GOSSIP GIRL: Good afternoon, followers! Gossip Girl here,
your one and only, etcetera, amen. Oscar Wilde once said,
"Give a man a mask, and he will tell you the truth,"
which is why I love Halloween.
Because what was once created to honor the dead
tends to leave bodies in its wake.
For when you don your disguise,
-the false sense of security it provides... - Yo! Watch it!
-...always leads to loose lips that'll sink both friends... - STUDENT 1: Fuck off, kid.
-...and relationships before dawn's early light. - [STUDENT 2 GRUNTING]
- STUDENT 1: Come on, bring it! - STUDENT 2: Fucking asshole.
GOSSIP GIRL: But I don't wanna spoil the fun.
After all, the biggest scares
are the ones you never see coming.
[ALL SCREAM]
dead or alive.
[MOANS]
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
That might have been the best one all week.
- We can't do it at school again. - [MAX WOLFE CHUCKLING]
- That's what you say every time. - Yeah, well, if we got caught...
[SIGHS] Your generation always feel so guilty after they come.
- Hmm. - So sweet.
[CHUCKLES] I'll see you tonight?
Inside my apartment for a change?
Ah, you didn't like the fire escape or the roof
- or the stoop, huh? - Hmm.
♪ ["SOLAR POWER" BY LORDE PLAYING] ♪
MONET DE HAAN: Hey, girl.
Hi.
- Hey. - Hi.
Consider me on the other side. Repelled.
- Come on. - So, where are we headed? Dover Street Market
- or Thai Diner? - Did you forget our plans or--
I actually have to go visit my grandma.
- You can come if you want. - MONET: I was talking,
right? Those weren't just voices in my head.
Oh, no because the voice in your head
is probably screaming right now.
Why are you guys sitting at this table?
- The same table? - The same table? Okay, now.
That, like everything but your outfit,
was carefully chosen.
The way the light hits, the proximity to the trash.
The fact that people have to uncomfortably
turn their head to the left to take us on.
Hey, where-- where's the brooch that we said we'd shoot you wearing?
Oh, do you mean the Burmese ruby?
Do you know they're called genocide gems?
Hmm. Who told you that?
If Z had done her research,
So there goes that sponsored post.
We could just hang around the Shibui pool.
You two have been spending an awful lot of time together.
Yeah. Well, Julien is on a mission
to show everybody that we really are friends
and what she said at my birthday party wasn't just
some publicity stunt to boost her followers.
Which worked, by the way.
So, what are we doing for Halloween?
Someone will definitely take a photo, and there's no better way
to prove that things are great between us than a group hang.
Hashtag Disney+.
I kind of already agreed to go with Obie
to this party one of the witches from Hocus Pocus throws.
Oh, um... Hulaween. How could I forget?
I'll just hang out with you girls.
This year's theme is New York Legends.
Plus, this is the first Halloween post-COVID.
So you're still defined by that humiliating loss
to Pippa Sykes and Bianca Breer from the year before.
Who?
that want what JC has,
- and pushing each other into fountains... - [BOTH LAUGH]
...to get after it and honestly, it's so basic.
- They might as well be bots. - [LAUGHS]
- But we still have to beat them. - A couples contest?
Isn't that kinda middle school?
Like, what, do you get a trophy or something?
of the holy trifecta: Vogue, Harper's, and WWD.
Add Miss GG to that mix.
ZOYA LOTT: Obie never said anything about a couples costume.
Well, no need to worry,
We have picked the perfect New York legends,
- Greta and Noah, yes. - JULIEN CALLOWAY: Ooh.
- LUNA LA: Ew. - And unlike them at the Oscars,
we will not be going home empty-handed.
So you and Aki...
and, uh, with no interference, and that's what counts.
Yeah. You need to think of something great, JC,
because you can't lose again.
Couples are a dead binary. Be Rihanna or Oprah.
They don't even need last names, let alone a partner to do anything.
AUDREY HOPE: Why is everyone on their phones?
Some kid brought a gun to school.
- Holy shit. - You're back on Insta?
MONET: Oh, my God! Of course, it's Pippa and Bianca's school.
Now they're gonna get the sympathy vote.
PIPPA SYKES: Can you believe it?
-Like, all 16 years. - Right in front of us.
I didn't wake up today thinking I would be a hero,
but when I screamed and everyone ran--
PIPPA: Love each other. Life is precious.
Join us on Clubhouse where we talk trauma.
- ♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] - Invite only.
You need to take those barely sentient succubi down
before they wind up on This American Life,
because you can't compete with that.
So, what are you gonna do?
Doesn't that make a costume contest
- MONET: Hmm. - Maybe this is the year we forgo all of that?
Hey, we don't have to go if you don't want to.
I mean, I wanna go, it's just the dressing up part.
Do they know why he brought a gun to school?
Gossip Girl, of course.
- Nice to see you all. - [AUDREY SIGHS]
MAX WOLFE: Some more than others.
If I didn't know any better,
Seems you know pretty well, huh?
We're gonna be late for practice.
Hmm. Dumbo Hall later? Most of us.
What did I ever do to you that you didn't ask for?
- Give us some space? - MAX: Ah.
So that's how it's gonna be. Okay. So, wait,
you fucked up fucking me and I get the shaft?
We apologized to each other,
but you don't think you did anything wrong.
See, that's your thing, Max. You never do anything wrong.
