♪ ["WHAT'S THE POINT" BY EMPRESS OF PLAYS] ♪
♪ What's the point Of loving like this... ♪
GOSSIP GIRL: Sooner or later, we all go to war.
GOSSIP GIRL: And when that begins...
it's only natural for our defenses to go up.
Especially when we find ourselves under fire.
ZOYA LOTT: We said we wouldn't look!
♪ [MUSIC CONTINUES]
♪ There's some things That I never miss... ♪
I was just checking the weather.
If it was snowing, I would have to go back
to my dad's house and get a coat.
But... all clear.
Breakfast is ready.
GOSSIP GIRL: Dunno 'bout you,
but I love the smell of facepalm in the morning.
And what can you do
when the enemy has you backed into a corner?
GOSSIP GIRL: Call in support?
Rally the troops?
♪ [MUSIC CONTINUES]
Growing up, I wasn't even allowed to go to Alphabet City.
Now a 500 square foot apartment there
costs more than a whole house in Buffalo.
ZOYA: Why are you looking at three bedrooms?
She and I could just share.
The firm's already putting me on some bigger cases.
Many more billable hours.
We'll be fine.
I still can't believe we have to leave.
The building's gonna take photos at three.
Maybe stay at school a little later
and do your homework there?
Dad, that can't be who I think it is.
GOSSIP GIRL: But remember, there's nothing
quite like a sneak attack.
Here to set the record straight
about recent accusations is Davis Calloway,
with his fiancée Lola Morgan.
- Engaged again. Imagine that. - DAVIS CALLOWAY: Thank you.
LOLA MORGAN: During our relationship,
-he proved to be one of the most... - No, don't.
GOSSIP GIRL: Whatever your defensive strategy might be,
know that I'll be here to give the blow-by-blow.
-I know his heart like my own. - GOSSIP GIRL: Because at the end of the day,
it's kill or be cancelled.
The accuser is mistaken.
Davis, I notice that you've been quiet.
It's a change of pace for me, I know.
But really, I'm just trying to listen.
You know, everyone has their version of the truth.
The last thing that I wanna do
is prevent someone from speaking it.
I'm glad you said that, because there are rumors
that your own daughter
tried to stop an accuser from coming forward.
DAVIS: I heard about that,
but I know that whatever Julien is doing, however misguided,
that she's doing it in support of me.
I just want her to know, if she's watching, that I love her.
-And, uh, we're gonna make-- - [TV SHUTS OFF]
I can't believe he'd say that
after everything he's put you through.
There's no way anybody's gonna believe that, right?
Of course not.
- It's all right, Jules. - Yeah.
Well, if you guys can believe that, then so can I.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Couldn't we have met anywhere else?
The perfume in here is too expensive for my sinuses.
This is all my fault.
There is no way you could've known
how people would misinterpret what she was doing.
We don't even fully understand what she was doing.
We know it's not what she was being accused of.
I just wish I could end this whole thing once and for all.
You could come clean?
Or we could continue brainstorming
like we have for days.
- You're not helping. - How can I?
One shady move and I'll be out, too.
I may be useful as their tech guy,
but I'm a holdover from the last administration,
and you know how long those last.
Maybe we can get one of the others to turn?
- Sharon? Tati? - Sharon's QAnon,
and they both rolled over for Scott.
He does all the posts, full stop.
When he's done dismantling Julien,
there'll be nothing left.
Women don't get to rebuild the way men do.
Do you think he understands he's destroying her?
What he understands is that he has a captive audience,
and they're eating up what he's serving.
[SIGHS]
AUDREY HOPE: Hey, Mom! Is it okay if Julien's over a bunch this weekend?
Oh, of course. She's lucky to have you.
It's not easy to stand by someone
when they're going through something so hard.
Oh, it's just a temporary crisis.
Which is more than I can say
about whatever is happening in here.
Oh, it's the Equinox Hotels gig, remember?
An "athleisure garment" that can live on and off a treadmill?
Definitely screams, "running in place."
Look, I know that it's not fashion.
But it feels so good to be doing something creative,
and it really has me, like, just so excited.
Listen. What do you think of this?
Post-COVID chic jumpsuit caftan line.
"Self-Caress by Katharine Hope."
Oh. [NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
I think Kmart will love it.
KIKI HOPE: Ouch. Geez.
Wait. What is this coral dress?
Oh, that's something I scrapped.
Bold color. Chic contour.
Mom, if I were you, I would table this MumuLemon idea
and I would expend my energy here.
I thought so too. So I mocked one up. Look.
Look. Just doesn't sing to me.
AUDREY: Are you losing your hearing?
- This is a coloratura. - [CHUCKLES]
It's fast fashion that's actual fashion.
It is too specific, and relies on a consumer
that I don't have name recognition with.
It's better to go broad and get back on track.
What are you thinking for our post-game carb load?
Should I get our table at Lilia,
or are you in more of a Pierozek mood?
Uh, I actually think I might need a bit of a rain check.
'Cause I was thinking about checking in on Julien.
You know, maybe bring her some mochi donuts,
making sure she's doing all right.
- Just cheer her up. - Uh, okay.
All right, go ahead. Analyze me.
No, I think it's nice that you're being supportive.
I just hope she recognizes it.
Look, she's going through a lot, all right?
And that's what being a good friend means, right,
is you don't expect anything in return.
No, but are you doing this as a friend?
Everyone knows that you're still in love with her.
Even Zoya.
I just don't want you to get hurt.
I'm not-- I--
I won't, all right? I promise.
AUDREY: Jules!
- Hi, babe. You look great. - JULIEN CALLOWAY: Hi.
Thank you.
I thought you were gone for the rest of the week.
What was I doing there, anyway?
Jules?
Why is everyone so surprised?
I just-- I-- I thought you'd be gone longer.
No. The sooner she gets back out here,
the sooner everybody sees that nothing's different.
Things are different.
[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]
So, since you've been gone, there have been some changes.
Hiccups, just hiccups.
