♪ ["PSYCHO HOLE" BY ASHWARYA PLAYING] ♪
Good morning, followers.
In New York, Thanksgiving is more
than a day to plan seating charts,
triple check thatNew York Times recipe,
and brace for family arguments.
♪ Where am I goin'? It's dark and it's cold here ♪
♪ I can hear the voices pleadin' For my permission ♪
♪ I'm tryin' to hold on...
Thanksgiving is also the favorite holiday
-of yours truly.
It's a time to be grateful for what matters.
And this year, I'm most grateful for you.
For your secrets, your lies,
and all the tips you've given me.
So try to enjoy the tryptophan and relax.
It's all set. Prep all morning, visit Grandma, dinner at 5:00,
then It's a Wonderful Life.
So, who are you inviting? Julien and Davis?
- Obie? - How about no one?
What? We have to keep this Friendsgiving alive.
An open door is an open heart.
And that looks better on a pillow
than it sounds out loud.
I'm just-- I'm not feeling very festive.
And Obie has plans already, I'm sure.
They don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Germany.
Dad, can't it just be us this year?
You usually love a table full of people.
What's going on?
But don't relax too much.
- Love you, Dad. - You, too.
Because no matter where you might be celebrating,
I'll always have a seat at the table.
There you are. Here I am.
And here I go. Wait. No breakfast?
I'm meeting someone before class.
I wanted to talk to you about something.
- It's important. - I'm already late.
♪ Fallin' down the psycho hole I'm fallin', crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, yeah I'm just goin' so crazy ♪
The important thing is to keep her life
as stress-free as possible as she transitions back to home.
I have prepared the house just like you said.
It's gonna be an intimate holiday
just for the two of us.
I know it's been a long road.
I hope you've had someone taking care of you during this time.
♪ Me
♪ Can you focus on...
A few. Thanks, Doctor.
♪ Akeno.
Sorry. What were you saying?
Your father said he left a message.
You haven't called back.
Uh, he didn't say to. He just said,
"I know-- I hope you understand
that I will always support you, blah, blah, blah,
stay away from hooligans."
Hooligans? Who is he, Clint Eastwood?
He loves you. And he wants you to be happy.
Yeah, especially if it's good for business.
Yeah. What he did was unfortunate,
but he's still your father.
You don't have to agree with him,
but you still have to talk to him.
And if you ever wanna talk to me...
- I'm good. - Yeah, you're...
Um...
You-- you're good. You're good.
♪ Baby, can--
♪
What's on the phone?
Nothing, surprisingly.
Don't start. I am great.
I haven't slept this well in years.
I have twice as much closet space,
no denim in my eyeline,
and I don't have to Dyson up the dusting of potting soil
that Pops left behind every day.
I am out of a decades-long cable knit-mare,
and it's fantastic.
Well, you look like a guest at Canyon Ranch,
you haven't done your hair in a week,
and you canceled Thanksgiving.
You think I wanted to cancel?
It's not my fault things changed.
Look, we'll make it great. We'll order from Il Buco,
put on a Merchant Ivory, double mask.
Our own Canyon Ranch. The queer father-son one.
The abandoned queer father-son one.
You see, this is why I can't make myself up.
I'm gonna look like Chelsea Handler.
- Wait. Do you smell that? - Claridge'’s and Ruinart?
Baccarat Rouge 540.
But the only person I know who wears that is...
Up, on the left.
Oh! That's it. Be careful with those.
Yes, ma'am. - Saskia.
Oh!
You look more like me every day, mon fils.
And so do you, my love.
- Bless you. - Darling?
Guest room's on four.
- Yeah, just up through there. - You can just leave it, it's fine.
- That's it. - What are you doing here?
I thought you were doing that Mike Leigh?
No, that got intense. Yeah. So, he rents me this tiny flat,
makes me live in it so I can get into character,
then I find out there is no movie
and he is just into me.
Can you imagine?
He's old enough to be my first boyfriend, darling.
Oh. Oh!
This is Michael Caine, your new baby brother.
Careful, he pees when he's excited.
He's just like me when I was pregnant with you.
Do you remember? I was pissing everywhere.
You know I love a Saskia surprise...
Giddy, you invited me.
But then I left you a voicemail.
Darling, the only people who leave voicemails
are assistants and David O. Russell.
And I'm keeping those in case I'm ever deposed.
Also, this-- oh, this. Yeah.
There was an actual stampede at the Chiltern
when I met Paul Mescal. Or I should say, Paul Mescaline.
That man's beauty, literally hallucinogenic.
Oh, I do hope I've arrived in time to help supervise.
Where's Roy-Roy?
I've got these illicit photos of Jude and Phillipa's garden he asked for.
Darling, have you come from a spin class
- or-- - Roy...
moved out.
What? No!
Oh, darling, you must tell me all about it right now.
Also, please let's use my cream rinse.
It's from Hershesons. This is just...
Anybody could see us here.
It's Le Pain. We're good.
This close to school?
We're having breakfast together, Obie. Big deal.
- We're friends. - No, friends do not do
what we did, all right? I don't--
I've felt sick all weekend.
So have I. She hasn't messaged me back.
