CARMY: What are you doing there?
What?
Why are you trying to put a T-shirt on a fucking hot dog?
RICHIE: Kids love hot dogs, dumbass.
CARMY: Yeah, I know. That's why we're making them fucking hot dogs, dumbass.
RICHIE: Yeah, exactly, cousin. It's a tie-in. That shit is exposure, baby.
I don't need you exposing anything.
RICHIE: Hey...
It's a fucking hot dog in a Beef T-shirt. That shit is hilarious.
Go get me some propane.
You know what? First of all, I didn't want to be doing this bullshit.
All right. You know what? Then don't borrow money from Cicero
you can't pay back, then we don't have to cater little kids' birthday parties.
- I didn't borrow shit. - It doesn't even matter.
It's on me now. I don't want my legs broken.
- Shut the fuck up. - Legs broken?
If that motherfucker gets close to us, I'm going to fucking drop his ass.
Okay, look, just help me out.
- Let's do this right. - Second of all, you have no idea,
the amount of administrative correspondence
I'm supposed to be doing today.
- Okay? It is fucking bonkers. - Correspondence?
- Yeah - Is that right?
You like to shit on my system,
but I run a tight ship and I get back to my cohorts
and my associates in a timely fashion.
Right. Do me a favor and just name a cohort.
- Name? - Name an associate.
Just one fucking person. I dare you.
Timothy. But I'm not fucking... Give me a hand.
- That's not gonna fit, cousin. - Yes, it will.
- It's not gonna fit. - Can you just help me out?
- It's not gonna fit. - It's going to fucking fit.
You wanna do this shit?
You want some of this?
(CHORTLING)
Yeah, yeah. Bring your shit. Fucking baby. You're a fucking baby.
- You're a fucking baby. - Morning.
- Ah! Fuck. -(AIR HISSING)
Look what you did.
Fucking baby.
All right. I'm gonna get the spare from the basement.
IBRAHIM: Hey, Marcus, enjoying the counter space?
MARCUS: Yeah. I mean not having to do bread anymore is the shit.
SYDNEY: Chefs, your prep list is up.
Please check it out. Thank you.
Chef. Can you do me a favor and try this?
Yeah, sure.
Wow.
- Good wow? - Great wow.
Thank you, chef.
Hey, did you remember the mashed potatoes? Just wanted to check in.
Do you remember when I said to fuck off?
Okay. Fuck off isn't yes.
- Fuck off means I know how to do it. - All right, well, it's a new recipe.
What did I just say?
Just make sure when you do it, the heat isn't too high.
I answer to Jeff. The system.
Listen, I'm not trying to be a tight-ass.
I don't want you to think I'm, like, up in your space.
I'm just doing what I was asked to do and I get what it's like
to be a woman in the kitchen and have...
What it's like to be a woman in the kitchen?
Wow. That's amazing.
Listen, I have been in this kitchen since before you were born,
so just back the fuck off.
Excuse me.
MAN: (ON RADIO) It has not stopped a grown man
from stopping his car at the inbound...
(LAUGHING)
Yo! Oh, my God, cousin, you've got to see this shit.
Yo, this dude is trying to fuck up this little nerd,
and this fucking nerd just washes him, bro.
Yo, why the fuck you going to Kennedy?
Chill the fuck out. Cicero lives in the neighborhood.
No. Fucking Cicero's in Wilmette now.
You got to get on the fucking...
- That's right. My bad. - It's all good, though.
I'm in no hurry to see that motherfucker.
I swear to God, cousin, if he calls me Rick, I'm gonna fucking lose it.
Cousin, listen, do me a favor, okay? I'm trying to get us out of this hole.
All right? I want today to go smooth. Please don't bring that shit up.
Chill. I'm not going to bring up shit. All right?
- You got it all wrong! - It's literally the easiest fucking job.
I'm the only one that stands up to you and doesn't listen to your bullshit.
- It wasn't my phone. - Call an electrician or a plumber!
I've been saying this for years.
- It wasn't my fucking phone. -"Cicero, I'm your guy.
"I got a kid now, Cicero. I need a fucking real job."
-"Can I have tickets to Lion King?" - You don't think I can pick up a phone!
And we don't even know how she fell down those stairs.
You want us to get this stuff out back, or how do you...
Yeah.
- Take it around the side, will you? - The side? Sure.
Yeah. Thanks, Rick.
I fucking hate when you call me Rick.
I fucking hate when you don't answer your phone.
Food's here, kiddies.
That was nice. Thank you for that. That was good.
(KIDS CHATTERING)
Carmen, is that you?
Hey. Mr. Zurski. How are you?
I thought you had killed yourself.