You're all id all the time, and, honestly,
- my ego is just exhausted by it. - Aw.
Okay. Well, look, don't worry, you can rest easy now.
[SIGHS] Messy Max still in effect.
Seems to be back to normal to me.
- Hmm. - [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- Do you think... - Hmm.
TV ANCHOR: And while what happened
as we move in to Halloween weekend.
Dr. Nan Barchek is with us, a child psychologist
here to talk about how parents can be more mindful
of the role sites like Gossip Girl
and Discord play in their kids' life.
-Dr. Barchek, thanks for coming. - This is our fault.
My sources say that that student's family
are big game hunters.
We're not responsible for what every disturbed kid in Manhattan does.
We are when that kid was targeted
in Gossip Girl-tagged photos.
We inadvertently created a platform for his bullies
to publicly humiliate him
and a forum for them to go off in the comments.
We can't control who tags us and what they write on our posts.
And it's because of Gossip Girl that they were able to identify
what happened and who was behind it. In a way,
we're kind of heroes.
Okay, fine. Antiheroes, like Batman.
doesn't mean it will the next.
- Too rash? - Define "all this," 'cause we've done, um,
many rash things: taking photos of undressed teenagers
from outside their window, getting our friend fired?
It started out as a small, in-school social experiment.
But it's become a citywide enterprise
that needs someone to constantly babysit it.
I don't feel right about it anymore.
Wow, submits a story to The Paris Review once.
This has nothing to do with whether or not my story gets published.
This is about real lives at stake.
Seriously? Remember when you couldn't take a day off?
Now you wanna walk away?
Wendy and I can pick up more slack.
I think we proved ourselves last time.
It's not that.
What we're doing has consequences.
[INHALES SHARPLY] It's best we take a break,
see if things cool off, and who knows?
Maybe it existing for that brief while
- made a difference. - This isn't just your decision.
Sometimes even Batman has to just be...
Bruce whoever.
Regardless of what Kate Jung Un thinks,
we have a say in this. And we can do what we want.
- Wayne. Bruce Wayne. - [WHISTLE BLOWING]
- [PANTS] - [EXHALES] You def beat your time.
I lucked out, man, everybody was slower today.
- Everyone's on edge. - Yeah.
I wish Julien hadn't told Zoya about the couples costumes.
Why?
Maybe, uh, have a good time with your girlfriend for a change?
Okay, but see, you say that word, and I'm like,
"Okay, is she my girlfriend?
Dude, don't worry. It'’s only been a month.
- Things move slower where she's from. - Yeah.
You and Julien lost your virginities to each other so quick,
no one even knew it had happened.
It's like when we first met--
and-- and thoughts and we'd talk for hours,
and now, it's like...
It's like I just monologue at her
and then wait for her to interrupt me.
AKI MENZIES: Uh, maybe you're afraid of it now that it's real?
All the obstacles that were in your way are gone.
And you finally have free time to get to know each other now.
- Which can be scary. - ♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Unless this is about Julien...
No, I like Zoya.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I'm sorry. [CHUCKLING] No matter how many buses I'm on,
I can never really manage to find my balance.
Uh, no, you're good. It's my fault.
I was on my phone. [CHUCKLES]
Yeah. What's a Gossip Girl?
I'm sorry. I-- I don't really have any phone etiquette.
And it's, uh, it's mainly because I only have one of these
in case of emergency.
So, you really don't read Gossip Girl?
SIMON RIVERA: No. And, uh, no offense or anything.
It just doesn't really seem like my thing.
Well, you must not be from here.
Oh, I hope it's not the school I've been hearing about all day.
Oh, man, are you okay?
It was just pretty intense, you know.
Uh, I just feel pretty bad that I didn't, like,
- see it coming. - How could you?
Well, I'm on a scholarship, like Jared is.
And, uh, you know, at a school like ours,
that can either give you a superiority complex
or add to you feeling different.
And, you know, mix that in with evil rich kids
that are exploiting that anxiety and pushing those buttons
and using us to make themselves feel better
about their privilege?
And if that Gossip Girl is what it sounds like,
you know, I imagine that probably made it worse.
Yeah. And I would be the first person to agree with you.
I guess because everybody does.
Well, you know what? Uh, now you know someone who doesn't.
Or you're getting to know someone, at least. Uh, Simon Rivera.
Uh, Zoya Lott. It-- It's nice meeting you.
I would keep talking, but this is my stop.
Well, maybe I'll see you on here again some time.
[DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING]
I'll be going out.
I'm making miso salmon and sushi rice.
It's your favorite.
Why are you staring at me?
I cooked last Christmas Eve, or the one before that.
- Um, I'm not that hungry, but... - Oh.
...I guess I should be happy that you got out of bed...
even though you didn't bother to shower.
Um, I'll have leftovers tomorrow.
- Um, actually, honey, I... - What?
I-- I need to talk to you about something.
Um, I have some news.
Has the company been bailed out?
Um... We are going to have to move home.
- We are home. - No, to Cornwall.
That is not my home. That's your home.
And after way too many years being stuck in that place,
I am never going back there.
Plus, Cornwall is two hours away. I can't comm...
Oh. You wanna pull me out of school too.
- Yes, Audrey. - [BREATHING SHAKILY] And of course,
you didn't actually make me dinner.
It's never an honest gesture with you.
Just another selfish act.
but you're right, there's no point.
- I have a migraine. - [SCOFFS] Wait! Just-- Just wait, okay?