You can tell me the truth. It's fine.
Just rip off the band-aid.
That Reykjavik hotel that booked you for their Christmas party canceled,
and some brands have requested that you stop posting.
Dumbo Hall placed a hold on your membership,
citing security reasons.
Dirty Lemon discontinued your free monthly shipment.
JulienCallowayUpdates stopped posting.
- So that means... - You're being canceled.
Canceled? I didn't even do anything.
Which is what canceled people say,
so stop saying that.
It's just stage one. You are on life support.
- But you can turn it around. - How?
By making sure there's no new dirt for people to dig up.
I've already flagged 46 old posts
that feature you, your father, and other young women.
I say head off the haters and delete
before they're rediscovered and distributed with new context.
Do you really think this is gonna fix anything?
Well, people still wear Marchesa, don't they? Why?
Because Georgina Chapman never slipped past stage one.
To ensure you don't either,
it's time to go... [INHALES DEEPLY] ...local.
Act like you're fine.
Talk to anyone that recognizes you.
Hail cabs instead of waiting for Lyfts.
- The struggle is more relatable. - MONET DE HAAN: Also street eat.
And I don't mean Cha Cha Matcha or Juice Press,
like, full halal.
The goal here is Santa Monica Shawn and Camila barefoot stroll.
Dunkin Ben Affleck.
Borrow a dog and walk it or whatever.
A week of that, and you'll be back at stage zero.
- Can you believe she's back? - She should transfer.
What school would touch her?
STAFF MEMBER: Are you Zoya?
The headmistress would like to see you after school.
Thank you.
♪ [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
...tried to tell her-- [CHUCKLES]
- [WHISTLE BLOWS] - [CROWD CHEERING]
SCOTT KOVACS: Watch the screen. That's yours!
- So, no one's seen Max today? - He wasn't in Russian.
Or Comparative Race and Ethnicity.
He skips class now and then.
CONSTANCE COACH: Hustle!
- Yeah, but usually I know why. - Maybe you are why?
SCOTT: Come on, Isaiah! Let's go.
COACH: All right, here we go. Five up, five up, five up!
Let's go.
Oh...
AUDREY: Whoo!
What?
Maybe you should spend more time in practice
and less in protest, Berg.
- Let's go, Obes. - What did you say?
You too busy helping Ghislaine Calloway
get girls for her daddy?
- [WHISTLE BLOWS] - REFEREE: All right. Time. Time.
COACH: Bergmann, you're benched. Cool it off.
- OBIE BERGMANN: Are you fucking kidding me? - AKI MENZIES: He started it.
COACH: You wanna join him, Menzies?
You're point guard. Go check in, all right?
Come on, fellas. Come here. Come here.
Listen. Play your game. All right?
Have we been sleeping on Aki?
Yes, but from the look of those deep-set bags, not enough.
- [CROWD CHEERING] - [AUDREY CHUCKLES]
- Max would've loved that. - So call him. Get him here.
Hey, he probably feels sidelined by how much of your attention
- I've been needing lately. - You have.
Hey, my boyfriend is having a moment
and you're missing it. Where are you?
MAX WOLFE: Well, I went to the club to play racquetball,
but then I ended up in Ridgewood at a club.
- You good? - ♪ [CARTOON MUSIC PLAYING]
AUDREY: And here I thought you were avoiding us.
No. I picked up, didn't I?
But I should go. I'm uh... being rude to my dates.
AUDREY: Well, do you wanna hang out tomorrow?
MAX: No, I can't.
I'm helping Pops plant Anna Wintour's annuals.
- Tomorrow night? - MAX: Not available.
I've got this Hanukkah dinner to go to.
We do it every year at dad's attorney Cyrus's house.
- Wait. Cyrus? As in Cyrus Rose? - MAX: Yeah.
AUDREY: Who's married to Eleanor Waldorf?
As in head of the CFDA, Eleanor Waldorf?
Yeah, well, since you seem to be familiar--
The CFDA gives grants to designers in need
or starting new lines.
And my mom is both of those things.
You have to take her to that dinner.
What? No. No, it's-- No.
It's not an open house, Hope. Okay?
It's an invite-only holiday dinner.
Okay? And plus everyone there is gonna be Jewish, so--
Well, Kiki's ad-Jew-cent.
I mean, we've done Passover with you for years.
Plus I'm sure your dad would love to see her.
They've been trying to get something on the books
for weeks now. Please, Max?
I really need your help.
Okay. Dad's technically dateless without Pops as Shabbas goy.
So, I mean, I could ask him if he could take Keeks, but...
it's just your mom, not you, right?
Yeah. Just her.
Thank you so much, Max, and, um...
Shalom. [GIGGLES]
ZOYA: You wanted to see me, headmistress?
This is about my sister, I presume?
It's about you.
You're here because you hold the Calloway Arts Scholarship,
a grant which, due to recent events...
[INHALES DEEPLY] ...has created some controversy on the board.
A meeting was held this morning where it was decided
that Constance cannot in good conscience
continue to take this money from Davis Calloway.
What does that mean?
I need that scholarship to go here.
Which brings me to good news.
Another donor has stepped up with an offer to fund
a replacement endowment.
One which you would be eligible to receive.
But I could still not get it.
Zoya, you are an exceptional young woman.
But your grades have slipped.
Your teachers mention
that there's a general lack of concentration,
and I can't help but think
that it has something to do with the company you keep.
So this is about Julien.
Look, she just--
She really needs my support right now.
When you meet the new donor tomorrow,
be honest about the stress you've been under,
and how you plan to not let that affect you moving forward.
- Thank you, Headmistress Burton. - Of course.
Good luck.
[CROWD CHEERING]
If he sees me with you, he might put two and two together.
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
If he held two and two in each hand,
- he couldn't put them together. - What are we doing here?
[SIGHS]
Oh, I see.
I don't like it, but I see.
[BUZZER RINGS]
[CHEERING]
That's my baby! Whoo!
