♪ Life is like a hurricane
♪ Here in Duckburg
♪ Racecars, lasers, airplanes
♪ It's a duck-blur
♪ Might solve a mystery
♪ or rewrite history
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Every day they're out there making
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Tales of derring-do
♪ Bad and good luck tales
♪ D-d-d-danger
♪ Watch behind you
♪ There's a stranger out to find you
♪ What to do? Just grab onto some
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Every day they're out there making
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Tales of derring-do
♪ Bad and good luck tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Not ponytails or cottontails, no
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh ♪
[Duckworth] Sir, you simply must get some rest.
You've already got bags under the bags under your eyes.
And I'll probably get bags under those, too, Duckworth.
I cannot rest till I decipher this old map,
which will lead me straight to the treasure of the ancient Thincas.
Unfortunately, only a genius could solve this puzzle.
Three geniuses at your service.
Sorry, lad. I've got no time for playing games.
Who's playing games? Look at these report cards.
Tickle me tassels! All As!
But, what about Bubba?
I've never seen such horrible grades.
Bubba flubba.
But, Uncle Scrooge, Bubba studied awful hard to get those awful grades.
This cannot be! Did you not learn anything in school?
Uh... Bubba learned recess. Tootsie "It!"
[both yelling]
Well, you get an "A" in Home Wreckonomics.
But something's got to be done about your other grades.
Go study your books while I study the map.
Boy, we've really got our homework cut out for us.
We gotta make Bubba smarter.
[Gyro] Please understand, boys, I can tutor Bubba all you want,
but he'll never be able to keep up with all the other students,
thanks to his Neanderthal noodle. Bubba's brain is just too primitive.
Aw, can't you do anything, Gyro?
Well, I do have a shortcut around here somewhere.
- [all] Wow! - [Louie] Neat hat!
It's more than just a hat, Louie. It's a thinking cap,
guaranteed to stimulate Bubba's brain and make him smarter.
[machinery humming]
[yelling]
[yammering]
Bubba! Speak to us!
Did you hurt your head?
[in sophisticated voice] Uh, actually, it feels like a slight bruise
to the gluteus maximus.
Wow! That thinking cap worked!
Bubba's got brains!
Well, was there ever any doubt?
Let's test your new noggin, Bubba.
Maybe you can figure out this formula that's been puzzling me for years.
Why, no problem at all.
Oh, this is just a simple matter of putting two and two together.
[fizzing]
Aw, Bubba's brain is scaring us.
Don't worry, Bubba. It takes a lot of hard work to become an instant genius.
Einstein's dome wasn't built in a day, you know?
I give up. This is impossible!
For others, maybe, but not for someone with my... intellect.
Bubba, did Gyro fix your thinking cap?
- You be the judge. - [machinery whining]
Are you OK, Bubba?
My cranial capacity is merely growing in relation
to the electrical impulses provided by the boosting power
of the thinking cap.
In terms you can understand, I'm getting smarter.
Maybe too smart.
Allow me to demonstrate.
[Huey] Wow! Amazing!
Hey! How'd you do that?
Why it's as easy as pi... squared to the 27th degree, of course.
Whoever heard of square pies?
Everybody knows pies are round. Especially cherry pies.
What I'm saying is, you can do anything once you put your mind to it.
Say, how about putting your mind to a little game of baseball?
I'd much rather go to the library.
I've got so much studying to catch up on.
Oh, I think we just struck out.
You must have taken out every book in the library, Bubba.
Correction, I did leave the coloring books.
I have absolutely no more use for coloring.
Oh, gee, you used to love 'em.
What matters now is that I... I get better grades in school.
Then Mr. McDuck will be... how should we say...
extremely pleased with me.
My days of being a dunce are history.
_ [squealing] [crashing]
Oh, yuck!
How utterly prehistoric.
Three tons of scaly fun is not my idea of the perfect cave companion, you know.
Speaking of "cave," this place is so...
so utterly primitive.
My word! This chair's as hard as a rock!
It is a rock! An igneous divan.
Oh, this simply will not do.
[Scrooge] Boil me bagpipes! I've been burgled!
I've been robbed by book crooks.
Bubba! What are you doing here?
Well, at the precise moment, I'm reading a scintillating study
on the evolutionary development of the Panamanian pill bug.
- I cannot believe it! - Oh, then you've read the study, too.
Fascinating, isn't it?
No, not the pill bug. You!
I cannot believe how much you've changed, Bubba.
It's all for the better, Mr. McDuck, I assure you.
In fact, I've been dabbling with several brilliant ideas
on how to boost your profits.
Now that's what I call bagpipe music to my ears.
I'm sure you will agree that a mind as marvelous as mine
deserves these refined surroundings.
My Cro-Magnon condo out back has got to go.
You can stay here just as long as you like, lad.
Just keep on thinking... especially about my money.
You know you kids could learn an awful lot from the new Bubba.