Why don't you just sell the other house?
Because it wouldn't even cover
the cost of the maintenance here.
This is not up for discussion, okay?
I don't have a job, we have debt.
- We don't have a choice. - It's not "we" anything.
I had nothing to do with this, okay?
I am not going anywhere.
You can figure something out.
so be it.
♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
It was absolutely ridiculous.
like I'm supposed to be happy to play Little Edie to her Big
in some sad suburban shanty. It's-- [SIGHS]
AKI: Shanty?
I just feel like things are finally getting back
to normal around here. I'm not going anywhere.
Plus, the only reason that Connecticut even exists
is to create landmass between Boston and New York.
- Yeah. - Yeah, hmm.
[PHONE CHIMING]
- Did you just text me angry cat emojis? - Yes.
Can you please focus on possibly losing me forever
instead of already looking for someone better?
And you have a right to be upset with Kiki,
but I think it's unfair to label her financial issues
- as a minor setback. - Wow.
What a refreshing change of pace.
Hey! He isn't here, Akeno.
Another DM in distress to your account, JC.
Gaten Matarazzo says, "I know what it's like
to have to pretend to get along with your co-stars.
I understand why you're doing the same with your sis. Hearts."
I don't even know him. Ugh. I just don't understand.
When I told my fans that that apricot scrub ruined their skin,
sales plummeted 30 percent.
How is it I can't even convince them
I'm friends with my own sister?
MONET: Hate to say this, but you lost credibility
the second you took your finger off your apps.
If you want people to listen to you,
you need to remind them of the JC that they listened to,
which means no more no-phone zone.
No more filter-free once-a-week post.
Full-on, full-time, Julien. That's how.
Let us do our jobs again?
- JULIEN: Stay Zoya-friendly. - I like a challenge.
Yay! You're here.
MONET: Great. Just in time for shots.
Nothing says sisterhood like an All Hallows pre-game.
- LUNA: I'll get the mezcal. - MONET: Mm-hmm.
Get the whole bottle.
Hey so, um... [CLEARS THROAT]
...you remember that article I mentioned on deforestation
and how it, like, affects public health?
- Mm-hmm. - Well, the professor's actually giving a speech this weekend
at Columbia, and I thought that maybe we could go.
It's cool. It's, like-- It's about, you know, the footprint
from wildlife preserves and just got me thinking that, um...
You know what? This can wait. [CHUCKLES]
[INHALES SHARPLY] How was your day?
The strangest thing happened. I was on a bus,
and I started having this convers...
- Mm-hmm. - Can we not?
I mean, in front of Julien?
- Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. - [ZOYA CLEARING THROAT]
I have to pee.
Hey! So, you know
to move to New York for you, how did you do it?
Ugh. Stop, this is not gonna help me.
ZOYA: Also, he grew up here. He knew the city.
All I had to do was remind him what he liked most about it.
I'm gonna go get a-- get some more tea.
- Do you guys want anything? - Um-- um, yes, please, actually.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SIGHS]
- Hello? - Mr. Wolfe, it's Aki Menzies.
I'm trying to reach Max,
but he's not answering his phone.
GIDEON WOLFE: Aki, hello.
He hasn't been home much all week.
Has he not been with you?
I had assumed he was avoiding here
because of his father weeping in the guest room most nights.
[INHALES SHARPLY] But he finally moved out today.
And so the only one weeping here is me.
Sorry to hear that, sir.
GIDEON: Polite as always.
If you see my son, let him know the coast is clear
for his return.
AKI: Of course, Mr. Wolfe.
- Hey. - Oh, Zoya, hey!
ZOYA: I'm shocked to see you here.
It's not. No. Uh...
who, quote, "Only dines at members-only."
I see that and I raise you an influencer sister
who drags me here every day.
- Oh. Really? - Yeah.
Uh, no offense or anything, I just kind of want to leave
as soon as possible.
"Halloween is for family" campaign.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
to maybe give you my phone number?
I just feel that it's, you know, important for like-minded souls to...
- you know, stick together. - Uh, I'm-- I'm actually, um--
No, wa-- wait, I don't-- I don't mean it like that or anything.
It's just, uh... a kid brought a gun to my school today.
And it's just that, you know, it's got me thinking that,
you know, life, it's-- it's too short.
I mean, not to hang out with people
that you really connect with.
Yeah.
♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Okay. So, great news. Brilliance has struck,
and I have the perfect plan to get my mom here.
- That's awesome. - AKI: That's great, babe.
Hello? What are you guys looking at?
Who's the hot guy?
- rehashing their brush with death? - MONET: Mm.
Bianca was apoplectic so I love that.
JULIEN: [INHALES SHARPLY] There you are.
I wanna do fall colors in the morning and then--
What if we did a couples costume ourselves?
Us, together? Like the Kardashians?
Oh, um, why didn't you guys think of that?
Um, because the Kardashians aren't even an autocorrect anymore.
And because your brand is singular, not plural.
- You do this on your own. - Z, I thought that,
you know, I thought that we're pairing up?
You said you didn't want to.
- My friend, Simon, had the idea. - Wait, Simon? That's the guy
- that was-- that you were-- you were with? - Huh?
Oh, yeah. We were just talking.
I'm so in this with you.
Let's start brainstorming sisters.
- Uh, Jo and Amy. - Ooh, Elsa and Anna?
- Celie and Nettie. - Katniss and Prim.