Yeah, no. She hasn't been answering my calls.
We're terrible people.
We're not.
Sometimes good people do bad things and don't realize
until it's too late. And now they have to pretend
that those bad things never happened.
I mean, you think maybe that she can, you know, that--
that she'll understand?
I can't lose her, Obie.
What happened was just a moment. That's it.
It wasn't real. It's just an echo.
I should've-- I should have never...
We...
should have never.
What are we gonna do when we-- when we see her? I mean--
We looked for her. We couldn't find her.
We tried to contact her all weekend.
But we should keep our distance, starting now.
I'll take Fifth. You take Madison.
Why did Dan Humphrey always give himself Thanksgiving off?
It's one of the juiciest days of the year.
A, don't ever say "juicy" again, and B, he probably went insane
writing all those posts about himself.
This thing is all-consuming, and I barely do anything.
Which is why I never take days off, especially now.
You can refresh it all you want.
Once media's deleted, it's gone.
- But does he know we saw it? - We share the account.
There's no way he'd know who saw it,
- unless you told him you did. - Well, we should tell someone.
He slept with a student. That's--
Morally reprehensible, yes, but not illegal.
Max is 17. I checked. It's the age of consent.
But Rafa would still get fired.
It definitely crosses a line,
but there's more of an age difference between you and Nick Lott.
Max Wolfe sent us that video.
He wanted Gossip Girl to post it.
I mean, for all we know, Rafa ghosted him
- and it's revenge porn. - I miss revenge porn.
We need to find out if Rafa knows we know.
And if he doesn't, we need to decide
- what to do about it. - Nothing. We have no proof.
Your hair, it's cool.
Thanks. I am trying something new.
- Uh, as are you, apparently? - New things can be cool, right?
Yeah, but, um, they can also be weird.
- Are you talking about-- - What? No. Why? Are you?
- You are. - Buongiorno, amanti.
I was wondering when I was gonna see you both again.
- Why are you so happy? - Well, my birth mom,
she is in town helping my dad feel better,
which allowed me to remember
how we all made each other feel better.
What have you guys been up to, huh?
I've just been at the hospital all weekend, and...
Full Tarkovsky MO, me.
Wait, you haven't seen each other?
I think we saw enough of each other that night.
Oh, okay. I-- I see what's happening.
Okay. Well, look.
Side effects of having your first threesome
may include feelings of regret or shame, or...
the intense desire to wanna do it all over again.
That-- that one's me.
I think I'm gonna be late for Mandarin.
Hey.
I've dealt with this before, okay?
You have each witnessed your partner with someone else.
The weirdness is understandable. But it is important
that you guys go and fuck each other...
...as soon as possible
to reclaim that connection, okay?
The first sex after a threesome,
it is-- it's-- it's indescribable. Okay?
So I suggest that you skip out first period,
and then slip into me third?
I mean, I'd be into it. I just keep thinking
about that time you guys kind of left me out.
I keep seeing that time that you two were very much in.
- I'll see you at lunch. - Uh...
Hey, man. Did you get my text?
Uh, yeah. I was... I was busy with, um...
- You okay? - Yeah, I'm-- Yeah, I'm all good.
Well, are we still on for tomorrow?
Our annual anti-Thanksgiving?
Me, you, and Jodi for a double feature
- at Film Forum? - I got-- I have plans.
Is everything okay? Like, you can tell me.
Yeah, well, you can tell me anything too,
but it doesn't mean that you do.
Is this about me?
Look, I-- I gotta go, man. Obie!
Hey, Z.
Julien should hear this too. Jules!
Hi.
So, I'm guessing you both know what this is about?
Uh...
Thanksgiving. My dad was hoping you'd join us.
- Who? - Both of you.
I assume you usually spend it together,
and now that we're all cool,
I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.
In Buffalo, we had an open-door policy,
so I'm gonna invite everyone.
- Uh... - That is so nice,
but um, my dad and I have this stay-at-home tradition,
so I wouldn't want to disappoint him.
- And-- and you and Aki just hang out. - Yeah.
- They don't like to celebrate, so... - Yeah. We commemorate the, uh,
the National Day of Mourning, actually, so...
With Russ & Daughters and a Marvel movie?
Really glad to see you, though. I tried you all weekend.
Um, I know. Um...
I don't know. I just thought maybe...
Thought what? I mean, I-- I wanted to see you.
I missed you.
Maybe we can hang out after school and, uh,
make up for lost time.
- Yes, please. - All right.
Why do I do this to myself?
Do what? Give me a hint.
Is it the shoes? Is it the clothes?
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding. - Ha, ha, ha.
I don't know. I've just been letting my mind play tricks on me.
You shouldn't. It's never what you think it is.
- You're probably right. - Lunch later?
- Sounds good. - Okay.
Ms. Keller!
Hi. What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Um, my dad and I do this thing where we invite everybody
who has no place to go. It's pretty amazing.
It usually turns into a little salon, and--
That's super kind, but, um, have you run it by your dad?
Yeah. It was his idea.
Inviting me specifically? Mm-hmm.
While I appreciate the offer, I do have plans. Thanks, though.
Hey, Z. What's wrong?
