♪ Life is like a hurricane
♪ Here in Duckburg
♪ Racecars, lasers, airplanes
♪ It's a duck-blur
♪ Might solve a mystery
♪ or rewrite history
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Every day they're out there making
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Tales of derring-do
♪ Bad and good luck tales
♪ D-d-d-danger
♪ Watch behind you
♪ There's a stranger out to find you
♪ What to do? Just grab onto some
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Every day they're out there making
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Tales of derring-do
♪ Bad and good luck tales Ooh-woo-ooh
♪ Not ponytails or cottontails, no
♪ Duck Tales Ooh-woo-ooh ♪
[man] And so, today I proudly announce
that Scrooge McDuck will put thousands of people to work
building our new shopping center, the Scrooge McMall.
[cheering]
- [flashbulbs popping] - Sir, would you care to comment?
Coming through! Let me by! Gangway! Make room! Move it!
Take a seat, sweetcakes!
Incidentally, love the hair.
Lawrence Loudmouth here, K-DUK news.
Hey, the king of trash TV.
Don't get cute, McDuck. What's really behind this scam of yours?
- What scam? - Is it true there are oil deposits
- below the construction site? - No!
- Didn't you bribe the council? - No!
And where were you on the night of the 14th?
- I don't remember. - A-ha!
- "A-ha" what? - Admit it!
This is another way for you to line your pockets at the people's expense.
Nonsense! You don't have a single fact to back you up!
We don't need facts! We're in television!
- [crowd muttering] - [flashbulbs popping]
At City Hall, this is Lawrence Loudmouth reporting.
For a month you've been haranguing me on your TV show.
Why are you out to get me?
Actually, I'm out to get ratings, but you're big news in this town.
So when big news gets bad news, it's good news for my news!
Incidentally, love the hat.
[engine roaring]
If I don't take a relaxing dip in the Money Bin, I may do something violent...
to a certain reporter!
Don't push, Gizmo-kiddies. There's plenty of snapshots to go around.
Just not enough of me.
There, that's handy.
Good morning, sir!
Gizmo-guys, this is my boss, Mr. McDuck.
I saw you on TV. Lawrence Loudmouth says you steal candy from babies!
You don't believe that, do you?
It was on TV, it's gotta be true!
[kids jeering]
[yelping] GizmoDuck, get me out of here!
Egad! The little dickens must have gotten up on the wrong side
of their trundle beds this morning.
Where to, Mr. McDuck?
Ach, just drop me off at home.
Right-o! One Gizmo-ride to go!
The Scarlet Brigand! But, I ordered you to be boiled in oil!
Yes, but now out of the frying pan and into the fire, Don Crisco!
EH garde!
[all cheering]
Ooh, that newbie newsnik's probably spreading more lies about me!
Sorry, lads, pressing business.
Ruthless businessman, political kingpin, and now rumors that Scrooge
is really an alien Elvis impersonator.
Tune in tonight for pan' 12 in my investigative series...
Scrooge McDuck: Threat or Menace?
[groaning]
Gee, Uncle Scrooge, you sure don't come off looking too good.
Ach! And neither do you! What happened?
Aw... Some of the kids at school repeated stuff Loudmouth said about you.
Yeah, so we stood up for you, and wound up with these.
Thanks, lads. But you know I don't approve of you fighting with your fists.
You've got to use your heads.
Uh... We did that, too.
That junk food journalist is endangering all of us.
I've got to prove that I'm a good guy!
Great! So, uh... Meanwhile, could we switch back to the movie?
Fine, whatever.
[Scrooge] Hmm. What to do? What to do?
[cheering]
What is the big to-do?
That's the Scarlet Brigand.
He wears a mask and he saves people.
He's everybody's hero. But it's only a movie.
Maybe. Maybe not.
[siren wailing]
At last, the Nope Diamond.
Wow, that's some hunk of glass!
Yep, and in a minute, it's gonna be our hunk of glass!
- Gloves. - Gloves!
- Applicator. - Applicator!
And now, the most powerful corrosive substance known to man...
Ma's homemade chili!
I wanna eat the leftovers!
Careful! One drop of that stuff will burn right through you!
No kiddin'. Now stand back.
Hey! What's the deal?
[man] Oh, I'm so sorry, boys!
Did I throw cold water on your plans?
Who are you?
I am the Masked Mallard! You are under arrest!
And you are a ravin' loon! Bouncer, cook that duck's goose!
Whoa!
[snapping]
I got him, Bigtime!
This clown thinks it's Halloween!
Yes, but seeing you here... it must be April Fools' Day!
Wise guy, eh?
Well, first thing I take's this fancy belt of yours!