Uh, Cordelia and Goneril?
- The Lohans, two Lohans. - ZOYA: Elena and Lila.
- All of the Olsens. - LUNA: This is a joke, right?
If I have to go along with this, you do too.
- We'll find the right look. - So stoked.
- PIPPA: Ooh. - Ugh, God.
I didn't know people from Constance
even knew about this place.
Do you mean what happened near you?
Do you know what else will be happening near me?
- ...with the perfect costume. - ...umes.
That'll pale in comparison with ours.
Because we have a better story.
- I'll see you from the dais... - ♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
...whoever you are.
JULIEN: Well, that deserves a drink.
Hmm?
GOSSIP GIRL: Spotted. We never could have predicted this,
-but looks like JC and Z... - [CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
...really have buried the hatchet.
Too bad Z buried it in Obie's back.
AKI: Remember when I said not to worry?
- I think you should worry. - ♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[INAUDIBLE CHATTER]
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
Why are you WhatsApp-ing me?
We said we would stop posting.
Technically, you said we would stop posting,
but then we got a photo of Zoya and that rando.
And then this photo, Obie alone,
sadder than sad Keanu. How could we not post it?
I was just making a meme. Here's Lobie eating pie.
Here's Lobie on a horse.
Here's Lobie with Bernie Mittens. And--
- Please just stop. - [CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
- Hello. - Ms. Keller? Kate?
Uh, sorry. Now is not a good time.
Uh, it's Nick.
Lott. Zoya's dad.
Oh, hi. Uh, how did you, um--
NICK LOTT: Uh, it's on the emergency phone tree.
I hope you don't mind me calling.
at the other school and well--
KATE KELLER: Did Zoya say anything about it?
Uh, people are blaming this Gossip Girl.
I know they've talked about Zoya, too.
Actually, I was thinking you could ask her.
Yeah, back in Buffalo, she was-- just so focused on school.
Always the extra credit kid.
And now she's going out all the time
with her sister, boyfriend.
And my mom suggested that I get a tutor.
And, you know, just to get Zoya back on track.
And as you're her favorite teacher, I thought...
What are you doing after school tomorrow?
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING, CHIMING]
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Tomorrow? Um, nothing.
[MUTTERS] For fuck's s--
Tried you a few times last night.
Phone's on "do not disturb."
You and your dad must be pretty broken up
about your Pops leaving the house, huh?
- Said you never. - What is this, huh?
I'm doing great for the first time in weeks
with just my own chemistry and you're draining my dopamine.
Maybe there's a teacher you can fuck to get it back.
Oh, okay. I see. So this isn't a haze,
it's a visit from the purity police?
This can ruin his career, Max.
This can follow you around forever. For life.
Well, uh, if you want me to stop so bad...
you can always make me.
No, but you're not my friend, Ak. Are you?
I'm just someone you can project your fantasies onto.
And now that your girlfriend wants me out of the picture,
you've realized how bored and basic you are without me.
And that's not my fault.
You tell a single soul, what you know...
and what I do to you next will be.
♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
- Everything all right? - Yeah, um,
I just-- I can't hang out after school.
Well, for the next half hour, we're your tutors, got it?
Why are we doing this?
and you should do yours, alone.
LUNA: The sister thing is cute.
It's only cute if the idea is cute.
Hmm. Swipe.
JULIEN: The costumes, they can't just be cool.
They have to tell a story. Specifically, our story.
Taking control of the narrative is about owning the accusations.
We should play into what people are saying about us.
So, do a legendary rivalry?
- Exactly. - All right.
What if we did SJP and Kim Cattrall
or-- or Keke Palmer and that man?
[SIGHS]
- Bey and Solange. - Oh, my God. Duh!
Wait! But they're not rivals.
- They're really close, right? - Are they though?
I mean, they are sisters in the same field, right?
And the world is constantly trying to see
That's exactly our story.
This is gonna be our defining moment.
Okay. So obviously, you're Beyoncé.
-Lemonade or Homecoming? - Hmm. Too expected.
What about one of the royal looks from Black is King?
JULIEN: Yes!
You, guys, if we want really good attention,
we do the elevator.
[EXCLAIMS] And we know you look great in orange.
Yeah, because buffalo wings or Buffalo Exchange?
- Yeah. Got it. - [BOTH LAUGHING]
- Um, hey, that's my phone. - LUNA: I found the guy you were looking for
when you lied about texting your dad.
Too bad he's private.
Is that the guy from last night?
Simon Rivera, yeah.
Are things that bad with Obie?
And Simon and I have a lot of things in common.
You and Obie have similar interests too, right?
It's just sometimes I wonder if he actually
cares about the things he talks about
Like why go to a talk
if you could just do something, you know?
[CLEARS THROAT] I, uh, I gotta get back.
Okay.
- Bye. - [JULIEN CLEARING THROAT]
[CHUCKLES] You just missed her.
Yeah, I see that. I came looking for you actually.
I need your help.
I wanna know what's going on.
His name is Simon Rivera, and that's all I know.
I'm sorry, Obie.
Don't be. I'm not.
Hello, yes, this is Otto and Helena Bergmann's son.
that you could, uh, maybe do me a favor.
- AKI: What's up, Audge? - I was really counting on your help
- after school. - AKI: I know, it's just--
You know when something's wrong, and you know you can't fix it,
but you have to see it through anyway?
You mean like this conversation?