[NOTIFICATION PINGS]
[CELL PHONES CHIME]
GOSSIP GIRL: Uh-oh, JC.
Your friends at JulienCallowayUpdates
discovered some tracks you tried to cover up.
Not a good look. As the saying goes,
those who forget the past are doomed to have it retweeted.
Let's get out of here. Let's go.
[STUDENTS BOOING]
♪ [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SCOFFS] If it isn't my very own reply girl.
See? I'm picking up the lingo.
You here to take me out, or...?
- Do I need a bodyguard or...? - I know we have our differences.
But I've been watching your work, and... I'm impressed.
The key is not to care about it.
You wanted to make them better people.
I just like the game.
Well, since it seems I've misjudged you,
I'd love to get your opinion on... anything, really.
Over drinks?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] The ACC game is on tomorrow.
I'll be at Off The Wagon.
See you there.
[EXHALES]
What are we gonna do? Your plan backfired.
But I'm still in phase one, right?
That doesn't change that?
It's been picked up everywhere from iHeartRadio
to the Hindustan Times. I'm sorry, JC.
Looks like you're on your way to stage two.
Emergency resuscitation.
Why does this keep happening?
I had nothing to do with what my dad did,
and I'm sick of Gossip Girl making it seem like I did.
I'm an innocent fucking bystander.
Maybe it's time we show her then?
How? Last time she tried, it blew back on her.
Yeah, because last time she did it,
it seemed like you were doing something in secret.
You need to do something public.
A party.
Don't you think that that is in incredibly poor taste?
Not if it's for charity.
All proceeds from any food and drink
will go to a legal defense fund
for survivors who come forward against your dad.
Not just the proceeds.
- You'll match it. - You'll match it.
Sends the message loud and clear.
You are not your father's daughter.
Let's cancel this cancellation.
[JULIEN EXHALES SHARPLY]
♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
[PHONE RINGING]
GOSSIP GIRL: Rise and shine.
The day might just be getting started for yesterday's victors,
but losers never sleep.
And it seems a certain rival team's mate
dug under the cover of darkness
to unearth a precious piece of the past.
Shall we put a clock on your next move, Menzies?
Tick-tock. Or should we say, Tik-Taki?
No, no, no. No. No, no. No.
Sometimes I know exactly what you're gonna say.
The other times?
The other times you're just a stinker.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God...
[AS HUMPHREY BOGART] What did you do that for?
I wondered whether I'd like it.
What's the decision?
I don't know yet. It's even better when you help.
♪ [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
[PHONE RINGING]
- Hello? - I need your help.
I'm kind of in the middle of something right now.
We beat Fieldstone yesterday because of me,
and now their star player Isaiah's out for blood. Mine.
Please, please tell me you haven't seen--
Your version of the bathtub scene
would have won Gaga the Oscar.
I thought I deleted that account, okay?
Just help me? Before he comes at me again?
You know, you and your girlfriend seem pretty needy
for people who made it clear
they weren't interested in this body.
So find another guard?
I don't need protection. I need pointers.
No one's ever come at me besides Gossip Girl.
And only as collateral to you!
I'm center stage now. I don't know what to do.
This guy is only coming for you 'cause you're on top now.
- Okay? So be a top, retaliate. - How?
He tried to embarrass you, but that wears off.
So you gotta find something that'll stick.
Now look, please don't call me again. Okay?
NEWS ANCHOR: Three more women have come forward
with accusations against popular music producer Davis Calloway.
- Oh, my God. - [MUTTERS]
NEWS ANCHOR: The women, as yet unnamed, are claiming that Calloway--
What was that?
Oh. Uh, just...
Aki's Bombshell reenactment?
[BOTH GIGGLE]
Um... I forgot napkins.
Would you mind grabbing them?
Thanks, Jules.
All the usual vendors, sponsors, and designers
have not-so-mysteriously vanished.
Attendee numbers are so low, we might as well have said that
Armie Hammer was running the buffet.
Guys, you have to keep trying. She really needs this to work.
We all do.
How are the RSVPs for tonight?
Um, are we gonna need to standing room
like we did for my birthday?
That's a great idea.
We were just talking about how to handle the overflow.
- Oh, hey, girls. - Hi.
Don't mind me. I'm just back from Mood.
I needed to get more velour.
Think you could turn some of that into a yarmulke?
What?
Gideon wants to invite you as his plus one
to Eleanor Waldorf's Hanukkah dinner tonight.
That's a lot of words.
Eleanor is on the board of the CFDA.
- Yeah. - I did my research.
And right now,
they're looking for designers like you to give grants to,
40-plus and pivoting.
I... am 41, and I'm not pivoting. I'm--
Designing bathrobes without your name on them
that are just gonna end up wet on the floor?
Mom, you do this because you love it, right?
- Yeah. - Do you really love this?
Okay. So you would like me to crash a party and pitch myself?
This is not Emily in Paris, Audrey.
And even if I thought it was a good idea,
it's too much pressure on such short notice.
What pressure? Go. Eat some latkes, spin a dreidel.
- [CHUCKLES] - And then, when the timing is right,
give Eleanor the best Hanukkah gift you can.
An exclusive look at the sketches to your new line.
I met her a couple years ago at Fashion Week.
I saved her from sitting on Irina Shayk's micro-mini-bag.
We both hated that trend.
Similar sensibilities already. I love it.
Look, I think that we should move
the higher-end designs to the front.
- Just, you know, easy access. - I don't know about this.
Audrey, this is stressing me out.
Hey. Are these caftans?
- Caftans. Yeah. - Caftans.
- This is beautiful. - Aw, thank you.
See, even the youth thinks you have exquisite taste.
You really think it's cool?
Yeah, absolutely.
♪ [MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, I guess I have a dinner to get ready for.
- I guess so. - [KIKI GIGGLES]
[AUDREY EXHALES SHARPLY]
I'm gonna need to wear something
no one's ever seen me in for this party tonight.
Lu? Are we committed to a designer yet?