[yelling]
I'm gonna get marked, ain't I?
Oh, darn!
[sirens wailing]
All right, Beagle Boys, come out nice and easy or...
Cuff us!
Just save us!
What's with you, boys?
[Masked Mallard] Elementary, my dear officer.
Just visiting. It was time to take a long vacation!
[laughing]
[whistling] Who was that guy?
[stuttering] Said he was the Masked Mallard.
So, you gonna take us to jail, or do we have to break ourselves in?
- [doorbell ringing] - It's open!
Late night, huh?
Careful. No one must know that the Masked Mallard is really...
Scrooge McDuck.
Sorry. So, did all the stuff I built work?
Shock buckle, mallard-arang, nuclear tweezers... The whole bit.
I've installed a new circuit so you can activate your cane's laser beam
just by whistling. Watch.
[whistling]
Gyro...
I know...
[both] Needs work.
Extra! Extra! Grateful city cheers caped canard!
- [grunting] - The Masked Mallard!
Now, as convicted criminals, how do you feel about the Masked Mallard?
He's a dirty, rotten do-gooder!
But he was very polite.
Yes, folks. Even his worst enemies are fans of the Masked Mallard.
Well, I say that this Masked Mallard is as big a threat
as that money-grubbing scourge, Scrooge!
We're being sold a bill of goods, citizens,
and I, for one, am not buying it!
Well, you're the only one who isn't, Mr. Loudmouth.
We interrupt this program for a news bulletin.
The Duckburg City Council is being held hostage!
I guess there's no such thing as business hours for a superhero.
Uh... and unless our demands are met,
we shall force the City Council members to watch reruns of...
The Broody Bunch!
[gasping]
We interrupt this program with a word from our sponsor,
Masked Mallard Magnetos!
It is futile to fight me.
That's why I call this my "futility belt."
So, hands up, hounds!
Not you, just them.
[nervous laughing]
[man] Bravo!
[cheering]
[laughing] Silly me. I forgot to change out of my costume.
[all] WOW!
It's the Masked Mallard!
This isn't the Masked Mallard, it's Uncle Scrooge!
You're both right!
[all] Say, what?
That Scarlet Brigand movie we watched
showed me I could do good deeds if I had a secret identity.
Uh... you mean, if nobody knew you were Scrooge McDuck
they wouldn't automatically think
you're doing something greedy and underhanded?
Uh... Aye! Something like that.
Oh, now I get it!
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
We got a genuine superhero in the house!
But only till tomorrow.
Then I'll reveal my true identity and prove that Scrooge McDuck is a good egg.
[mumbling]
[feedback ringing]
Testing... one... two.
Ladies and gents, I have an important announcement.
For weeks, Duckburg's been thrilled by the exploits of the Masked Mallard.
Stop the presses! Hold the phone! Hit the brakes!
What is it now, Loudmouth?
I thought you'd want to see this morning's paper, McDuck.
This photo was taken last night as the Masked Mallard
broke into the Duckburg Savings Bank.
What? [Gibbering]
Yes! The Masked Mallard has turned to crime!
Just as this reporter predicted, Duckburg's hero is a menace to society!
What do you have to say about that?
- [stammering] - [crowd muttering]
Stay tuned!
[crowd murmuring]
Everywhere I turn, it's Masked Mallard this, and Masked Mallard that!
[Fenton] Oh, hiya, Mr. McDuck!
Fenton, what are you doing here?
Oh, I love the art museum!
The history, the culture... and the free food!
Say, how about that Masked Mallard?
He sure turned out to be some kind of creep, didn't he?
I don't want to hear about it!
Well, pardon my face!
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please!
Tonight, thanks to a generous donation by Mrs. Buffy Parvenu,
I now present the museum's newest acquisition...
- Napoleon Bonaparte's very own. - [crowd gasping]
Solid gold popcorn bowl!
[cheering]
[yawning]
Oh, thank you.
As the old saying goes, it's better to give than to receive.
Well, that is a matter of opinion!
[exclaiming] Robber!
[laughing]
I knew it! There is an impostor!
That's Masked Mallard, with two "L" s!
- [tires screeching] - GizmoDuck!
So at last we meet my masked amigo.
But you have met your match with me.
[cheering]
You want me to give up, right?
Yes, because if you persist, I, GizmoDuck, the true hero of Duckburg,
shall give you what for.
And if what for isn't enough, I'll resort to what five!
OK, tin man, you win!
In fact, you deserve a prize!
Hey, that's darn nice of you.
- [GizmoDuck screaming] - [crashing]
Adios, amigo!
GizmoDuck, say something!