I'm just trying to stop Max from making a mistake
that could affect his life forever.
- And then I'll stop by? - No need.
I wanted a sous-chef, not an extra guest.
- Wish me luck. - Good luck.
Wish me luck, too.
♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER] - ♪ [MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
I gather this isn't a coincidence?
More like an intervention.
What are you doing here?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
And no idea why you've decided to talk about it here.
What? Would you rather me wait till he arrives?
But you won't.
Because you already tried this with him and it didn't work.
Or you wouldn't be here.
I have an idea. A photo of you two here.
Sent to Gossip Girl for the whole world to see.
Here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna leave.
But if you ever try to say or send anything to anyone...
I'll tell everyone how wildly inappropriate it was
that you hit on me.
And after I said no, stalked me.
And I had no choice, but to ask your friend Max for help.
From there, it's a pretty short jump to suspension or--
Hey, man, don't touch me!
- AKI: I didn't. - Everything okay here?
RAFA CAPARROS: This kid just got a little too close.
Don't worry. I'm leaving.
♪ [SONG CONTINUES PLAYING]
I know that everyone just saw that.
I've got witnesses to back my story up.
Go home, Aki.
And leave the adults to make our own decisions.
[DOORBELL BUZZING]
KIKI HOPE: Hey, Audge, can you get that?
- It's the doorman. - Yep.
♪ [MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
AUDREY: Ah, yes, send them up.
What is this?
Rachel Lustbader and Celeste Talbot
- are on their way up now. - Here?
AUDREY: And Avery Thorne and Angela Wilcox
are on their way.
- Uh, why? - And you love your New York friends, right?
You just haven't seen them in, like-- in, like, years?
Yeah. We-- we fell out of touch.
Well, now you can fall back in.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
with this divine relish tray.
Go! Go! Hurry! Hurry! Look cute, okay.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
I just have to say, it's really nice
to be here with you.
But talking about literature with someone who cares.
Yeah, it's pretty easy to get distracted, huh?
I've been helping this friend out with a project.
And it's been more time-consuming than I thought.
Rewarding, but I'm worried I only signed on
to distract myself from the fact
that I wandered off my path a little bit.
Well, tell me about this path.
Before Constance, I wanted to be writer.
But my insecurities and fear of failure got the best of me.
And, uh, I've been wondering what would have happened
if I had just pushed through them
and now I have this opportunity to find out.
I've, um, I've submitted a story to The Paris Review.
That's really exciting. Well, when do you hear back?
No idea. But I won't let fear overtake me this time.
Uh, the call I ignored, it's this kid Simon.
He is...
different than anybody else that I've met
since I moved here.
More like me, the me I used to be, the me I was.
And not like Obie?
he might be my people. But how could he be?
Sure, we have similar interests, but where we're from,
h-- the way we were raised, how we see the world...
with someone you connect with.
Call him back.
Who doesn't want more friends? [CHUCKLES]
Thank you, Kate.
- Not so long, next time, okay? - KIKI: Yeah.
- I've missed you. - Oh, I know, I missed you, too.
Everything has just been so--
But I-- I should've called you back.
What a rollercoaster you've been on.
KIKI: Yeah. Bye.
- Bye. - Bye. [CHUCKLES]
- What is wrong with you? - ♪ [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
KIKI: Why would you do that to me?
What? Surround you with your friends?
I was emotionally waterboarded for the past three hours
between your father's affair and-- and bankruptcy and our divorce.
The last thing on this Earth, Audrey, that I wanna do
is relive that over and over and over again.
Can you hear how irrational you sound right now?
- Those are your friends. - Yeah.
I'm so, so, so sorry
- I tried to help you. - No. No. Don't you do that.
Don't you make this about me. This is about you.
- Because you don't wanna move. - You know what?
Maybe it was for me.
I'm the one who cooks, I'm the one who cleans,
I'm the one who makes sure that you're awake and alive.
No. I-- I gotta to lie down.
- I can't do this. - AUDREY: Oh, yeah.
You had no idea what I have been going through.
I am putting this apartment on the market and that is final.
Did dad say that was okay?
What does he have to do with any of this?
He owns half of it, right?
Maybe I should call him, ask him to buy out your share?
Audrey, p-- please.
Why? He actually cares about me.
He wouldn't pull me out of school
You can live wherever you want, Katherine,
but I am not going anywhere.
I would rather be alone than live with you any day.
- Fuck you! - [SCOFFS]
I hate you. I hate you!
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
[GRUNTS]
I can't thank you enough.
Hope we didn't pull you from anything.
over things beyond my control?
Zoya told me about The Paris Review.
She's excited for you, we both are.
Um, there's nothing to be excited about.
I'm honestly just hoping they can tell me
if I have a shred of talent or if I'm a crazy person
for thinking that I do.
Not that I'd be able to tell you,
but I'd love to read it.
You inspire my daughter. I like to see what inspires you.
- ♪ [MUSIC PLAYING] - Uh.
Sure. [LAUGHS] Um, why not?
- Uh, w-- what's your email? - Uh, here. I'll just...
I know what it's like to obsess over something alone.
You should have seen this single dad
[LAUGHS]
So, if you don't feel like obsessing alone tomorrow,
you're more than welcome to come here, distract yourself,
- hand out some candy. - [PHONE CHIMING]
- Oh. - [CHUCKLES]
♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
KATE: Sorry.
I have to go. There's, um, a-- a grading incident at school.