All free.
What?
Audge, do you think your mom would let me borrow this
- for tonight? - I mean, yeah--
It would look amazing on you.
Okay, I'm gonna try it on, but without this. [SQUEALS]
Okay. Okay.
AUDREY: You're not worried by all this?
I don't think it's right for us
to let her hit unsubscribe from reality.
I mean, it's not right to pretend everything's okay when it's not.
If this is what she needs, then this is how we support her.
Okay? Don't you think she'd do the exact same thing if--
- I mean... - Shit, my interview.
- I gotta go. - Uh, okay.
JULIEN: Oh, my God. This dress is incredible.
I can't wait for everyone to see me in this tonight.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
Hi, um, sorry I'm a little late but I'm...
Who are you here to see?
I, um... I'm actually not really sure.
JEREMY O. HARRIS: Yo, Zoya.
Over here.
- ZOYA: Oh, that's me. - Mm-hmm.
- You're the new donor? - Hmm.
[CHUCKLES] Hi.
How?
Well, I read about what happened on Gossip Girl.
- You read Gossip Girl? - I read everything.
I went to private school too. Twice.
And I was always the scholarship kid.
And so I know it's fucked. [LAUGHS]
But the opportunities and experiences
I had access to there,
I mean, provided the framework for all the shit
I write about now.
I just wanted you to know that as long as you wanted it,
you had the option.
God, I can't believe
Jeremy O. Harris is my fairy godfather right now.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Please, can you consider me just, like, a fan?
I mean, I started following you that night after the opening.
You know, now that I've read your one act
and your entrance essay...
[MIMICS EXPLOSION]
And I can't imagine
what you and your sister are going through right now.
I mean, I know that once you get through
all of the pain and drama of that,
you're gonna be fine.
Yeah. I'm totally committed to it. Okay?
And I can't wait to prove that to you.
Don't worry about me. I'm all in.
Prove it to yourself.
So, now should we get something to eat?
I have a little bit of time before I go to my meeting
with Harry Styles, so...
You're meeting with-- with who?
With Harry Styles?
- [LAUGHS] - [CELL PHONE BUZZES]
Sorry, I would never ask this, but, um...
No, is it Julien?
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah. Go.
Did you mean to call me?
The venue I got us at the last minute
pulled out when we got here because someone...
mentioned the name "Calloway" upon arrival.
Okay, so where's everyone gonna go?
Everyone who? With no high-profile RSVPs,
no one average is even bothering to attend.
This might as well be an event for Vitamin Water.
So what's the next move?
There is no move. You better tell Julien it's over.
No, she needs this, okay?
And we have to get it for her. We can't just give up.
Trust me. This is an act of mercy.
A party is RIP with no VIPs.
Better tell her now than see it on her face later.
Excuse me. You can't.
No phones allowed in the bar area.
Why am I holding? I don't hold.
I got one when she was with him.
Hey, can I see?
Here, do me a favor.
Whatever you do, please don't send it into Gossip Girl.
Okay? I'm trying to keep it a surprise for my sister,
Julien Calloway.
Okay, bye.
Post that the party's gonna be at Dumbo Hall.
Tell everybody there's a celebrity guest,
-but don't tell them who. - You can't do that.
People aren't stupid.
Check Gossip Girl in five minutes,
and they won't have to be.
What happens when Julien sees it?
She won't. I've turned her notifications off this morning.
You've been watching.
On it.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
GOSSIP GIRL: Spotted.
Little Z planning something big for her big sis.
Oh, Jules.
Obie? What are you doing here?
I texted you.
Oh, Zoya has me on a no-phone policy.
Oh.
Well, I wanted to bring you some coffee.
And then I thought, you know, that you'd probably be hungry,
so I grabbed you pizza.
And then I was like, "Well, this is already a full meal,
so you need dessert," and, uh...
I appreciate how much you...
I've been such a burden on everyone.
No, no. Look, you have not, at all.
I mean, you're going through something.
You know, and your friends want to be there for you.
I'm glad you're my friend.
I didn't mean it like that.
I just meant... I'm glad that you still...
We still...
Do you want to go to the party with me tonight?
Like, as my date?
Yeah.
Yeah. I would love that.
- Great. - Yeah.
- Um, I mean, yeah, I'm glad. - Okay.
All right, well, I will, uh... I'll pick you up?
- Yeah. At Zoya's. - I know.
- To review. - Mm-hmm.
Eleanor retired from the business side of Waldorf Designs
last year, leaving it all to her daughter,
- Blair. - Blair.
Good job. Though she maintains a legacy line.
- Right. - Okay?
- Her husband's name is Cyrus. - Cyrus.
Mm-hmm.
And his son Aaron is an artist hung in the Whitney.
Feel free to mention that.
But do not mention the Menzies.
Okay? Basically, Cyrus is an entertainment lawyer
who has sued many of Roger's papers
- on clients' behalfs. - Okay.
Oh, and from what I've read,
do not bring up Monaco, like, at all. Try these.
Monaco?
I wouldn't have even thought the word "Monaco"
until you said the word "Monaco."
How am I supposed to remember this
and find time to pitch her my work?
No. I'm not going, Audrey, okay?
I never should have said yes.
This was impulsive and ill-advised.
If you were coming, it would be one thing, but--
Hold up. I have an idea.
♪ [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS] ♪
Oh, boy.
By the way, we're Jewish now.
My name is Katherine.
- You converted. - [SIGHS]
You promised you wouldn't come.
Don't you like seeing me?
- Mm-hmm. I'll be back. - Wait a second.
Where are you going? I need you.
You think I can sit through this sober?
♪ [JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES]
If you like their margs, you'll love their wings.
Best in New York.
Yeah, I, uh, I see they're ranked ten
on the "Blazing Scale."
- [EXHALES] - [SPORTS COMMENTARY PLAYING ON TV]
So, uh, you were saying?
It just doesn't do much to just report on their behavior.
You have to shape it yourself.
