I'm begging you, Sire, don't step into this room!
It's the Throne Room!
I'll be damned if I can't go in there!
But Attila awaits you, Sire!
- Attila! The Scourge of God! - Ah, sure, he's no Jack the Lad.
Jack the Lad?
But... They say where he goes, grass dies!
There's no grass in the Throne Room. Come on.
I'll destroy everything here! Me!
Kaamelott, Kaamelott,
only a pile of rocks will remain! Like this!
I want gold! All your gold! Or we're at war!
(whispers) Do I go get the gold, Sire?
What? All of Kaamelott's gold? Are you kidding me?
When Attila asks for gold, you give it to him!
This isn't the time to be greedy.
Hang on, do you realize how much money that is?
It doesn't matter! I don't want to be impaled on a hilltop.
Hang on… Erm…
You pretend to negociate, calmly,
Meanwhile I pretend to go pee, through there,
When I'm close to him, tac!
I'll draw my dagger and open him up from the bottom.
You'd be skinned alive before you could strike!
Let's throw the gold to him and get out of here before he burns the place down!
No, no, no! Nobody leaves!
So?
So, sorry, we can't pay.
(screams)
There's no use getting angry!
It's not that we don't want to surrender, but...
If we hand over all our gold now...
Then our only choice is to close shop.
And that's enough! We fought to get it, we keep it.
Why are you arguing about gold!
Don't you see we're close to annihilation!
I'll get you on your knees, Arthur of Britain!
On my knees or not,
I'm not giving you my gold.
- Why not? - Because it's ours!
For one, yes, and also...
We're no opposed to it, but we do have a system here!
On this site only, between the castle and the farms,
there's at least fifty hundred minions!
You guys can't understand!
You spent your life on horses,
a campfire, a rabbit, and off you go!
Us, sedentary people...
Well, it looks cool because we live in stone…
But it costs money!
We're doomed… He'll demolish Britain…
Half the gold, or everything burns!
Half the gold? That's unexpected!
Take the deal, Sire, before he changes his mind!
Wait, I'm not unwilling, but...
Half the gold is still pretty expensive!
It's not that I don't want to meet you halfway,
if you get my drift, but...
If we lose half our stocks now...
- Then we won't keep up afterwards. - Why not?
Because we have costs! Try to remember!
Or we'd have to ask Rome for support.
- But, Rome, these days… - Not as luxurious as Byzance.
Byzance does have money!
But me, I don't know those guys.
The women, then!
The women? What's with the women?
Give us the women!
Well... Erm... (sighs) Let's see.
Depends which ones.
All the women!
No. All women, no.
(screams)
The food!
The food? And what are we supposed to eat?
No. Food is a no.
The silverware!
No, same for silverware, no.
Household linen!
Household linen?
Come on! Sheets, towels, all of these go to us!
Sire, we can't give away my guests' linen!
Superb fabrics with marvelous celtic patterns! Top quality!
No, household linen, we keep.
Something typical.
Something typical?
What do you mean, "typical"?
Anything typical. Or we break everything!
Typical, typical… Erm...
No, sorry, i can't think of anything to give you...
(screams)
Yeah, alright, but...
That's typical?
Well, there's nothing more typical.
That's stag meat cooked up with honey...
Typical Breton dish.
Warm is better, but the kitchen is busy making tonight's dinner.
They don't have time.
Victory! (screams)
ATTILA: Forgive me, I'm making a mess.
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