Goodnight. [CHUCKLES]
Goodnight.
- [CELL PHONE CHIMING] - GOSSIP GIRL: Halloween is the perfect time
for secret rendezvous.
But looks like Z forgot the most important part.
Her mask.
hiding in plain fright.
Something tells us this is going to cause
one monster of a scene between her and Noble O.
Hmm. Looks like Z should be playing Jay-Z instead.
JULIEN: He's just her friend.
Mm-hmm. Cool. So, uh, give me your phone.
- You're gonna like this post. - JULIEN: What?
Hell no. I've never liked a Gossip Girl post.
I'm not gonna start now.
If you want people to believe that you and Z are close,
then you need to show them that you support her,
- no matter what or where. - ♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Wait, what happened? Where did it go?
- Interesting. - You're good.
Someone probably dropped it.
I wonder what Gossip Girl is up to though.
♪ ["CHAISE LONGUE" BY WET LEG PLAYING] ♪
- Do I look all right? - Are we going in?
LUNA: You can't go in without Obie.
he can at least be the man between you.
That meta commentary will best Pippa and Bianca
once and for all. I'll find him.
[SIGHS] What do you think about GG going dark?
Do you think it had to do with that gun thing?
Everyone's talking about it.
Whatever it was, I'm just glad it happened when it did.
Do you think Obie saw that photo?
No. I'm sure he didn't.
- Right, Monet? - Hmm? Yes. Sorry.
I was just trying to see how old Catherine Zeta-Jones really is.
- What's up? - Found, uh, whatever this is.
I'm Sinatra.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm good. Yeah.
Should I not be?
- What's the plan? - Okay. So give me your coats.
There's a photo stop just past the lobby,
that's where it all happens. And you know what,
JC, you're gonna win this one,
because no one's costumes are better than these.
♪ [MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Wait. Is that...
What is happening?
MONET: Oh, my God.
Someone must've followed me to Mood
[APPLAUDING]
Oh, my God. Pippa and Bianca, stunning.
We thought about doing something basic
like famous sisters, but decided a metamorphosis was best.
What bigger New York icons were there
- than Serena and Blair? - She means Blair and Serena.
Not only were we Gossip Girl's biggest story today,
we even killed her. RIP, bitch.
So not only is she history, but now we are also her history.
Best frenemies forever. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, my God. The Twitter gays are already on this.
They're gonna win the Hulaween again.
Move. Don't let anyone see you.
- Go. - Go.
[CROWD APPLAUDING, CHEERING]
SINGER: Come on, y'all. Y'all ready to party?
[VOCALIZING]
[SINGING] ♪ I put a spell on you
♪ Because you're mine Mine, mine, mine ♪
♪ You better stop The things you do ♪
♪ You know, I ain't lyin' No, no, no, no, no ♪
♪ I can't stand it
♪ 'Cause you've been Runnin' 'round ♪
♪ You know better I just can't stand it ♪
♪ 'Cause you put me down I put a spell on you ♪
AUDREY: I don't wanna leave. And I don't know what to do
- and I'm just-- - I'll be right back.
Please hurry because whoever is dressed as Bruce Willis
has been giving me the eye for a half hour.
That is Bruce Willis. Hurry faster.
Instead of following my dick appointments around town,
why do you not get one of your own
or is that against her rules?
But after talking to Rafa, I realize he's just bad.
You know I'm on top, right? Nagging does not turn me on.
He's not a good guy, Max.
Whatever you think, you don't know what I've seen.
At least not yet.
- I care about you. - MAX: Rafa cares about me, dude.
You know nothing about him.
He-- he's had a hard life. His family disowned him,
he's got no one and I wanna fill that void, okay?
Now, if you don't mind.
[SINGING] ♪ I could have sold you, hey
AUDREY: There you are. Did you see...
- Okay, she saw. - JULIEN: Can you believe it?
Pippa and Bianca disparaging our costumes.
- Somebody told them. - What are we gonna do?
Guys, it's just a party, all right?
They're just clothes.
- this gets written about. - For years.
If you can't beat them, destroy them.
Drive-by trip-splash or full out "“Carrie?"”
You've got to be kidding.
Their photos already on Harper's,
and if Gossip Girl were active, it would be there too.
I have an idea.
- Excuse me? - What? What-- What's happening?
- Do you trust me? - I used to.
Can you help me with this?
that I might be leaving all of this very soon.
But I guess that can wait.
I need his clothes too.
I guess this was bound to happen eventually.
I just assumed it would be behind a paywall.
Hey, oh, no. Keep that on.
Are you gonna clue us on the plan at some point, JC?
No.
There are spies everywhere.
[SINGER SCAT SINGING]
They're next in line. Hurry. Go.
JULIEN: Go. Go. Go.
- ZOYA: Our wives. - Ladies.
with P and B since last year and the pictures complete.
I'm Dan Humphrey and...
I'm Chuck Bass.
What's gotten into you?
So, fine, they won't win, but look at how cute they are.
Cute doesn't get you on the cover of Vogue.
You'd be lucky if he got you on PopSugar.
BIANCA: Why are you basic-bombing us?
You turned our frenemies into common couples.
JULIEN: Haven't you ever heard of sisterhood?
If one of us goes down, we all go down together.
But why are you mad?
They would have been nowhere before.
Then maybe they deserve to be.
- [CROWD CHEERING] - ♪ [MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
Um, can I meet you inside?