No, sir, that was my brother.
RICHIE: Bullshit.
That motherfucker is complete fucking bullshit.
Hey, perfect timing.
- Who does he think he is? - I did everything.
You know he's not even Italian, right? 100% Polish.
- Fucking insulting. - You're not even Italian, right?
I'm more Italian than that guy is.
Turn on the grill. I gotta get the dogs going.
Just give me a second here.
- Richie, what the fuck is that? - Relax, shit's regulated.
I suffer from anxiety and dread.
- CARMY: Who doesn't. - You want half?
No.
- Which box did you put the ketchup in? - Hmm?
- The ketchup. Which box? - I didn't bring ketchup.
Why didn't you bring ketchup?
What kind of asshole is going to put ketchup on a hot dog?
- A child, Richie. - A child asshole.
You're a child, asshole.
Yo, yo, cousin, what's up with all this gay-ass fruit?
- Homemade Ecto Cooler, motherfucker. - Oh... Shit!
It's actually pretty fucking dope.
Rest in peace, Harold.
One bite of a doughnut brings you much joy.
Two bites just brings sadness.
(CHUCKLES)
I mean, nobody doesn't love that first bite of a doughnut.
It used to be my favorite when I was a kid.
- Sweet tooth? - Yeah, but not even the taste.
I just loved looking at them. The colors and textures.
There was this one doughnut that I used to love
that I could never get out of my head.
Jelly-filled, bright purple, sweet and tangy.
Yeah. Family was always happy whenever we got doughnuts.
- Hard not to be, young man. - Yeah.
- My guys. - MARCUS: Wow. Chester. Yes.
Wow. Thank you.
- Love you. - Of course, bro.
Yes. Ebra.
- Chester. - TINA: Hi, honey.
- What up, T? What you got over there? - Mashed potatoes.
Woo-hoo!
ANGEL: Wish I had that.
Oh, uh... New edition, all the fresh colors.
I put a flag on 18-32-24.
It's this radiant orchid that's fly as fuck.
Hey, thank you so much.
- I'mma get this back to you. - Ebraheim,
- what is good with the beef? - Oh, yes, chef.
- Taking it out now. - Thank you.
- What's up? Hey. - Hey.
- Who are you? Sorry. - Sorry. Chester, this is Chef Sydney.
Sydney, this is my roommate, Chester.
Hi, Chester Roommate.
Hey, Chef Sydney.
- Cool. Why are you here? Sorry. - Oh. Getting my boy dialed.
Dropping off some inspirational materials.
- MARCUS: He's a designer. - Oh!
- What do you design? - All of it.
- I'm out. I'll see you at home, my G. - Yeah, yeah.
- Thank you. I'll return this. - Of course.
- Great to meet you, Chef Sydney. - You too.
- Good luck with the meeting. - Thanks.
I'm meetin' a brand ambassador
so I can't be smellin ' like fuckin' hot giardiniera.
All right, I'm out.
Oh. Pantone colors?
I was thinking maybe I could do a classic doughnut for the Beef?
On top of my other stuff, of course.
- Yeah. - But I think it could be hot.
Yeah. I mean, doughnuts are deceptively hard,
but, you know, require a lot of equipment too.
I don't know if this is the most stocked place in the world.
I want it to be perfect, like that plum.
- The one Carmen was telling us about. - Mmm. Michelin mode?
Yeah. I mean, I don't know.
It could be, like, limited edition or something.
If you're into it, then I'm into it.
Let me know if you need help. All right?
All right. Gladly. Thank you, chef.
- Good luck. - All right.
SYDNEY: Hey, all good?
All good, chef.
Cool. Sweeps is rockin' family. Angel, how do you feel about salad?
- ANGEL: Absolutely, chef. - Gorgeous. Thank you.
- You think I can get family today? - No, you don't work here.
Hey, chef, how's it going?
- Good, chef. - Try the new chocolate cake?
- Oh, yes. - And?
You give Marcus a lot of confidence.
Well done.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
You didn't make any of these? Or are these the ones you made?
I haven't made any yet.
I'm trying to do some research,
you know, feel out the textures, see what it's really about.
That's a nice... Do you talk about feel?
Yeah, see, this one is good. Just like...
- NEIL: That one's good? - Yeah, I think so.
That's nice.
It's how when you go to your grandma's house,
she has the cushion on top of the toilet seat.
- Yeah. - You sit on it.
- Slight deflating. - And it smells like potpourri.
But it also smells like Grandma.
- Hey, what's up, jagoff? - Hey! What's going on? Good to see you.
- New York, that's right. - CARMY: Hi.
I haven't seen that one.
