GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. OKAY?
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
DID YOU SEE HIS LEGS?
HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED TO THOSE LEGS?
(groans) OH, MOM, PLEASE.
RIGHT. I'M ANNOYING. SORRY.
YOU KNOW, IN HONOR OF THIS SPECIAL DAY,
I PROMISE TO NEVER AGAIN BUG YOU ABOUT FINDING A HUSBAND.
OH. OHH. (inhales sharply)
EVEN THE BABY KNOWS YOU'RE LYING.
(chuckles)
OHH. (sighs)
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER GET MARRIED AGAIN?
JULIE...
NO, I'M SERIOUS.
YOU'RE STILL YOUNG AND GORGEOUS.
(laughs) OH, I DON'T KNOW.
(inhales and exhales deeply)
THERE'S A SAYING--
"YOU KNOW YOU'VE HIT MIDDLE AGE
"WHEN YOUR MEMORIES BECOME MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU
THAN YOUR DREAMS."
AND I HAVE SUCH WONDERFUL MEMORIES--
OF MIKE,
AND YOU KIDS GROWING UP,
ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ON THE LANE.
MM.
OH, DO I HAVE ONE LAST TORRID ROMANCE IN ME?
MAYBE.
(chuckles)
BUT I KNOW IF I AM EVER COLD AND LONELY,
I CAN WRAP MYSELF UP IN ALL THOSE MEMORIES,
AND I WILL BE CONTENT.
(sighs deeply)
(amplified voice) SO, RENEE AND BEN,
NEVER FORGET THAT IT TAKES A LOT OF LOVE
TO MAKE A HOUSE A HOME.
AND WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MARKET FOR A NEW HOME,
CONSIDER LEE McDERMOTT, 1-800--
GIVE ME THAT! (feedback whines)
(amplified voice) OKAY. MATRON OF HONOR'S TURN.
LYNETTE SCAVO, GIVE US A TOAST.
OH! (applause)
(amplified voice) RENEE AND BEN,
YOUR WEDDING IS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE
BECAUSE IT'S THE DAY YOU REALIZE,
"I FINALLY HAVE THE THING I NEED TO BE HAPPY."
AND THEN YOU FORGET.
SO... THEN WHAT HAPPENS IS,
INSTEAD OF WAKING UP EVERY MORNING
AND SHOUTING, "SOMEBODY LOVES ME!"
YOU START LOOKING AROUND AND THINKING,
"WHAT DO I WANT NOW?
WHAT'S THE NEXT THING I NEED TO BE HAPPY?"
SO...
YOU LOOK AND YOU LOOK,
AND YOU KEEP THINKING YOU'VE FOUND IT, BUT NOTHING WORKS.
AND THE REASON THAT NOTHING WORKS
IS BECAUSE...
THAT HOLE IN YOUR HEART THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO FILL...
IS ALREADY FILLED.
YOU JUST FORGOT.
(chuckles)
DON'T EVER FORGET.
ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO BE LOVED,
AND HOW MUCH YOU ARE LOVED.
AND I THINK IF YOU CAN DO THAT-- AND IT ISN'T EASY--
YOU WILL STOP LOOKING AND REALIZE
YOU ALREADY ARE HAPPY.
TO RENEE AND BEN,
AND TO REMEMBERING. (chuckles)
CHEERS. (clinking)
(whispers) I LOVE YOU.
(mouths words)
***
(indistinct conversations)
SO... YOU MEANT THAT?
I'M HAPPY.
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
I BET SOMEONE LIKE THAT COULD BE HAPPY ANYWHERE.
(chuckles) MMM.
EVEN NEW YORK.
(crackling)
AGAIN?
(crackling)
(Johnny Mathis' "Wonderful! Wonderful!" plays)
* OOH, OOH
* SOMETIMES WE STAND ON THE TOP OF A HILL *
* AND WE GAZE AT THE EARTH AND THE SKY *
* AHH, AHH, AHH
* I TURN TO YOU, AND YOU MELT IN MY ARMS *
* THERE WE ARE, DARLING, ONLY YOU AND I *
* AHH, AHH, AHH
* WHAT A MOMENT TO SHARE
* IT'S WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL
* OH, SO WONDERFUL, MY LOVE
* AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH
* THE WORLD IS FULL OF WONDROUS THINGS, IT'S TRUE *
* BUT THEY WOULDN'T HAVE MUCH MEANING WITHOUT YOU *
* SOME QUIET EVENING, I SIT BY YOUR SIDE *
* AND WE'RE LOST IN A WORLD OF OUR OWN *
* AHH, AHH, AHH
* I FEEL THE GLOW OF YOUR UNSPOKEN LOVE *
* I'M AWARE OF THE TREASURE THAT I OWN *
* AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH
* AND I SAY TO MYSELF
* IT'S WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL
* OH, SO WONDERFUL, MY LOVE
* AND I SAY TO MYSELF
* IT'S WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL
* OH, SO WONDERFUL
* MY LOVE
* OOH, OOH
* OOH
(songs ends)
(crackling)
SUSAN DELFINO MOVED FROM WISTERIA LANE ON A THURSDAY.
BUT BEFORE SHE LEFT,
SHE WENT TO SPEND A FEW MORE MOMENTS WITH HER FRIENDS,
DOING WHAT THEY LOVED BEST.
I SEE YOUR 25...
(chip thuds)
AND I RAISE YOU 50. (clink)
I KNOW YOU'RE BLUFFING.
HOW?
FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS,
EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A BAD HAND, YOU TAP THE SIDE OF YOUR GLASS.
NO, I DON'T.