♪ I'm a little teapot short and stout...
And now it's time for the Masked Mallard Report
with your host, Lawrence Loudmouth!
[clapping and cheering]
We've got a big show for you today
with new photos of the Masked Mallard's latest crimes
in my continuing series, Scrooge McDuck, Get Out oi Town!
[exclaiming] I've had enough!
It's time the real Masked Mallard had a return engagement!
You're not going out as the Masked Mallard again?
It's the only way I'll flatten that fake, drag him on Loudmouth's TV show,
and prove there are two Masked Mallards.
That'll get them both off my back!
[spluttering]
Must have dozed off. And still no sign of that counterfeit...
A-ha!
Now we'll see who's the real Masked Mallard!
Stop, let me go!
Not till you give back that precious popcorn bowl you stole, you nefarious...
[shouting]
Now we'll see who's the mastermind behind this mayhem!
No, no! Don't!
[gasping] Scrooge McDuck!
Well, there goes this year's Christmas bonus!
My very own employer a criminal! How am I to cope?
What am I to do? Where can I get a book contract?
Would you just listen? You've got the wrong duck!
- See for yourself! - Uh... See what?
The impostor! Ash! He was fight there a second ago.
Yeah, uh, Mr. McDuck,
I think you've taken one too many nosedives into that Money Bin.
I'm not crazy!
Did you not see both me and the Masked Mallard outside the art museum?
- Yes. - Doesn't that give you a clue?
- No. - What?
Tough break, boss. But if you are the Masked Mallard,
I have to bring you in!
Uh, if you don't mind.
Sorry, GizmoDuck. But we'll have to take a rain check.
That guy really fries my diodes!
[thunder crashing]
[man] Be on the lookout for the Masked Mallard,
also known as Scrooge McDuck.
He is armed and dangerous.
Not to mention wet and... [coughing] ...miserable.
Serves me right, thinking dressing up like this
would solve problems like that.
Tune in at five for my latest exclusive photos
of that mercenary Masked Mallard McDuck, as he continues his crime spree!
Mercenary? Why if I had a dime for every dime I've donated...
Wait a penny-pinching minute.
How come only Loudmouth gets those shots of that phony at work?
Maybe I can prove there's more than one Masked Mallard around.
[thunder rumbles]
Mighty expensive digs for a humble journalist.
OK, lad. Now we'll see who's the star of this masquerade ball.
- [birds tweeting] - Stars? I'll show you stars!
[groaning] Ach, me sore head!
Brrr! Someone shut the wind... Oh!
Don't wiggle an inch, Mr. McDuck. It's a 30-story drop!
What is the meaning of all this?
I told you. Ratings!
The more I covered the Masked Mallard, the hotter I got.
One more heist and I'm off to Rio de Raneiro,
while you get hung out to dry for the crime!
Tell you what... I'll keep the set on
so you can hear all about my... that is... your final crime.
Ta-ta!
[wind whistling]
Loudmouth is right. One wrong move and I'm street pizza.
Ah, good as gold! Because it is!
Freeze! Uh, please!
Better come quietly, Mr. McDuck!
[weapons blasting]
Poor GizmoDuck's pulling his punches
so he does not hurt me, but it isn't me he's fighting.
Being beltless, I'm helpless.
Hold on!
Loudmouth may have my futility belt,
but he forgot to swap canes!
[grunting]
- Here goes nothing. - [whistling]
Hang on, GizmoDuck!
Mr. McDuck, sir! Time out, OK? Truce!
Take five!
That man definitely needs therapy!
[electrical buzzing]
Zounds! My armor has a fatal attraction for this magnet!
And there's another machine here that's got a real crush on you!
Goodbye, GizmoGeek!
You say goodbye, and I say hello.
This is a surprise.
I'm seeing double!
No more tricks, Loudmouth.
Just you and me, Mallard to Mallard.
En garde!
[man] Holy cow! There's two of 'em!
End of the line, McDuck.
Look, McDuck. I'm unarmed.
Oh, well then you need this.
I got it! Hey!
Ah, how the mighty have fallen.
Well, there goes what's left of the Masked Mallard suit.
Yep. My reputation's restored.
The City Council's OK'd my plan for the Scrooge McMall.
And Lawrence Loudmouth is off doing weather and sports
at Deviled-Egg Island Penitentiary.
Best of all, I realized I did not need some superhero suit to do me good.
It only got in the way.
Sometimes I have the same problem.
Itell you, Fenton, I never want to see a getup like that for as long as I...
Run for your lives, evildoers!
The Titanic Trio has arrived!
Ach! Not again!
No!
Boy, good costumes. They're working already!