Hey. [LAUGHS] You keep popping up where I least expect you to.
Well, I volunteer for the New York Restoration Project.
So, technically, I am working.
Well, um, I don't know if you heard,
but we crashed Gossip Girl.
Yeah. She posted a pic of us from yesterday
and it broke the internet. She's gone.
I admit, uh, you got me curious. I-- I looked into her but...
what do you think it is that she's actually trying
to do?
that you weren't interested in her,
and yet you keep bringing her up.
Must be something about it that you find interesting.
Did you know Mr. Caparros's cousins
have a winery in Argentina?
- I did not. No. - Yeah. He told my mom about it
last year at the St. Jude's fundraiser.
- Okay. - She bought a case to be kind.
The wine tastes like shit, but the website's actually nice.
OBIE BERGMANN: Hmm.
Why does it feel so good exposing the truth about people?
[EXHALES HEAVILY] It does, doesn't it?
♪ [MUSIC PLAYING]
[MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO]
Hey! You found it.
You gave me the address, and I have a phone.
Right. Welcome.
Um, this place has a great happy hour.
It goes until 8:00. I come in here like every night.
[CHUCKLES] Everything on draft is half price for Halloween.
And I remember you saying you don't like hops.
So, I was thinking maybe the pilsner?
- It's a microbrew from Vermont. - Uh, I'm good with water.
- They also have wine. - I'm sorry.
I'm confused. I thought we were meeting
to talk about the future of Gossip Girl.
I'm sorry if I gave that impression.
Right. Well... [CLEARS THROAT] ...uh, sure. Gossip Girl.
You want it over, it's over.
But if it is, I want to talk about what might take its place.
You-- you're not angry that I shut it down?
I didn't agree to go on this journey with you
because I thought it was a great idea.
I did it because I like spending time with you
and I was thinking maybe we can--
Yeah. I...
I get it.
Um, Jordan, you are so sweet.
- in my life, maybe the only one. - [LAUGHS]
You need more people in your life.
anyone else by my side these last few months.
- But the timing-- - Right. Of course.
The-- the timing.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] I should go.
That's cool. You need any help?
- I think we can handle it. - [LAUGHS]
Kate, I don't want Gossip Girl to be done.
I've grown to like it.
Makes people talk face to face.
It forces conversations that would never be had,
even this one.
What you've done, it isn't just important,
it's vital.
Paris Review be damned.
I-- I really have to go. [CHUCKLES]
JULIEN: [ON PHONE] Hey. Why're you calling?
She confirmed my worst fear.
The call came from inside the house.
- Meet me at the balcony. - ♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Sorry to interrupt.
- A photo from last year. - [RAFA SCOFFING]
Look at that, photos of the family reunion
my cousins invited me to.
My parents didn't speak one word to me
and made a big show of leaving shortly after I arrived.
Thanks for that memory.
Max, do you wanna dance?
but I'll take my chances with you.
LUNA: Monet de Haan, I knew how low you could go,
- but this is even further. - I only stoop to conquer.
And I would've if you hadn't interfered.
- Interfered? You sold us out. - You sold yourself out
when you got mired in your sister's shit.
Pippa and Bianca are laser-focused on their futures.
They're willing to do whatever it takes.
And they listen to their advisers,
which now includes me.
They don't even go to our school.
The world is bigger than Constance, Julien.
- I thought you were my friend. - I thought you were mine too.
Which is why I put in all of these hours to make sure
that you are the best.
But when you abandoned all of that
to waste your power and your time
with that buffaloco without even thinking
about how it would affect other people,
I was done. After years of doing your dirty work,
you can't just decide that you're clean
all of a sudden.
Luna may not care, but this--
I already have an agent at LGA, so.
But this is my future.
If you can't roll with your clients
as they change and grow, what future will be there?
I don't wanna do things the way that we've always done it.
I wanna be better.
Good luck to you too. I wish you the best.
[SIGHS] Where is Audrey?
She wanted to talk, I shouldn't have ignored her.
Ms. Yuki?
Obie Bergmann.
We met last year at my mother's cover shoot.
Of course. Nice seeing you, Obie.
- Yeah. Nice to see you. - You can call me Nelly.
Oh, all right.
- I'm a Soprano, yeah. - [CHUCKLING]
- You? - Eva Chen.
- [LAUGHS] - I thought it'd be fun.
Uh, my mom is stuck in Hamburg,
and she was so fond of the profile,
she just thought it'd be a nice gesture.
She's a huge fan of everything you've done for the magazine.
- Oh, of course. Thank you. [CHUCKLES] - OBIE: Yeah.
And one of my teachers was even fired
for submitting to her.
- That was crazy. - Yeah.
Well, that-- that is pretty crazy.
Uh, you know, I-- I wonder...
you could be Gossip Girl?
Me?
- Why? - You're a student,
just like Dan Humphrey was.
You can nail the voice, not to mention the literary references.
And...
Gossip Girl was resurrected right when you arrived
- and not a moment sooner. - I...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that.
Um, you wouldn't want to go get some fresh air real quick?
There's-- there's actually a killer 99-cent pizza place
- down the block. This is-- - Oh, Zoya, there you are.
I would like to introduce you to my friend.
- Simon? - Ms. Yuki.
- You know her? - Of course he knows me.
I'm his boss.
Are you Chuck Bass?
Obie, what's this about?
Simon Rivera is not a student anywhere.