If I want my team to play better next time,
I'm not gonna write, "Too bad you sucked last time."
I'm gonna use GG
to start a war between them and the other team.
Get them fired up.
So you're trying to start a war with Julien?
Is this why you wanted to come out tonight?
Shop talk?
There's... no other reason?
- I know I ghosted you. - I ghosted you.
But I felt bad about it.
At the time, I was clinging on to this stupid idea
that as a hot guy, I shouldn't have to repeat.
But then COVID hit and...
I realized just how lonely I was.
And maybe I'm putting myself too out there
by saying this, but...
I thought about you a little bit.
- [CHUCKLES] - Anyways, shots?
Did you follow me here?
What? Of course not.
You're telling me this is just your normal, neighborhood--
Tati picked the place. I'm trying to help.
If it doesn't work with him, maybe it can work with her?
Kate. What an odd surprise.
Tots and Jor-Jor are here?
[LAUGHS] Whoa. Slide over. We'll double up.
♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS] ♪
- What is wrong? - Um...
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Look.
I don't know why I was worried.
Well, I know why.
But seems like we didn't have to be.
People are buying a lot of drinks.
You may need to dip into your trust fund
- to match these donations. - Very glad to.
Relax. Go have fun.
- Hi. - Hi.
So, you told people not to mention
the new allegations, right?
It's not exactly something that you can mention
- at the coat check. - Great.
They're waiting to see Jeremy O. Harris.
They're not going to destroy that opportunity.
- You'll see. - Sure.
And, um, when it's clear that he's not coming?
Hmm?
Luna.
[CHANTING PRAYER]
[CHUCKLES] And now, my favorite part, dinner.
My apologies for the lack of space
to serve yourselves.
The renovation in the city is approaching two years now.
So we're stuck here at Cyrus's late mother's
for the foreseeable future.
Hashem rest her taste level.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
- GUEST: Only at Hanukkah. - [LAUGHTER]
ELEANOR: Don't do that.
Gidi, I felt so sad to hear about your separation.
Oh, thank you, Eleanor. It's been--
Albeit for me to presume... anything,
but I have seated you next to someone very special.
- A new client of Cyrus's. - Hmm.
Micah is a documentary filmmaker.
Oh. [GASPS]
You're setting me up?
- [WHISPERING] On Hanukkah? - [CHUCKLES]
Who knew I'd turn into such a yenta this late in life?
But if I am being too much of a platke-macher...
She's taking Yiddish at the 92nd Street Y.
So, Micah loves theatre.
I've told him all about you.
His favorite show is Wicked.
Huh.
ELEANOR: You have to get back out there.
If I hadn't, I would never have met Cyrus.
[WHISPERING] Besides, we both know you could do much better. Go.
- Oh. - Pardon my reach.
I love your shoes.
Thank you. I had them made.
What's your documentary about?
Kelp.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Oh, for heaven's sake. I forgot the applesauce.
I told you, Dorota, you're a guest here.
Sorry, Ms. Eleanor.
Wait staff did so much wrong, I give notes.
They need a moment to absorb.
I keep telling her she doesn't have to do everyone's job.
- [CHUCKLING] - She passed this on to Ana too.
Well, now we can truly begin.
Mrs. Rose, thank you so much for the last-minute invite.
We almost forgot the holiday since my mom's been so busy
concentrating on her new collection.
Isn't that right, Mom?
- This casserole-- - Kugel.
- Kugel... - Mm-hmm.
- ...is delicious. - Oh, thank you.
Thank you, and you're welcome.
I always say, the more the merrier.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
We've been so lonely this last year,
with my daughter in Paris
and Cyrus at the office every night.
Been so many lawsuits this last decade.
Cyrus is representing not one
but two of the accusers on that horrible Calloway case.
Eleanor. You know you can't talk about my clients.
- And I represent three. - [CHUCKLES]
But let me tell you,
whatever fall that man has coming to him,
it's definitely not enough.
Zol es im onkumn vos ikh vintsh im.
Yes.
In Poland, women would handle directly.
Next day, man disappear. [CHUCKLES]
Or part of man.
Ana follow his daughter on social media.
Sounds like she's having bad fall too.
She's throwing the saddest party right now.
And her dress is hideous.
Full cringe.
ELEANOR: Ah, I loathe coral, even for resort.
- How could some... - Salmon only, and even then... meh.
Excuse me one second. I just...
♪ [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
- Are you here? - AUDREY: Still at dinner with my mom.
I forgot to tell you not to tell anyone...
anyone, that my mom designed your dress.
What? People love to know that kind of stuff.
Yeah, but I-- Turns out the line isn't announced yet.
So it's top secret.
Plus, I didn't tell her you were taking it, so...
Ugh. Okay. When are you getting--
Um, it looks like people are leaving.
I heard someone mention Jeremy O. Harris.
Is he here, having a party on another floor or something?
I have no idea, but I'll find out.
Why don't you go check the bar tally?
Fingers crossed we've cracked five digits.
LUNA LA: Yeah.
- ZOYA: Oh, my God. - You need to get Jeremy here.
If it gets out he didn't show, it's even worse for her.
I can't do that. I-- I don't actually know him.
What? Okay.
I'll call Kevin Abstract. They're friends.
He'll have his number.
He did a jingle for my mom's restless leg drug once.
Why don't we just tell Gossip Girl that Jeremy's here?
Who's to say he isn't? Right?
And Dumbo Hall has a no picture policy.
Yeah, but no one listens to that.
Well then, we'll-- we'll make it a scavenger hunt.
Um... see who can find him first.
And then make it seem like they missed him.
He's ten feet tall, though. Who could miss him?
Yeah, also, that might get people to stay,
but it's not gonna give us buzz.
We need live stories, press pickup.
That means people taking pictures.
There is one other group we could call,
but it won't be pretty.
No, Luna. There are lines that we can't cross.
But you know in order to keep someone trending,
you need numbers, not notables, so...
Fine. I'll invite them.