I'm just trying to scrounge up some people for Thanksgiving.
So far no takers. I'd invite you,
but I know you have plans with Obie.
Well, apparently not this year.
Yeah. It confused me too.
Thanks for the invite.
You definitely are never getting recruited for Quantico.
This is a teacher's lounge. We're all teachers.
And we're gonna stay that way.
- I know you saw it. - Saw what?
- You know what "it" is. - That deepfake?
- It's real. - I knew it was real.
Also, what's your workout plan? 'Cause--
- A student? How could you? - I know it was wrong, okay?
He pursued me. He followed me after work.
I tried to hold off. I did.
You expect us to believe a student was the aggressor here?
We-- we are talking about Max.
I don't have to explain myself to you.
You're a teacher. You're supposed to know better.
And even if you deleted it, that video still exists.
It's only a matter of time before he shows it
to someone else. He already DMed
asking why we haven't posted it.
He's not gonna show it to anyone else.
- And neither are you. - You don't call the shots here.
On the contrary, I changed the password
and logged you out the minute you walked in this room.
- What the fuck are you-- - Doing? Protecting myself.
I made a mistake, but I can't lose
my entire career because of it. I didn't take advantage of him.
I didn't abuse my position of power.
It wasn't even illegal.
But it will still destroy me.
You can't keep this from us forever.
Do you think I'm interested in your shitty teen tabloid?
I'm holding it ransom.
I figure three months of digging through people's trash
has made you pretty good detectives.
Excavate whatever you can on Max
so that if he ever tries anything again...
- I can take him out first. - But it's Thanksgiving.
And when you bring me what you find,
I'll prove how thankful I am
by giving you back what you want.
And in the meantime...
- ...I got you covered, baby. - ♪
Damn. He's good.
Holiday update from yours truly.
Here to serve a second helping
of something you can be grateful for.
In the tradition of my predecessor,
I've decided to take the day off
and give thanks of my own.
Nothing scandalous ever happens over the holidays anyway, right?
So hold those you love close,
and be grateful for what you have.
Because without me to guide you, who knows what'll happen?
♪
Okay, I feel like I'm going crazy, so I'm gonna give you one chance
- to tell me the truth. - The truth?
I didn't forget what you said at the protest.
- You're still in love with Obie. - And he chose you.
We were together a long time, so, okay,
it's taking me a little while to get over it completely,
but I will.
Because I want what's best for him and you.
Then how come it always feels like you guys
are having private conversations whenever I show up?
Those conversations are about you.
The truth?
Obie feels like you've been pulling away from him.
Yeah. That's why he's been acting so weird, and he just--
he doesn't know how you feel about him anymore.
- Really? - Really.
You know him. Whenever he feels unsure about something,
he just completely shuts down.
Major character flaw. But if you still feel about him
the way that I think that you do, just reassure him
that everything's okay on your end.
Trust me.
Okay. Um...
God, I-- I hate being mad at you.
I hate it too. It's terrifying.
- I'll see you later. - Okay.
- You slept with Obie. - I did no such thing.
You just sent her right back to him.
- I don't wanna hurt her. - You'd rather hurt yourself?
You never stopped loving him, J. And if there is a chance
- for you two to-- - No. I can't handle this.
I have been so nervous
that Gossip Girl was gonna find out,
that when she said she was taking a day off,
I breathed a literal sigh of relief out loud.
Okay. I need the tea, Julien.
No. No, you don't.
Obie and Z are staying together, I'm staying solo,
- and you, you're staying silent. - Okay.
Well, if you really don't want him back, then...
you're the one who always says that they're a better fit,
so make them fit again.
If that's what you really want.
It's what I really want.
Now, for what I want.
Why do you keep on looking at me like that?
It's either eye contact with you or Jesus,
and He does not seem into this.
Just close your eyes, babe.
Ow! Okay. Look. Look.
Let's just try it like this. You like it like this, right?
Right? Come on. Come on.
Okay. You're not-- you're not hard, babe.
I just keep thinking about when you were doing that thing,
and I was over there.
I just keep on thinking about when you were doing that thing
and I was under there, okay?
Like, I've never seen your face like that before.
'Cause your eyes were closed.
Well, I couldn't close them then, could I?
Max said we had to do this.
Well, then he should tell us how.
The whole point is that we're supposed to do it alone
before we can do it with him again.
So let's just suck it up and get it over with,
so we can both get what we want.
We were not supposed to do that.
You texted me.
We needed intervention.
We gotta clean that up before stained glass
takes on a whole new meaning.
This is not fair.
I feel icky looking at him
without you in the frame as well.
Consider me cropped out then, okay?
If you will not voluntarily heed my advice,
then I am just gonna have to enforce it.
You're gonna celebrate away from each other,
then you're gonna get a hotel room,
you're gonna lock the door,
you're gonna remember what I did to each of you,
and then you're gonna get at it.
Only then can you call me back.
♪
Obie!
Obie. Don't worry, it's fine. I just spoke to Zoya.
She's gonna tell you how she feels about you.
So, you tell her how you feel too.
I don't know how I feel. That's--
- that's the problem. - You care about her, don't you?