We've already learned something. We miss the old Bubba.
Ah, yes, he was charming.
But so small-minded. Why, his IQ level went outwith the Stone Age.
Yeah, but you've still got rocks in your head.
I beg to differ.
You see, the way to Scrooge's heart is through his bank account,
and I'm sure to increase his coffers a billion-fold.
But first, I must do my homework for school.
I promised our teacher I'd earn my diploma this week.
But you just flunked first grade!
[chuckles] Amazing, isn't it? That's why my senior thesis is,
How to Go from Kindergarten to College Graduate in a Week or Less.
[machinery whirring]
[Bubba] And so the second law of thermodynamics can be interpreted
to mean that the entropy of a closed system tends towards a maximum...
i.e. that is, its available energy
tends towards a minimum.
Mrs. Quackenbush! Where you going?
Back to college. Class dismissed.
[cheering]
Hey, let's go to the movies.
Yeah, Bubba's favorite flick, Attack of the Killer Kumquats is playing.
You can count me out, boys.
There's a fascinating lecture on the history of the waffle iron
at the university today. Then it's back to Mr. McDuck's
to brainstorm on some big business ideas.
Boy, Bubba's become about as much fun as Uncle Scrooge at a coin toss.
He's a genius. A true genius.
Bubba sure has a flair for big business.
And it's getting bigger and better by the minute.
Just yesterday he predicted that hooly-hooly hoops
would be popular again.
And the money's been pouring in ever since.
Where is Mr. Know-it-all, now?
In his new home, the Think Tank.
[beeping]
I see a line of wigs for bald babies,
elevator bow ties for people with short necks,
uh... body shoehorns for instant dressing,
microwave underwear for Eskimos...
Inquiring minds want to know... What's on Bubba's mind?
Can he do my homework for me?
He's got to tell me what word has seven letters and means "like a tuna fish."
Please, gentlemen, please. Mr. Bubba is not seeing anyone today.
- Wanna bet! - Sic 'em, Tootsie!
- [squealing] - [all shouting]
Excuse me, but do you lads have an appointment?
Appointment? We want Bubba to come play.
Sorry, but Bubba no longer has time for childish games.
He's busy deciphering my map to the treasure of the ancient Thincas.
By Jove, I think I've got it!
What are we wasting time for?
Let's go to the Thinca ruins and collect my riches.
I cannot believe my eyes.
You barely glanced at the pilot's manual,
and you're already flying better than Launchpad.
The study of aerodynamics is mere child's play
once you understand Duckimedes' Principle.
Boy, all we need to keep us afloat is Bubba's hot air.
[crashing]
[all screaming]
Can you not do something, Bubba?
Sorry, chum, but this is definitely beyond my control.
There's absolutely nothing in the manual
about flying the plane without wings.
That never stopped Launchpad!
What are you so happy about?
Why, this crash.
It's a stunning example of Quackton's Law of Gravity.
Uh-oh! We've got company!
Bad company.
Ooga-booga labba-rabba.
- What did he say, Bubba? - Ooga-booga labba-rabba.
I know that! But what does that mean?
On the evolutionary scale you're certainly closer to them than I am.
You tell me.
Huh. The old Bubba could have clobbered those guys.
[Bubba] Hmmm, just as I thought.
From the looks of the architecture and those weapons,
the ancient Thincas were scientific geniuses
who used their advanced technology to build this incredible city.
Well, their descendants don't look so smart to me.
Huh... What you doing here?
I'm the one who should be asking the questions.
Like, why did those rejects from a bad science fiction movie
shoot down my plane?
[chuckling] Excuse my friend's bad manners, kind sir,
but we're searching for the legendary treasure of the Thincas.
We guard treasure vault for many moons.
Long after Thincas vanish.
But no one can open it.
Only someone as smart as the ancient ones could do that.
Ah, then your worries are over. I will uncover the treasure.
No! Only one way to deal with trespassers.
Lock them in the pyramid!
[shouting]
Crumble my oatcakes! We'll never get out of here.
Cheer up, old bean.
Those brainless guards may have put us right where we wanted to be.
In a prison?
[chuckling] You slay, Huey.
Pyramids were never used as prisons.
They were tombs where rulers were buried with their wealth.
You mean, the treasure of the Thincas might be in here?
Well, there's only one way to find out.
But the treasure's not ours, Uncle Scrooge.
It belongs to the natives.
Do you think it's really fair to let those jungle jugheads keep it?
It belongs to someone who knows the difference
between a dollar and a doorknob right, Mr. McDuck?
You have a point there, lad.
The treasure would be wasted on these poor fellows.
If these jewels are just a taste of the treasure,
I cannot wait for the whole seven-course meal.
According to the map, this door is actually an ancient computer
built by the Thincas.
All the jewels are a control panel to open the door and reveal the treasure.
Glad dandy! Treasure, here I come!