But I'm not staying to watch. It's too tragic.
I know.
Like, I know CrossFit gets a bad rap,
but you can't argue with the gains.
You know what I'm talking about, right bro?
Totally, bro.
It's funny seeing you and Scott together.
All things considered.
It was time for an olive branch.
So, where is it?
Well, I respect that you guys have taken a different approach.
For me, it was always about keeping the kids accountable.
Slander and altering public perception wasn't really--
See, that's where you got it wrong.
Gossip isn't therapy. It's dirt.
No one clicks on an anonymous account for a point of view.
They click it to verify their own.
There's a reason our numbers have doubled since you left.
You just asked questions.
We give answers.
- Uh, that's an astute observa-- - JORDAN: I think what Kate is trying to say,
and don't get me wrong, I'm a hundo with you, bro,
um, is that leaving questions open
gives our subjects space to change.
Otherwise you're boxing them in for life.
I agree.
With Scott.
His method is the only one that actually makes sense.
The only way to change someone is by shaming them,
not guiding them.
Matt Lauer is back at work.
Ellen DeGeneres lost nothing.
If you really care about Julien, you wouldn't simply tag her
like a conservationist and send her back out into the wild.
You would hold her feet to the fire
so she would never walk on anyone else again.
Cheers to that.
[CHUCKLES]
Another round on me?
- Hell yeah. - TATI: Sure, why not?
I'm, uh, gonna go help her with the drinks. Thanks.
I got Scott out tonight to try to talk some sense into him.
And now your girlfriend is ruining it.
If we were alone, I could probably get GG back.
Get her out of here?
I really don't think I'm her type.
And I'm getting the distinct impression that we didn't end up
at the same bar by accident either.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
- KATE KELLER: Oh, ew. - JORDAN GLASSBERG: Yeah.
- Gross. - Mm-hmm.
Shit. Okay, um, new plan.
I try to get him out of here instead.
Okay, but, uh, if I may, at least act like you want to?
[SIGHS]
People are still leaving.
When is whoever you called gonna get here?
- Careful what you wish for. - [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- HOSTESS: Hi. - Hey.
Who are they? And why do they look twelve?
They are.
They're Jul-Lions. AKA Julien's stans.
They flood her DMs, buy everything she endorses,
keep her top of the charts.
It's a bad look, having them here,
but it'll get her name trending again.
- Right. Okay. - You'll see. Yeah.
Hey, Jules! Um, just in time to meet some loyal fans.
Okay. Whatever.
Julien. We're here in demonstration of our support.
Thank you. It means a lot that you guys are--
Not support for you.
The accusers of your dad's that you tried to stop
- from coming forward. - What?
No. I did no such thing.
If anything, I'm trying to help them.
That's why I did all of this, even.
Not according to Gossip Girl.
She said you're using this fundraiser
to get your name trending again.
We don't stan silencers.
Ladies?
♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
And there it is.
Cancellation stage three.
Flatline.
Let it be known from this moment forward,
the Jul-Lions have officially un-stanned J.C.
STAN 2: Apparently, so has everyone else.
[SCOFFS] She couldn't even get a designer to dress her.
That's def off a rack.
It-- No. No, it is not.
This is a Kiki Hope original. Off of her top-secret new line.
Please.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Go. Now's your time. She's obviously bored with that kid.
KIKI: No. I can't just walk up and interrupt her.
Maybe the moment's passed. Maybe it'll never happen.
- Oh, donuts. - Sufganiyot.
God. See? I don't even speak the language.
I shouldn't talk at all.
[WHISPERING] Oh, my God.
You're not helping. And where were you all dinner?
I did my job. I got you in here.
Your job is not done until she's inner circle, Max.
You weren't even supposed to be here.
Why do you keep saying that?
- So, Katherine... - Yes.
- Where do you shul? - Shul?
Oh, um, well, ever since Barney's closed, I--
[ALL LAUGH]
Barney's was a temple to a lot of us.
Mrs. Rose, ask her about her amazing designs.
- Happy? - [CELL PHONE RINGS]
I told you not to call me.
AKI: I'm in a little bit of trouble.
Fuck. What?
Ooh, this looks yummy.
[GUESTS CONVERSING INDISTINCTLY]
There's not-- No, there's not a problem.
There's not-- [LAUGHS]
[GUESTS CONVERSING INDISTINCTLY]
[LAUGHS] Roy?
[SIGHS] What are you doing here?
Uh, well, Max seemed sad I wasn't coming earlier,
so I thought I'd surprise him,
but I see I'm surprising everyone else as well.
Yes, yes, and I'm so sorry,
but we simply don't have any more room.
- No, this is for Max. - AUDREY: Yeah.
Wherever he is.
DOROTA KISHLOVSKY: Nonsense. The more the merrier.
[CHUCKLES] As you say.
Yes. Yes, I do say that, don't I?
- Thank you. - Please. Leo, sit on my lap.
- I'm Micah. - That's nice.
As I was saying, there's no middle ground anymore.
Today you have two choices, playful or prestige.
But women like me, like Donna, Jil, Dian,
we offered women a range.
Because you don't wanna be one thing.
You... you want to be everything.
- KIKI: Hmm. - That is so funny.
- My mom was just saying that. - Oh?
Her new line moves from elegant comfort
to elevated classics.
No. None of those are words I would use to describe what I do.
- [ALL LAUGH] - AUDREY: Staying humble.
Did I also mention that she hates
- coral as well? - [WHISPERING] Stop.
Then why did you pick that color for Julien's dress?
Calloway?
No, I didn't design a dress for Julien Calloway. [CHUCKLES]
José Criales-Unzueta just called it
"a Kiki Hope-less un-original."
KIKI: I...
Nobody was supposed to wear that dress.
It was supposed to be thrown away.
Kiki is a wonderful designer, Eleanor.
Yes, she's dressed me... [SCOFFS]
...on numerous occasions.
Kiki Hope?
Now, that must be a married name.