Yeah. Of course I care about her,
- but I-- I care about you more-- - Obie, if...
we are going to stay friends,
please do not finish that sentence.
Just tell Z what she needs to hear,
and everything can go back to the way that it was.
Okay?
Please. Do it for me.
Obie.
Max Wolfe is trying to blow my house down.
If Gossip Girl doesn't give him what he wants,
he may try and get it elsewhere.
What can we do? School just ended.
We haven't even started to dig.
I'm gonna do what any good negotiator does.
Give you a clock.
I know I've promised a quiet Thanksgiving,
but a girl's work is never done.
And once you see what I'm bringing to dinner,
you'll be happy I didn't stay away for long.
Watch this space for just desserts.
What happens if we don't get you what you need by tomorrow night?
Well, Gossip's a girl of her word.
She has to post something juicy.
So I guess your identity will have to do.
Let the countdown begin.
How come he gets to say "juicy"?
You know, we're actually in the very center of the park.
And this-- this whole thing used to be underwater.
Part of that reservoir right there that--
Obie, you've been talking topography
for the last ten minutes.
I know that you're upset with me.
Just... Why did you lie to me about your plans with Aki?
He told me you canceled.
No. I-- I just didn't-- No.
I don't wanna see the movies that he wanted to see.
But that's it. I mean, I'm still going. I didn't--
I didn't lie. I wouldn't lie to you.
And I don't wanna lie to you either,
- so I'm gonna be totally honest, okay? - Okay. Go.
I know that you and Julien were--
Me and Julien what?
Have been together for a long time,
- and I can't compete with that. - Yeah.
But I also don't want to be a rebound.
So if you want to go back to her--
No. Of course I don't.
Then what's with us?
You're either distant and cold, or you're calling me ten times
like you're guilty about something.
No.
God, no, you have-- look, you've just-- you've--
you've totally misread this entire thing.
- I have? - Yeah. I...
I'd-- I-- I haven't...
You know, I don't-- I haven't known, how to, uh,
you know... I don't--
Obie, what do you feel about me, really?
Feel about you? I love you.
I, uh... what?
I just haven't known how to say it. I don't...
I love you, Zoya. I-- I haven't-- I...
I just told your father his Tillmans C-print
looks digital, so now he's occupied for a while
looking for the receipt.
But you're terribly flushed. Have you been for a run?
How's our operation going?
He's still upset, but I--
I did that thing that worked with Megs
where you slag off the other person so much,
they have absolutely no choice but to start defending them.
You know I got Wills and Harry talking again, right?
Darling, I should have fistfuls of Nobels
- for my Saskia Accords by now. - Mmm.
Oh!
There you are.
I thought you quit.
These aren't mine.
Okay. So now I've thawed the ice a bit,
we can let global warming do the rest.
But we need to engineer un petit piège des parents.
Well, they haven't been in the same room with each other
in over a month. Uh... When Dad thought he saw Pops
at Gourmet Garage, he fled...
...with the basket. So now we're not allowed back.
Oh, no. I know.
Darling, of course he can do that in public
'cause he doesn't know anyone. But put him somewhere
where he is forced to be on his best behavior...
Not possible. They book Thanksgiving a year in advance.
Darling, I was in Pericles at the Public with the maître d',
and he owes a favor
for something I'm not allowed to talk about till 2026.
So ask me then.
Jules, I just wanted to apologize.
- Apologize? For what? - You were right.
I was? Great. About what?
About Obie. He told me he loves me.
He what?
Yeah. In Central Park in front of all these people.
They even started clapping, which was sort of weird
but also amazing.
- He said he loved you? - Yeah. Like three times.
- And did you say it back? - Of course.
Oh... Are you still there? Did your phone die?
I'm here. It's just...
Obie can rush into things sometimes,
and I don't want you to think that everything between you
is suddenly better because--
A few hours ago, you were rooting for this.
You're the one who told me to be honest about my feelings.
You didn't think he'd return them.
No. That's not-- So you just wanna ruin
the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me
for no reason? I don't know what games you're playing,
but whatever it is, I'm tagging out.
Hey. Who was that on the phone?
Zoya. Dad, I know we always spend the night before together,
but I have to go.
♪ ["THIS IS ME TRYING" BY TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYING] ♪
I don't know what I expected. "Callow" is literally in her name.
Uh-oh. What happened now?
She's always looking out for her own interests,
playing games, manipulating people.
Whatever you said about Davis, she clearly inherited.
You were right. The Calloways are not our family.
♪ I've been having A hard time adjusting ♪
♪ I had the shiniest wheels Now they're rusting ♪
♪ I didn't know...
Jules, what are you doing here?
- You told her you loved her? - You told me to say that.
I didn't tell you to say that, Obie. Jesus.
Look, I care for her. I do, all right? But I don't--
Everything I've been doing, I've been doing
'cause I don't wanna ruin things for you, okay? I mean, I...
Look...
I would do anything...
to make you happy. Anything that you ask me,
because I love you, and I always have.
And you know that.
♪ I just wanted you to know That this is me trying ♪
♪ At least I'm trying
Just come upstairs, Julien. Please. Just come upstairs.
- Please. Julien. - I can't...
- Come upstairs. - I can't.