- [gems chiming] - [rumbling]
What... what did I do?
You started some sort of chain reaction, Mr. McDuck. A self-destruct mechanism.
How do you stop this blasted thing?
If I can complete the proper sequence of buttons
and recreate that distinctive musical phrase,
then the pyramid won't destroy itself.
But what happens if you push the wrong buttons?
Uh, then it's bye-bye birdie.
Can't you think any faster, Bubba?
I must concentrate. My brains cells are already stretched to the limit.
Blast! My finger must have slipped!
Oh, great! Mr. Egghead is cracking!
There it is, Laddie. You did it!
What else do you expect from a genius?
This brain business has definitely gone to Bubba's head.
[muffled angry shouting]
Uh-oh. Here come our friends.
And I don't think they want our autographs.
I hope you know where you're going, Bubba.
Fear not, little one. The way is as simple as one, two, three.
Oh, great! Which tunnel do we take?
Hmm, let's see now. The statistical probability...
[men shouting]
Deduce all you want, but the tunnel on the left looks good enough for me.
Huey's coin toss is never wrong, Bubba. We go right.
Uh, give or take a point or two percent chance of random error...
Ah-ha! This is the way.
Who am I kidding? Bubba's the one with the brains.
Hey! Wait for us!
Which way? Which way?
[grunting]
- [roaring] - [shouting]
[water rushing]
We must be getting closer. I can almost smell the treasure.
All I smell is trouble.
More trouble!
[woman]! Think, I think I do, there's only one way to get through.
My riddles are the key. Right answers set you free.
Ah, I love a good challenge. Fire away.
How long is a piece of string?
Gee, that's easy. It's... uh...
It's twice the distance from the center to either end.
- [bell chimes] - Oh, I knew that.
One down, and two to go.
What runs in and out of the city, 24 hours a day?
A pizza delivery man?
- No, the road. - [bell chimes]
Good answer. Lastly, what kind of room has no walls?
This room, the way it's shrinking!
Uh... uh...
Do not fail me now, Bubba.
- A mushroom! - [bell chimes]
Congratulations! You may now pass Go and collect 200 fish skins.
Whew! I like my clothes pressed, but not while I'm wearing them.
Be patient, Mr. McDuck. Soon the fruits of my labor will all be yours.
Behold!
The treasure! It must be there.
[roaring]
Got any more bright ideas, Bubba?
Well, in a one-to-one bet I might have a chance of defeating this beast,
but he looks so feeble-minded, I doubt he could even pass an eye test.
[roaring]
Why don't you just club him, Bubba?
Use brute force?
[stammering] I wouldn't know how to begin.
I do not believe it.
Bubba's forgotten his primitive survival instincts.
[roaring]
I beg to differ. Run!
[roaring]
This is terrible! That rubble-rouser is going to turn the boys into duck pété.
So true.
Bubba, where do you think you're going?
I've got better things to do than dilly-dally with a monster.
There's a treasure to be found.
But what about my nephews?
- [roaring] - [all screaming]
It's all part of the Duckwinian theory. Survival of the fittest, you know.
But, they're doomed.
Alas, with the universe expanding and the ozone layer deteriorating,
I'm afraid I have to agree.
However, all that matters for now is the treasure.
You've... You've become a cold duck!
All head and no heart.
I never thought I'd say this, but I'd rather have the old Bubba back.
But, Mr. McDuck, I did this all for you.
I thought making you richer would make you happy.
Riches cannot buy me a family, and my family makes me happy.
Right now, I'd be much happier to have the old Bubba back.
Simple-minded. Lovable.
And able to whack that monster to pieces.
Then there's only one thing to do: reverse my intelligence.
Become a part of your family again.
Farewell, dear Scrooge.
[in normal voice] Bubba back!
Bubba play!
[shrieking]
[crashing]
Go, Bubba, go!
Bubba big hit.
[roaring]
Oh, no! Bubba's down and out.
Surprise!
[muttering, groaning]
I knew you had it in you, lad.
Uncle Scrooge, Uncle Scrooge! Look what we found!
That's the treasure?
To the ancient Thincas, it was. It's the story of their civilization.
This shows that they became so smart they forgot their own survival skills
and couldn't fight the monsters of their time.
Yeah, and it says they cared only about being smart.
Not about each other.
I don't know about riches, but there's something of value in that.
You have found treasure?
Aye, and it's all yours.
Perhaps you can profit from the Thincas' mistakes.
Here, Chief. This will show you that the Thincas weren't as smart
as they thought they were.
Let them keep their treasure. I've already got mine.
My family.
Now that Bubba's back to his old self, we can have fun again.
- Yeah! - Yeah!
Uh-oh! Looks like Bubba's become a brain again.
Bubba, did you use that thinking cap again?
No, Bubba not think. Bubba color!
Whew!
He's no Einstein, but he's our Bubba!