Mr. New York!
How are you?
You look slimmer.
- I'm sorry about Michael. - Thank you.
No, no, no.
Ketchup?
Can you not see this? This is bullshit!
I can't hear you when you're screaming!
You see them opening all my presents?
Bullshit!
You guys are so weird!
What are you doing opening up other people's stuff?
Carol, can you please help me? It really fucking sucks in here.
FRANK: Here. Hey, I got one...
I got one question for you. So you work in a restaurant, right?
CARMY: I work in a restaurant, that's right.
What is it like to be a fucking loser, huh? (LAUGHS)
Good, Frank.
Hey, guys, Guys!
Hey. Carmen here
was the chef of the best restaurant in the world.
Okay, that's not an exaggeration.
It's literally the best restaurant in the world.
I mean, at least according to Eater.
I didn't come out to talk to you, all right?
I don't want to bicker. I just need quiet.
I don't got anything to say to you.
Except heads-up. Pete's here.
- CICERO: Oh, I'm aware. - Sugar better watch his ass.
Sugar's stuck at work.
Fucker drops off a gift and now he won't leave.
Oh, my God. Yeesh.
Yeesh is right.
Always looks like he's about to call the cops on us.
You know what I mean?
- Like a narc. - Exactly.
Like a fucking narc.
- Heya, Phil. - Hey, Jimmy.
Richard.
Hey, what's up, Phil?
That was fucking weird.
What. You fuck up one of his properties too?
Actually, no.
'Cause you know what, Jimmy? I don't fuck up properties.
You know, sometimes people think they're calling me to fix the toilet,
but in reality, they called somebody else.
All you had to do is pick up the phone.
RICHIE: I never got a fucking call.
Oh, yeah, really?
Fuck this.
All right, so here's what she said.
"Couldn't turn off the sink. There's water leaking everywhere.
-"I couldn't find anyone." - Freaking malarkey.
"I repeatedly called Rick
"at 847-555-0186."
Number sound familiar, Ricky?
Yeah, because that's Michael's number.
Nobody looks at fucking digits anymore. I'm 312, dog.
CICERO: That kid, man.
That kid.
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
- SYDNEY: Hey, chef. - TINA: What?
Could you please use a salt bed next time like I asked?
- Why are you always watching me? -'Cause it's just sort of my job.
Also maybe we don't use,
like, gross kitchen towels.
- Judgmental. - Just use a knife.
I don't think it's judgement,
I think it's just like health and safety, generally.
- Cool. So. - God damnit. Okay. I got it.
- I'm just trying to help. - Yeah, thanks. I got it.
- Thank you. - Got it.
- Thank you, chef. - Got it.
Both of these fucking ninny boys.
They called ambulances, right?
They're both in ambulances, on the way to the hospital.
And then, what did the medical professionals,
whose time you were wasting, say to you?
He goes, "What the hell did you do that for?"
What the fuck do you think
that their shit wasn't spicy, like, why would they lie about that?
(ALL LAUGHING)
What's up, dudes?
- Yeah - RICHIE: What's up, man?
PETE: You guys just laughing it up over here?
Nope.
Hey, what's in the cooler?
Made, Ecto-Cooler.
No way, like Ghostbusters?
- CARMY: Yeah. -(MIMICS PARTICLE THROWER)
PETE: Looks like it needs a refill.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm on it.
Damn, man. Fun birthday party. Huh?
Whoa! No way.
This is, like, identical, dude.
CARMY: Good. Thank you.
Busting makes me feel good
From the song.
No, I remember.
Yeah.
What's it, like, nap time or something?
Huh?
- That's weird. - Huh.
- Richie. How you been, man? - I got to...
PETE: Cool, cool, cool.
Wow, man. This is so good, dude.
- Good. Good. - Killed it.
Thanks man.
Hey, I know that, you know, sometimes things are weird or whatever with...
- Oh, we don't have to do that. - Okay, but I'm,
- you know, I'm a bit of a foodie. - Jesus Christ, Pete.
PETE: Well, all right. I know that's not cool or whatever,
you know, I did just want to say that I followed
everything you were up to out there, man and...
Just... I know how much courage that took for you, so.
And I just was pumped for you. You know?
I bet probably a lot of people don't realize,
like, how much work that must've took and dedication or whatever.
And so just... So I thought it was cool, man.
And your sister, frickin' was really pumped for you.
Really, really pumped.
Yeah, but she also, you know, really missed you a lot, too.
- Thank you. Thank you, Pete. - PETE: Yeah, man.
(YAWNS)
Feeling tired all of a sudden.
So, she's not really busy at work, huh?
Oh, no, she's pissed at you.