Simon Ravetch is a researcher for New York Magazine.
Isn't that right, Mr. Ravetch?
I'll get us our table cards.
- Victor. - So, you called him after all?
I don't know what you're talking about.
The masked man you were grinding on in there.
That's Rafa Caparros.
I would know those freckles anywhere.
I used to trace them with my tongue.
- He still likes them young. - Still?
We fucked when I was a senior.
I hope he'd grown out of that. I-- I guess not.
But has he taken you to his parents' house
in Patagonia?
So that's when you know you're really in.
You've been impersonating a student
because of Gossip Girl?
all right? I began to think that a Constance student...
this student was following in Dan Humphrey's footsteps.
This is better than I thought.
- Obie, how did you even-- - OBIE: Oh, well, my-- my parents
leased Dumbo Hall, the building it's in,
so we're founding members.
a guest of Ben Peryer from Condé Nast,
so I called him.
And he said that-- that Simon Ravetch
is actually a friend of a friend who wanted to check the space out.
That he had his eye on the front door the entire time
as if he were, and I quote, "Looking for someone."
Me.
Ben told me about how you worked at New York.
LinkedIn said you were a researcher, so.
- That's why you invited me here? - Yeah.
No story is worth one's reputation, Simon.
Maybe a couple months transcribing podcasts
for SB Nation will remind you of that.
This kind of drama is exactly what Gossip Girl wants.
If you stoop to her level, Mr. Bergmann,
you're no better than her.
Simon, let's go.
You knew and you didn't tell me.
You were excited to have a new friend, but...
you gotta be careful, Z. You have to be.
to get closer to people like us.
Sometimes I feel like you don't get that.
And other times, I worry you get it too much.
That I'm just charity, another box for you
to check in your performative solidarity.
No, you are my girlfriend, and I don't--
I just wish that you would act like that sometimes.
What-- what is going on with us right now?
♪ ["HALLOWEEN" BY PHOEBE BRIDGERS PLAYING] ♪
- Hey, hey. - AKI: Are you drunk?
I thought I was supposed to be Greta.
I'm here all night all alone with no-- no friends, no family,
no boyfriend. What am I supposed to do?
Audge, get a hold of yourself.
You're acting like your mom at your fundraiser.
You know what, I know why.
Because she wanted attention from the people
that loved her most.
And I didn't give it to her.
I know everything sucks, and it's confusing.
I'm confused about everything, too.
I'm changing, we're changing, and we can't stop that.
But we can work on how we react to those changes.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
We can do better, me, you, your mom--
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
It's my mom.
As if she knew. [CHUCKLES]
- a little bit better. - Yeah.
Hey, mom, I wanna say I'm sorry that--
DR. GIBSON: [ON PHONE] Um, no. This is Dr. Gibson.
I'm calling from the emergency room at NewYork-Pres.
- What? - So you're a liar.
Well, I only lied about my parents
They were all legal. Like you.
That's not the point.
Is this what you do? A new student every year?
Not every year.
- And you chased me. - Hmm.
Or did you forget? This is still fun, Max.
When did you get so moral all of a sudden?
ZOYA: Wait, Julien.
- JULIEN: I don't know. - ZOYA: Come on.
They don't care about you.
If they don't, it's only because I made it that way.
- Hey. - Let go of me!
♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Here you are. All right. Goodnight.
I think a Kit-Kat melted.
Hey, thanks again for helping out.
I needed it. It was great to take
my mind off things for a couple of hours.
Not to put your mind back on things,
I loved your story.
- You did? - I did.
It was darker than I expected, but evocative.
I can see why Zoya looks up to you.
You're not only inspiring, you're talented, too.
Thanks.
I-- It's like I hear you say that,
and it's so nice, but...
I wonder if I've been obsessing over the wrong things.
I wanted to be a writer because I wanted
to make a difference in the world, but...
what if what I've been doing
makes a bigger difference than my writing ever could?
You mean teaching?
- Can I use your restroom? - Of course, yeah.
- It's just down the hall. - KATE: Hmm.
GOSSIP GIRL: You thought I went somewhere?
Well, I'm back. And better than ever.
Yes, maybe I'd begun to wonder
if I was abusing my considerable power,
when I realized you're the ones who do that, not me.
I'm not your parent, your teacher, or your friend.
I show you your bad parents,
your absent teachers, your errant friends.
But if there's one thing this moment of reflection
showed me, it's that this isn't a place for you to speak.
I'm turning off the comments from now on.
Mine is the only voice you need to listen to anyway,
because if you were kinder to one another, more honest,
if you had the hard face-to-face conversations,
you wouldn't need me. But you don't.
You bring a gun to school. You sneak out on your boyfriend.
You hide behind your phones.
So keep your masks on all year
-if you want to. - [CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
But know I'll be here keeping count,
keeping you in check,
reflecting what you refuse to see is right in front of you.
Hey, Nick, are-- are you hungry? Uh, I know a good diner nearby.
JULIEN: Everything Gossip Girl's ever posted, it's all gone.
What does that mean?
- MAX: Clean slate. - God, I hope so.
- Ms. Hope. - ♪ [MUSIC PLAYING]
Your mom's gonna be okay.
She's awake but groggy.
[SIGHS]
- Thank you so much, Doctor. - I should warn you though.
It's gonna be a very long and hard road to recovery.
♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
I understand.
I'm not going anywhere.
♪ [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ [MUSIC CONCLUDES]