Julien.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
We're doing our best.
Please tell me your "best" isn't staking out
Max's house hoping to catch him doing something.
We have leads. Don't worry.
Oh, I have leads too. Too bad you can't post them.
Especially this.
When did you get that?
Last night. It's practically old news.
Will it be useless by the time you're back in charge,
or will it pale in comparison to what I write about you? XOXO.
We're not gonna find anything to take out Max Wolfe.
What hasn't he already done, and publicly?
Well, if we don't find dirt on him,
we have to find it on Rafa.
Unless we get a hold of that video ourselves.
How? Crash the Wolfe Thanksgiving
and steal Max's phone to blackmail Rafa
into giving Gossip Girl back?
Of course we're doing that.
I wrangled up some guests.
Oh. At least one of us has friends.
Chin up, kiddo. A full table means
double the mac and cheese.
- Care to shred? - Oh, Dad.
You know I'm the best cheddar shredder
in the tri-state area.
I'm glad you're in a better mood.
Yeah, well, I woke up today realizing
that I don't have to see Julien for five whole days, and...
Obie loves me.
Um... he will be here around 4:00.
Great. I'll set another place.
Jules Dassin at MoMA? - Seen 'em.
- The new Bi Gan? - Got a screener.
Muppets Take Manhattan?
Why did Obie cancel?
He made other plans.
Did something happen between you?
Akeno!
I think we're just...
growing apart from each other or something? I don't know.
Well, good friends grow together.
Things just have been weird since Dad did what he did.
Well, you think Obie doesn't accept you?
He's your best friend.
I didn't want to say anything
out of respect to your process...
but I want you to know I love you.
No matter if you're straight,
- or gay, or-- - I'm bisexual.
I love who you are without exception.
Your best friend should too.
Friendships are important. You need to talk to him.
Have you asked why he's pulled away?
I mean, if he's not hanging with us,
what is he doing?
Three's too many, don't you think?
- What? - The pies.
- You went a little overboard. - Oh. Yeah.
I had a lot of energy to burn. Um...
Plus, I have a lot to be grateful for today.
Aw.
We seem to be missing the knives.
Oh, um, I made sure that the turkey
was extra tender, so no blades necessary.
Oh, honey,
I'm not an infant.
You don't have to babyproof for me.
Okay, I threw out all the alcohol too.
Sweetie...
Come on, sit down.
Listen, I...
I so appreciate all the work that you've put into this,
but I just spent the last two weeks
in a hospital room. And....
now that I'm sitting here, I realize
I'd like to be in the world.
I would like to know
that there's more to life than a table for two.
- Even if it is impeccably set. - Of course. Um...
I think it's probably too late to get a res...
Yeah.
Unless...
Since when is eating Chinese in front of the TV
a black-tie affair?
Well, your father has decided to take us out, Julie.
Are you planning something?
No. And that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.
Okay. Well, what's the dress code?
I'm not really in a "see and be seen" kind of mood.
I can help you pick something out.
I've been dying to see your closet.
Okay.
Surprise! - ♪
Audrey? Katherine, what are you--
You didn't call?
It's not like we're interrupting a state dinner.
I mean, all they do is sit on the couch all day
playing Mario Kart and eating takeout.
Why are you, um, in a suit?
I'm sorry, okay?
Oh...
I bet they've got room where we're going.
That place is a literal fortress.
I'm not gonna be able to get in, let alone get his phone.
We don't need to get in. We just have to keep them out.
Eleven Madison Park. - Yes. Hi.
This is Gideon Wolfe's assistant, Jeff Cutler.
Mr. Wolfe and his party are no longer able to attend.
Can I put you on a brief hold?
How did she finagle a last-minute reservation?
We're not allowed to ask till 2026.
Dad, can we please go inside?
- Of course she's late. - Please.
I don't know. She probably had some errands to run, you know?
Oh, God, they're not supposed to be here.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This isn't some French farce.
We don't spring people's errant, uninvolved husbands
- on them at dinner. - Oh, Jesus.
Okay, okay, I had those photos for him,
then he tells me he's spending the day alone.
- His choice. - Looking at me
with those eyes of his, just welling with tears.
That-- that didn't happen.
Let's go, Max. No, no.
Yes. Yes. I know you can see them out front right now, but...
- Hang up. - ...you see, they have been invited to...
Uh, never mind. Bye.
No, Dad. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I told you, Saskia, it's a bad idea.
Darlings, darlings, darlings, darlings, darlings.
This is Thanksgiving, okay? I'm not even from here,
and I know what this holiday means.
No one's asking you to move back in together.
We're just asking you to be adults.
Put the differences aside for one night.
We're still a family.
- We were a family. - No, Dad...
Darling, no. I'm sorry. Oh, God.
- It's going to-- Oh, God. - Told you. See? It wouldn't work.
Absolutely ridiculous. Where'd they go?
I don't know. What are you doing?
- Darling, do you trust me? - Never.
Okay. Well, you won't mind what we're about to do.
- Oh, God. - Taxi! Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on. Quickly, quickly, quickly.
In you get, in you get.
Where are they going?
- Follow that cab! - Follow that cab!
Happy Thanksgiving.