My tea is cold.
Would anyone else like a refill?
[WHISPERING] No, thank you.
I'll be right back.
I'm so sorry. We can leave right now.
- I'm so sor-- - No, stop.
We're not leaving until she sees my designs. The real ones.
[KIKI SNIFFLES]
This is my cave.
[CHUCKLES] Cool, cool, cool.
- Wow. So many books. - [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
Fuck yes.
- What is it? - My plan worked.
A manufactured war between our teams.
Menzies tried to get back at Isaiah and failed.
Just in time for playoffs.
You don't mind if I... [CHUCKLES]
...do your old job in front of you?
Only if you do it better, like you have been.
You don't have to bullshit me. I know you're still mad.
I am.
But... I am also strangely enjoying being around you.
I'm strangely enjoying you too.
♪ ["WILDFIRE" BY CAUTIOUS CLAY PLAYING] ♪
♪ Your eyes are like weapons
Thought you didn't have your phone.
I have it just for tonight, just for the party.
But the notifications were off.
Did you know about the other women?
About what Gossip Girl was saying about me?
- About this party? - Look, okay.
Why don't we just get away?
Okay? Somewhere with no Wi-Fi, no people, no parents.
- Just me and you. - It won't work. [SIGHS]
Everywhere I go, people hate me.
- No, no, no, they don't. - Yes, they do. Read this.
Okay, but these people, they don't know you, Julien.
The people that know you, love you. You know I--
I love you.
Obie, please. Not now. I can't--
You can't, or...
or you don't?
This has been the day from...
the month from hell.
And I just-- I can't think about anything like--
Don't think. I just want you to tell me how you feel.
I feel like this is a really bad time for you to tell me that.
- I'm sorry. I didn't mean-- - No, it's fine.
It's fine. It's a bad time.
♪ You make it look it easy
♪ The way that you lead me
♪ Into the fire, babe...
I can't believe how fast you got me out.
What, you think this is my first Fieldstone entanglement?
Let me guess. You tried to pull a prank,
but your target saw it coming and trapped you in media res.
Well, I tried to steal his jersey
and throw it in the Central Park Grizzly Bear Enclosure
for Betty and Veronica to destroy.
Appropriate names for a revenge plot
as basic as Riverdale.
When I said to retaliate, I meant obliterate.
Well, I clearly don't deserve to be on top.
What time is it in London?
Around 3:00 a.m. Why?
One lesson from the top.
- Never surrender. - [PHONE RINGS]
ELEANOR WALDORF: These are unique, Katherine.
Is unique... good? [CHUCKLES]
Quite. Quite.
You've taken what everyone chased post-COVID,
some impossible idea putting together "work-at-home" and...
"out-for-the-night."
- Now, a lot of them are rough. - KIKI: Yes.
ELEANOR: But I can see where you're going.
Oh, thank you so much.
That means so much to me coming from you.
But I can't help you.
Oh...
Yeah. Of course. No.
I shouldn't have come here and pushed my designs on you.
No, no. Not because of that.
I know what it's like to have a meddlesome daughter
who only wants the best for you, believe me.
I've been in your shoes.
Cheating spouse,
struggling business,
emotional exhaustion, and to take on something new
when all that is fresh is a lot of pressure.
And to be, uh, perfectly blunt,
I've heard about your recent troubles.
Ah. Well.
So if you wouldn't mind a little mentorly advice...
Please.
Take the time... to heal.
The world will be waiting
when you're ready.
If you try anyway and you're not...
you may never get the chance again.
- Hmm? - Mm. Thank you.
[SIGHS]
Ms. Calloway?
Jeremy O. Harris's manager just called.
This event is being falsely promoted online
as featuring one of our founding members.
We have no choice but to shut it down.
What are you talking about?
This is my party. There's no one's promoting it.
Jeremy isn't even here?
That's why you all were here?
- That would be my cue. - ZOYA: Luna!
- Tell me this wasn't you. - We were just trying to help.
Lying on my behalf is helpful?
You said it yourself, you just needed this to go well
and it would turn everything around.
- Not if it's a lie, Zoya. - It's all we could do, Julien.
Nobody wanted to come.
I can't believe you put me in this position.
You have no idea what I risked to make this happen.
To keep you happy so that you could go on pretending
everything's okay.
- I never asked you to do-- - You never have to!
You just assume that we will. And you know what?
Instead of trying to make things right
with everybody else, people that you don't even know,
how about you start trying with those that you do?
God.
[CAMERAS CLICKING]
GIDEON: You don't have to leave.
ROY: Nobody likes a third wheel.
GIDEON: I'm not on a date, I told you.
He doesn't even know who Sondheim is.
- Eleanor just thought-- - Oh. [CHUCKLES]
I know exactly what Eleanor thought.
That's why I came.
I don't want her trying to talk you into leaving for real.
We're separated, Roy.
Yeah, but we're gonna get back together, aren't...
aren't we?
Get back together?
ROY: Well, you know what I mean, Gideon.
Come on, I-- It's like I've been saying.
I'm willing to do the work, however long as it takes.
It is not about the work.
Oh, relationships are always about the work.
When you admitted
that you were not that attracted to who I am inside,
you destroyed the safe space between us.
And you can't get that back with work.
- It's gone. - We can create a new space.
I... I miss you.
Babe, I miss us.
What you miss doesn't exist anymore.
And I miss it too.
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]
Do you, um, wanna take this into the bedroom?
If you do.
As long as you don't mind the repeat.
I'll be right there.
[PHONE BUZZING]
A tip just came in about Zoya and Julien lying
to promote her party.
Once Scott posts that, Julien will be destroyed.
I don't think he's seen it yet.
If I got in, I could craft the post the right way and help her.
I can get you in, but they'll know.
KATE: So if I post, we're both out.
And if I don't, Julien is.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] I say we burn ourselves.
If you don't mind an abrupt end to your date.
Let's do this.