YEAH, YOU DO.
YOU TOTALLY DO. ABSOLUTELY.
I HAVE A TELL, AND YOU GUYS NEVER TOLD ME?
ALL RIGHT, YOU EACH OWE ME $12,000.
(all chuckle) (chips clinking)
I JUST REALIZED THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME
WE'LL PLAY POKER TOGETHER.
OH, DON'T SAY THAT.
WELL, YOU'RE MOVING,
AND LYNETTE'S TALKING ABOUT TAKING THAT JOB IN NEW YORK.
OH, WE'LL STILL GET TOGETHER.
I GUESS. IT'S JUST...
WHAT?
I JUST ALWAYS HAD THIS FANTASY,
THE FOUR OF US STAYING HERE, GROWING OLD TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW, OUR GRANDKIDS COMING TO VISIT,
ME STAYING GORGEOUS WHILE THE THREE OF YOU AGE HORRIBLY.
(laughing loudly)
YOU KNOW SHE'S ACTUALLY DREAMED ABOUT THAT.
OF COURSE SHE HAS.
NO, SERIOUSLY,
I'M GONNA MISS THIS SO MUCH.
I'M GONNA MISS US.
IT'S FUNNY.
SOME PEOPLE NEVER GET TO KNOW THE FOLKS NEXT DOOR.
THEY SHARE A FENCE AND NOTHING ELSE.
AND WE'VE SHARED EVERYTHING.
(sighs) HOW DID WE GET TO BE SO LUCKY?
I AM SO CRAZY NUTS ABOUT YOU GUYS.
PROMISE ME THIS IS NOT THE LAST TIME
WE'RE GONNA PLAY POKER TOGETHER.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
WE'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE THE TIME.
OF COURSE WE WILL.
IT WAS A PROMISE MADE IN ALL SINCERITY,
BUT SADLY, IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE.
LYNETTE AND TOM SCAVO LEFT THE LANE FOUR WEEKS LATER.
THEY MOVED TO NEW YORK,
WHERE LYNETTE LEARNED THE JOY OF BEING A C.E.O.
SHE AND TOM SOON BOUGHT
A PENTHOUSE OVERLOOKING CENTRAL PARK...
WHERE, YEARS LATER, SHE'D TAKE HER SIX GRANDCHILDREN
AND YELL AT THEM.
GABRIELLE AND CARLOS SOLIS
LEFT THE NEIGHBORHOOD THE FOLLOWING YEAR.
THIS WAS AFTER CARLOS HELPED HER DEVELOP
A PERSONAL SHOPPING WEB SITE,
WHICH LED TO GABRIELLE GETTING HER OWN SHOW
ON THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK.
THEY SOON BOUGHT A MANSION IN CALIFORNIA,
WHERE THEY ARGUED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
TWO YEARS LATER,
BREE AND HER NEW HUSBAND LEFT FAIRVIEW.
THEY MOVED TO LOUISVILLE,
WHERE BREE JOINED A CLUB FOR CONSERVATIVE WOMEN.
TRIP THEN ENCOURAGED HER TO ENTER INTO LOCAL POLITICS.
THE FOLLOWING NOVEMBER,
BREE WAS ELECTED TO THE KENTUCKY STATE LEGISLATURE.
BUT SUSAN DELFINO
WAS THE FIRST TO MOVE FROM WISTERIA LANE.
AND THIS IS HOW IT ENDED.
SHE INTRODUCED HERSELF
TO THE WOMAN WHO WAS MOVING IN.
YOU MUST BE JENNIFER.
AND YOU MUST BE SUSAN.
(chuckles) NICE TO MEET YOU.
SORRY IF I'M EARLY.
I, UH, MADE BETTER TIME THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD.
WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE.
MY HOUSE IS YOUR HOUSE.
(both laugh)
I MEAN, LEGALLY, THIS IS YOUR HOUSE.
(sighs) AHH.
(laughs)
HEY, I HOPE THAT YOU'LL BE HAPPY HERE.
THANKS. STEVE'S SO EXCITED TO FINALLY LIVE IN THE SUBURBS.
I'M A LITTLE WORRIED IT'S GOING TO BE BORING.
OH, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
NOW THIS STREET IS A LOT OF THINGS.
BORING IS NOT ONE OF THEM. (laughs)
(sighs)
CAN WE GO NOW?
YEAH, WE'RE GOING.
(seat belt clicks)
(starts engine)
(sighs)
HEY, DO YOU GUYS MIND IF I TAKE ONE LAST SPIN AROUND THE BLOCK?
GO FOR IT.
(shifts gears)
AS SUSAN LEFT HER DRIVEWAY,
SHE HAD A FEELING SHE WAS BEING WATCHED...
AND SHE WAS.
THE GHOSTS OF PEOPLE WHO HAD BEEN A PART OF WISTERIA LANE
WERE GAZING UPON HER AS SHE PASSED.
THEY WATCHED HER, AS THEY WATCH EVERYONE,
ALWAYS HOPING THE LIVING COULD LEARN
TO PUT ASIDE RAGE AND SORROW,
BITTERNESS AND REGRET.
THESE GHOSTS WATCH,
WANTING PEOPLE TO REMEMBER
THAT EVEN THE MOST DESPERATE LIFE...
IS OH... SO WONDERFUL.
BUT ONLY A LUCKY FEW REALIZE THE GIFT THEY'VE BEEN GIVEN.
MOST PEOPLE JUST GO ON DAY AFTER DAY,
TRYING IN VAIN...
TO KEEP SECRETS...
THAT WILL NEVER STAY HIDDEN.