These are your surprise guests?
We're here on your kind invitation, Zoya.
Mr. Lott, what a lovely, um...
what a lovely sweater.
- I hope we're not intruding... - Kiki, great to see you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, my God. Really?
Dad, if we hurry, we can still make
the 5:00 p.m. seating at Le Bernardin.
You made it.
Here I was thinking we were going to some private chef
home experience. Hi! You are. I'm the chef.
And I am handing in my notice.
Ooh, hot. Oh, that's a lot of pie.
Obie!
Okay, let's go in my room. No, um...
Hey. Hi.
You must be... Who must you be?
I'm Max Wolfe, Mr. Lott.
Hey. - Gideon, his father.
I'm so sorry. I thought we were invited.
Uh... The more the merrier. You're more than welcome.
So nice to meet you.
Gideon. - Oh!
- Oh, that upcycled cape! - Keeks, my love, you're out.
You shouldn't be here. We're not supposed to see you.
Believe it or not, this isn't actually about you.
Although I can tell by the tone of your voice,
you haven't dealt with your partner problems.
We're so sorry to show up like this.
- I'm Aki and this is my mom. - Why is he here?
- Hi, I'm Jodi. - Hi...
- everyone. - And these are our teachers.
Do we need more chairs? Oh, we're not staying.
- Where's Obie? - He's around here somewhere.
- Jodi. - Kiki!
What are you doing here? I asked you first.
Did you know Max was gonna be here?
Delightful.
Is this weird? Zoya invited me.
No. Please. Our door is open to all.
- I'm Nick. - Jordan Glassberg, computer science.
And I'm a lawyer.
- Coats? - Down the hall to the left.
Did you say you're taking coats?
Hey, perfect. Oh, one more.
Whiskey neat, right?
- Thanks, Mr. Glassberg. - You're welcome.
- Good memory. - And Jordan?
Be careful with this one.
Uh, I don't know what he drinks.
So, it's not serious.
Oh, we're not, um...
It's brand-new.
Gotcha. Well, I'm really glad you came.
Heads up!
Let me see about that drink.
I didn't know that most of these people
were going to... gonna be here today.
Yeah. It's been a weird day, um...
But I'm glad you're here. All I've wanted to do
is sneak away and hang out with you.
I was thinking maybe after, we could... hang at your place?
I asked my dad, and he said it was okay.
Hang there? Why, uh...
why would we do that?
Well, now that I know you feel how I do,
I thought maybe we could...
I mean, I'd like to...
with you.
- OMG. Sister, sister. - Just play along, okay?
On the count of three. One, two, three.
Oh, hello.
We have coats.
- Don't mind us. - Your moldings, they're just...
crown moldings, the best moldings.
- I'm gonna go see if your dad needs any help. - Yeah.
If I could just get right by you...
- Yeah. - If there's... Okay.
- She wants to have sex with him. - Doesn't half the school?
No. Tonight. For the first time ever.
We can't let her lose her virginity
to the guy who's cheating on her with her sister.
I can't believe I just said that sentence.
Update, you are not the guidance counselor at Sweet Valley High.
You are Gossip Girl. The whole point is to highlight
how these people use and abuse their power and privilege
to destroy people like...
You wanna keep your column? Don't get in the way of it.
We have a phone to find and a pile of coats to find it in.
Stop talking and start searching.
Hey! Show me a picture of your grandma.
She wants to sleep with me.
Of course she does. You told her you loved her.
I don't want to sleep with her, though.
Well, of course you don't. You shouldn't have told her you loved her.
Well, I-- Do you see why I'm confused right now?
Can you help me take the bird out of the oven?
- I think she's ready. - Yes, sir. Um...
Are we gonna have enough for the-- the ex--
all the extra guests?
- Luckily, there's a bunch of stuff. - Okay.
As long as no one else shows up.
Okay.
Should have seen that one coming.
Hey. - Hi.
Happy Thanksgiving.
It's Saskia Bates.
- Did you have me chipped? - Hey, both of you please, okay?
We're guests in someone else's home.
That's not true. Guests are welcome.
It's okay. I'll go. I wanted Max to have Thanksgiving
with both of us, but uh, I'll go.
No. You don't get
to be the mature one.
Darling, at least they're talking, yes?
- Yeah. You want a drink? - Yes. Yes, darling.
Hey. Uh... This is a nonsmoking household.
Darling, I'm sure the host won't mind.
Hi.
It's not here.
Probably because his phone is attached to his hand
like every other person in the world.
One of us has to sit next to him.
Dinner's just about ready.
- Sorry to interrupt. - You're not.
- We were just looking for, um... - My, um, my-- my...
inhaler.
Found it. Uh, I'm gonna go get us a seat.
M-- me a seat? Us a seat?
- He must know about you and me. - Exactly.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous.
But we can stay friends,
- I hope? - Of course. Friends for sure.
- You know what? I'm gonna go. - Of course you're staying.
Clearly, this is what our son wants,
and I'm not gonna hurt him any further.
You've done enough of that already.
Oh, what did you want me to do, Gideon? Keep lying to you?
'Cause we know how much you love that.
Jesus. I'm sorry if my feelings are complicated.