Texting you the two-step password
- in three... two... one. - [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
♪ [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
- SCOTT: Kate, you coming? - Uh, just a sec!
GOSSIP GIRL: This just in.
Little Z and sis JC caught in a big lie.
But only 'cause of a bigger faux pas
on the part of moi.
Even I have bad days.
And bad intel.
Consider the tip that J was ever on Daddy DJ's side
officially cancelled.
I know you'll forgive me.
But give us both a second chance, won't you?
What's better than a takedown?
A comeback.
You wanna join me?
KATE: I'd check that first.
You're kidding. You and Jor-Jor?
We couldn't let you ruin her.
You can create conflict among your players all day,
but doing that to Julien has ramifications that you,
quite simply, will never understand.
Blaming a young girl for the things a grown man has done
is part of why abuse persists.
I thought you liked me.
I do... but...
This isn't about us. This is bigger than us.
This isn't about stopping abuse.
This is about power, and you want it back.
Well, guess what?
Me and Gossip Girl?
Gone forever.
[SIGHS]
AUDREY: I'm sorry.
I put way too much pressure on you tonight, Mom.
- I'm so sorry. - It's okay.
You did put pressure on me, but I want to thank you.
Are you okay? Did you eat too much kugel?
No, I'm serious.
You pushed me out of my comfort zone.
You know, it's been such a long time
since I felt confident in my work, and...
I think it just took someone saying that I'm not ready
to know that I actually am.
And right now, what I'm going to do is
- I'm going to let everyone know... - Oh, boy.
...that my mother is back to being a badass businesswoman.
- Without my help, of course. - Yes.
AUDREY: Aki, what's this Gossip Girl post about you?
What did I miss?
- You haven't missed anything. - AUDREY: Baby.
Baby, you've blown up.
- What? Mom. - I don't know what that means.
"Hashtag ThirstEntrapment."
- "That body is the real felony." - No, thank you.
- "I want Aki to put me in handcuffs." - Oh, gosh!
Flattering. But ultimately people's projections.
I'm just going to enjoy this moment while I'm on top.
Well, beware.
The ride down can be a little rough.
I'll see you inside?
- Yeah, I'll see you inside. - Yeah.
What is it? What's wrong?
Um... I tried to help Julien.
And I got caught.
Caught doing what?
I just got a call.
The school is pulling the scholarship.
And come January, we have to pay for full tuition, or...
[SIGHS]
Yeah. That's what I thought.
[SOBS] I'm so sorry.
Come here.
[SOBBING]
JULIEN: So basically, I'm standing there,
and she's blaming me for this disaster of a party.
I mean, can you believe the nerve of Zoya to say that?
So, just to be clear, you didn't come here to return the dress.
You came here for emotional support?
Both, I guess? I just...
I wanted to talk and see what you think.
Okay. Then yeah...
I do believe that Zoya said that because it's true.
Example number one, Julien.
I asked if I could borrow this.
And I asked you to not to say it was my mom's.
But you couldn't even do that for me.
I had to. I was being humiliated.
You mean you almost looked bad?
Meanwhile, you take for granted
everyone who bends over backwards for you.
But what else should I expect?
I mean, helping you has always been a one-way street.
Okay, you're seriously overreacting.
I am reacting.
But maybe you don't remember what that looks like.
Because ever since you became whatever it is you are now,
you've made sure the rest of us revolve around you.
Don't you think this isn't the time
to be saying all of this to me?
I'm kind of going through a lot.
Yes, and it's unfathomable.
But it does not mean that you can treat
the people who care about you like an afterthought.
I've been through hell this year, too.
Or have you forgotten?
- Audrey, you're right-- - AUDREY: But I'm okay.
Because I faced it.
What happened with Davis, it's not a hiccup.
And whether you like it or not, you're a part of it.
So you can either run away from it,
or you can deal with it.
But you cannot do both at the same time.
♪ ["LONESOME TEARS" BY BECK PLAYING] ♪
- GOSSIP GIRL: So... - [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
How'd those defensive strategies go?
Did you win the war?
Or maybe you realized
it wasn't a war worth winning in the first place.
Because sometimes, the greatest enemy is yourself.
♪ Lonesome tears...
Hey, I'm proud of you.
It's not easy stepping out of Julien's shadow.
You never told me what prank you pulled off.
You know, actually, it was all Max.
He called Isaiah's parents and told them
that he found steroids in his locker
and said it'd be best if he got pulled out of school.
- What? - I mean, it's harsh, but...
he did try to get me arrested.
I guess I have Max to thank too. I mean...
I would've never been able to get my mom into that dinner
- without him, so... - Yeah, it's funny.
I always looked at Max as the devil on our shoulder.
But... maybe we were just looking the wrong way.
JULIEN: Dad?
We need to talk.
LOLA MORGAN: He's gone.
He said you didn't want him here.
And that I shouldn't.
He broke up with me, packed his bags, and left.
But you do want him here...
right?
No.
Not at all.
GOSSIP GIRL: And that's one battle we all must fight alone.
Very alone.
And in this battle, there will be some who feel
they've already lost.
And those who are inspired
to not give up without a fight.
- Hi. - It's almost midnight.
Yeah, which is when you wake up.
We reserved rooms at four different hotels.
And you get to choose which one we hit first.
I don't think you understand.
I want nothing to do with you.
I've been your dealer, your sex toy, your therapist,
your agent, and lawyer.
But one thing that I've never been to you is your friend.
Because if I were... [CHUCKLES]
You would notice how...
how much it goddamn hurts every time you use me
to make yourselves feel and seem and look better.
But that's it. No more middle-Max.
Don't call me, don't sext me,
and definitely don't wave me over at school.
[SNIFFLES]
Goodbye, good luck, and good riddance.
'Cause I'm done.
♪ [MUSIC SWELLS]
GOSSIP GIRL: And, of course, those who just give up.
But rest assured.
You're never really alone.
Not while I'm around.
XOXO...
Gossip Girl.
♪ [MUSIC CONCLUDES]
♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]