- Yeah, I owe her a call. - Or, you know, like, 50 calls.
I don't want to get in the middle of anything or whatever,
but, I mean, it was hard for her too, you know?
Look. I got to keep jamming here, all right?
PETE: Yeah, I know, totally. I'm going to head in,
but I'll catch you before you cruise?
- Yes. - Yeah. Cool. Cool.
This freaking guy? Hilarious.
(SIGHS)
Fuck.
Fuck. Shit.
Got a little more ketchup here.
Thanks.
Um...
What?
Don't kill me.
Oh, I can't wait for this.
We, uh... We spilled a bottle of Xanax in the cooler.
What, are they fucking dead?
No, no, no. I think they're just sleeping?
Actually, I'm kind of into it.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
Keep up the good work. You're killing it.
All right.
Fuck.
SYDNEY: Okay, chefs. Let's get ready to taste the potatoes.
Fuck.
Oh, come on. Come on, come on!
Behind!
- Whoa. - ANGEL: Come on...
Fuck. Sorry, sorry.
- Sorry. - ANGEL: It's cool.
Fuck! Come on, Tina.
Sorry.
Fuck.
Why did you do this?
Because I don't have time to fuck around.
You're welcome, chef.
Damn.
- CICERO: Coffee? - No, no, I'm good.
When is that from?
CICERO: Repeat party. Grant Park, '92.
You ever miss him?
Didn't really know him well enough to miss him.
You?
Sometimes. You know, we were so close in age,
more like... More like a friend than family.
You know, we were... Same kind of problems
around the same time. We had a lot to talk about.
That sounds nice.
It was.
When's the last time you talked to him?
Around 20 years ago. We had a gnarly fight, man.
What was it about?
Million things.
You know, drugs, alcohol, gambling,
mostly 'cause he just insisted on doing stupid fucking shit all the time.
He'd had a new career,
like, every ten minutes.
Wanted to be a broker, and then he wanted to be a defensive coordinator.
I'm dead serious.
And then some asshole invests in Ed Debevics.
And, you know, suddenly he's a restauranteur.
Sounds about right.
Yeah.
Really stuck your poor mom with that place. Man.
I mean, don't you find it impossible being in there 24 hours a day?
I'm in there for five minutes and I start thinking about bad shit.
- That's probably why I like it so much. - Yeah.
Probably why you want to fix it, too.
CARMY: Probably.
Just, you know... Just don't be too disappointed
if it doesn't necessarily happen.
All right.
You know I'm not going to sell it to you, right?
I know that.
I had a dream about him.
Once, your dad, we were up in, um,
Lake Geneva, or someplace, and we're going along.
We're driving along this car, big SUV.
He's in the passenger seat and we're driving fast, like, really fast.
And I can't get control.
You know, it's like bumpy car's flying all over the place.
He wouldn't put on a seat belt.
Suddenly this little kid, a little boy,
he walks out in the middle of the road, I jam on the brakes really hard.
Car stops like a millimeter away from him.
But your dad, he goes flying through the windshield,
but he never lands.
Well, he keeps on flying.
What happened to the kid?
He stood there waving at him.
Well, on a on a sunnier note,
you have, you have knocked two K off your tab. Congrats.
(CHUCKLES) Nice segue.
I'm a segue king.
So what do we owe you now? $298,000?
$298,050.
- What's that 50 about? - Shipping and handling.
Asshole.
Come on...
SYDNEY: Chef, can I taste the new potatoes?
TINA: One minute.
- Go ahead, get it over with. - Get what over with?
Taste it and tell me it's shitty.
- It's great. Thanks, chef. - What?
SYDNEY: It's great. Thank you, chef.
Now, let's hurry up and roll before we get rolled, yeah?
Thank you, Jeff.
Chef. (SNIFFLES)
All right. Let's get the hell out of here.
I didn't get a chance to eat anything.
- Me neither. I'm fucking starving. - Hey. Nice work today, fellas.
- Seriously. - Good to see you, Uncle Jim.
- Love you, Bear. - Love you.
- Later, Richard. - All right. Until next time, James.
Hey, you guys want to see something disgusting?
I don't understand it. It's so mysterious to me.
He's sitting there just sleeping like a baby.
I want to beat the living, fucking crap out of him.
- You know? - Exactly.
Thank you for making me part of this family.
I'll never forget these memories.
Shut the fuck up, you fucking nerd.
Sleep there.
- Are we almost back? - Yeah.
Sorry, man.
MARCUS: Yo, yo, got some family dessert.
That looks nice.
NEIL: We all get cake because we're best friends.
Thank you.
CARMY: Hey.
Chef.