Complicated? Eating foie gras is complicated.
Separating the art from the artist is complicated.
Not wanting to fuck your husband isn't complicated.
It's pretty goddamn simple.
Well, he doesn't, or didn't, and I am oversimplifying
for dramatic effect, but it's...
What? Complicated?
Dinner's ready. - ♪
- Wow. - Wow.
Amazing.
This has got to be the most iconic Thanksgiving ever.
And you don't even know the very exciting reason why.
Ooh, keep us in suspense.
Oh, it's even crazier that you're here.
I didn't wanna be that fan, but I saw
your National Theatre Live Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and wept.
That was Sienna Miller, darling.
No, I'm sure that was you.
No.
What are you doing after this? I was thinking
maybe we could all watch a movie.
- I'm hanging with Obie. - Is that really what you want?
Or do you wanna spend some time with your family?
No. I want to spend time with my boyfriend, alone.
Obie, Aki has something he'd like to ask you.
About what? No, I don't.
Yes, he does.
Have you been avoiding him since you found out?
Since I found out what?
All right. This is a good time maybe for us to go.
No, darling. No. No. Don't be so rude.
Look, Mick has prepared this wonderful food.
- Who? - Mick.
No. It's Nick. Huh?
- It's N-- Nick. - I like Mick. It's earthier. Don't you think?
I just think maybe you aren't ready
to spend time with your boyfriend alone.
- I said it was okay. - Yeah, but maybe you shouldn't have.
- Julien. - I'm just looking out for you.
- You're too young. - Too young for what?
You have to admit you've been weird.
I have not.
So, you're saying you're cool with me?
Look, I would have preferred if you had told me yourself.
- I am telling you. - Okay. And I'm-- I'm fine with it.
What are you even still doing here?
If you wanna go, go. Leaving, very on brand for you.
What are you talking about? Yes. Please tell us.
Just maybe don't tell everyone.
Uh, I may have my faults, Gideon, but, uh,
your behavior hasn't helped.
My behavior? Yeah.
Because you've been such a stellar example for our son.
At least I know what he's up to.
Up to? He's not up to anything since you left us.
Oh, I'm talking about what's going on
with his teacher, okay?
Dad, Julien is just jealous of my relationship with Obie,
and so she's trying to sabotage it again.
I'm not trying to sabotage anything.
How about we talk about it tonight?
Our usual post-Thanksgiving sleepover?
- I have plans with Zoya. - No, you don't.
- Yes, he does. - Then, tomorrow?
Look, what are you... What are you doing, man?
I have no problem with you being...
- you know, being... - What?
- You can say it, can't you? - I can--
But the "too young" part?
- Dad, she's-- she's just lying. - Lying about what, Zoya?
It's Thanksgiving. Stop it, both of you, right now.
Stop Zoya from making a terrible mistake?
- Somebody has to. - Is that a dig at me?
You know what? We don't have to hang tonight
or tomorrow or ever.
Audrey and I are gonna be too busy
fucking Max again anyway. Akeno!
That's-- - Oh, God.
Can anyone trade seats with me?
- I will. - Wait, is that a joke?
Your teacher? You knew about this?
Rafa's only ten years older than me.
That's less age difference between you two.
Oh, yeah, but Pops was never my teacher.
Can we go back to the "too young" part?
You could have kept the "fucking" part out
in front of my mom, but, uh, I am very proud of you.
I have some follow-up questions, but I'm proud of you too.
I'm just really processing a lot of information.
If your mother could see both of you right now--
Stop using her to manipulate us.
For once, I agree with my sister.
This is the exact reason that Nick and I did this tonight.
Now, we've had it with the back and forth. It stops now.
- You don't get to-- - No more!
We're serious.
It took you guys 14 years to be in the same room together.
Stop acting like it was so easy for--
Oh, you have no idea how hard it was.
It still is. But we do it for you.
It's not Rafa's fault. It's mine.
I went after him. I pursued him.
He said we shouldn't, repeatedly,
but I wore him down.
And I'm not proud of it.
I feel pretty fucked up about it, actually.
I've wanted him to feel bad, but...
I don't know.
It wasn't his fault.
Not just his fault.
When you were born,
your mother and I were still legally married.
And I was so angry at her...
for leaving us. Angrier at him.
And when she got admitted to the hospital to have you,
I was the one who got the call.
I was her husband, after all.
And I didn't know that she was sick,
uh, that her pregnancy had been so risky.
All I knew was that this was my chance to hurt them both
for what they'd done to me.
So I went to the hospital
and I told them I was her husband...
Which he was.
...and to not to let anyone else in.
And they didn't.
But-- Not only did your father
not get to be there for your birth...
he never got to see your mother again.
- How could you? - Yeah, that's... that's...
You need to understand...
I would have done the same thing.
What?
I did a truly terrible thing,
and because of it, you girls never got to know each other.
- But if I can sit here now-- - If we can.
If we can sit here together as a family, then...
you two can get past whatever it is
that is going on between you. You're sisters.
Do not screw it up for another 15 years.
I lied.
I didn't just come back to get you two back together.
I was fired from the Mike Leigh movie.
Sorry, Gideon darling, I wasn't going to say anything,
but then, I don't know, I just did.
Aw.
Oh, bear.
Everyone gets fired sometimes.
But this was my second strike after that zoom Polanski.
You know? Everyone gave their fee to charity,
but I didn't get Gal's text till it was in the Daily Mail.
We're sorry. We're very sorry.
You know you're the only people I really love, and...
I just didn't want to be alone.
You three have always been so strong,
I thought you could get through everything. I...
darling, I need to believe that so that I can too.
Please.
Okay, fine.
I'll listen to it.
I know that I've been, uh, teasing for hours
about how tonight is special.
And I promised Davis I wouldn't say anything,
but, uh, in light of the truths that we're sharing...
we're engaged.
Oh, Jesus.
Why would my dad say to stay away from you?
Me? That's ridiculous.
He left a voicemail saying, "Stay away from Julien."
Did you do something?
No. She, uh, no. No, she didn't. Aki, why are you shit-stirring?
- Stop. - Listen to it yourself.
Must be better than clickbait to get on my dad's radar.
I forgot to mention.
Just for a little while, at least, stay away from Julien.
Holy shit. I know, right?
If you call me back, I'll talk you through it.
- You slept together. - What?
- Of course we didn't. - Aki, can I hear that?
You wanna hear my dad's voicemail?
Who is his dad? - Roger Menzies.
- Oh, that old billionaire? - We're divorced.
Did you or didn't you? No, we did not.
Zoya, of course we did not. No.
- Yes, we did. - No, we did... No, we did not.
Yes, we did.
It was a mistake, and it will never happen again.
I think you better leave.
Hey.
Okay.
Whoo! Excuse us.
What we sent is all we have.
It's all you needed. Check your IG.
I wanted revenge on him. A student.
A 17-year-old kid.
When you sent that, it became clear,
I needed him to want me
because when he did...
I didn't have to face what I was doing.
Thank you for sending the only video I needed.
I just got off the phone with the Burton. I quit.
You did? That's...
the exact thing that you should do.
And if I were you, I'd quit too.
What you're doing to those kids...
I read the DMs that came in all day.
Each one more vicious than the next.
They're turning against each other.
You're not making them better, Kate.
Be careful.
You've read enough to know this doesn't end well
for anyone...
especially you.
I'll be right back, okay?
I wanna make this very clear because I wanna make sure
that you really, truly hear me.
- Z-- - I could have handled
the first boy I've ever loved cheating on me.
But the fact that it was with you...
that you kept it a secret from me, lied to me?
There's no coming back from that.
We're not sisters.
We're not friends.
We're not even enemies.
We're nothing.
I am so sorry about tonight.
Why? That was like the best Thanksgiving I've ever had.
- Ever? - Yeah.
I have been so wrapped up in my own bullshit,
I completely forgot how messed up
other people's lives are. It's not just me.
- You have no idea. - Well...
- Okay. I'm gonna get us a Lyft. - I wanna walk.
- Okay. We can walk. - By myself.
Why?
It's been so long since I've felt free and hopeful
and full of possibility. You know what I mean?
- Yeah, I do. - Yeah. I know you do.
Mom, stop.
- I love you. - I love you so much.
Text me when you get home, okay?
Okay, Mom.
- I'm so sorry. - Whoa.
I thought-- Oh, my gosh.
- Are you okay? Here. - I'm...
Oh...
- Here. - Thank you.
I think I drank a-- a little too much.
I was just so afraid I would spill our secret.
No one applauded, or even said congratulations.
Saskia Bates didn't even wanna see the ring.
I'm pretty sure that Julien doesn't like me.
This is not what I thought being engaged would feel like.
I'm so...
sad.
Everyone was distracted.
I-- I'm sure Julien will come around and...
You know, I've wanted him to propose for so long,
but, like, did he propose because he loves me
or because he doesn't want me to testify against him?
♪ ["LOSING TRUE" BY THE ROCHES PLAYING] ♪
♪ I'm lo...
♪ Sing you
♪ Fa...
Mom, why'd you close the door?
You boys have a nice night.
♪ Aging and...
♪ Aching and...
You need to say something.
You need to post what Lola told you.
Jordan, I can't. It's too big. It's... it's not right.
But no one knows.
They shouldn't learn it from us.
You... Well, you have to give something.
Gossip Girl can't tease and not deliver.
Fine. I'll use the other thing. I didn't wanna it post before,
but I guess it doesn't matter now.
The damage is already done.
Traditions can't stay that way forever.
People leave. Places close. Things change.
But promises can be kept if you really want them to be.
And one I can make you?
I'll never leave you alone again.
What I can't promise? That I won't hurt you.
That I'll stop exposing your lies.
That I'll no longer hold your face to the glass
and force you to look at what you don't want to see.
I exist because you exist. I'm here because you made me.
You think this gives me pleasure?
I'd love nothing to expose.
I pray for no pain.
But we both know that's never going to happen.
The only way you're getting rid of me
is by getting rid of what makes you, you.
So go ahead. I dare you. Break tradition.
Change.
That's one secret I'd love to tell.
But until then,
I'll have to be thankful for what I get.
XOXO, Gossip Girl.