Baby?
Sorry, Dad.
Can I?
I was looking at your COGS. You're right.
Check average gets killed at night.
Price is too low. Barely covers labor.
Sandwiches at night.
- Killer. - Total killer.
We need a new dinner menu.
Hundred percent.
For the new menu, I was thinking, maybe a play on "Tongue and Cheek?"
Ox tongue?
Or braised beef, maybe short rib. And risotto.
Well, maybe.
Man, this book is wild.
Yo, you just get here?
Nah. Chefs, we got any non-iodized salt?
Yeah, in the walk-in. How we doing on cakes?
- About to fire 'em up. - Please hustle on that, all right?
I got you.
Sorry, just, scissors.
For what?
One side looks like shit. Both sides look like shit in here.
Yes, Chef.
The fuck was that?
I know what this is. Fuck!
This is fucked. We need to close for lunch.
No. No, no, no, we lose one service, it will kill us.
You don't think this is putting it at risk for losing a service? No?
- No, this is fine. - Cool. Good.
Yo, Fak, yo, we need here ASAP, bro. The toilet is fucked.
Yo, what is good, you fucking replicants?
Toilet exploded.
- Yeah, what's up? - Is that funny? Is that good?
Tina, Sydney, Ebra, you guys with me in the kitchen,
we're gonna go over that new menu still, okay?
Marcus, desserts. Please, thank you, Chef.
Manny, Angel, cousin, just lock this shit down, get it dried off.
Fak's bringing a shop-vac, okay?
Fak's mouth is a shop vac.
Oh, my God, you're so funny, Richie.
All right, guys, this is some next level shit.
I'mma check out ground zero.
Okay, so, see the shallots and garlic starting to caramelize?
All right, so we're gonna add a little bit of capers and cook that.
- Many components, Carmen. - I know, just hear me out.
We gotta get a new dinner menu, we can hire more cooks
and get more help around here.
Okay, we're gonna add little bit of white wine. Let that reduce.
And then you got some hot stock, let that deglaze the bottom of the pan.
Okay, that's looking good. You can turn the heat off now
and we're going to monter
or we're going to whisk in about two tablespoons of butter.
You see it's starting to get kinda glossy.
That's that sauce that's starting to happen.
And a little bit of pepper, salt, squeeze of lemon, parsley.
And now we're gonna spoon it out. Nice and easy, take your time.
T, you wanna try this?
- Yeah, you know it, Jeff. - Here you go.
Good?
- Good? Yes, Jeff.
It smells so good in here. Fak Attack. Yo, LaTrina?
- Yo. LaTrina. - LaTrina.
Okay, okay, okay. Well, we're gonna fix it. It's okay.
And this one time when I was a kid, I thought I saw a dragon.
Just pay attention. Don't strip the thread.
I'm not stripping the thread.
- Stop trying to fuck me. - I'm not trying to fuck you, bro.
Dude, that's a human resources offence, dude.
Yeah? Guess what? You're looking at human resources.
- Really? - Yeah.
Carmy says he's down a couple of cooks.
Do you think that I can apply for that job application?
"Yeasts in stasis, their microbiol..." Yo, I really love science.
Yo, is this warm enough?
- Think so. - Yo, check this shit.
- What's up? - Take a whiff.
Oh, my God. Yo, should we do a bakery?
Yeah. Just finish the instructions.
"There are two ways to go about lacto-fermentation." Facts.
Yo, we need to go to Copenhagen and fuck that place up.
- What are the two ways? - Okay.
"You can ferment the raw product in either
"a vacuum sealed plastic bag or..."
- Yo, Carmy. - Yo.
Can I borrow a sous vide bag, Chef?
- The fuck you doin'? - Fermenting.
- You know how to seal it? - No, Chef.
We can learn.
Okay, above the locker.
- Thanks, Chef Carmy. - Welcome, Chester.
My guy.
Yo, what time you home tonight? Should I save Bachelorette?
I'mma be late. Just watch it without me. But, hey, don't ruin that shit again.
I didn't ruin shit. You asked me what happened.
Yeah, and you told me every detail of the whole episode.
Then don't ask me what happened.
Marcus, we good on cakes, Chef? Please don't get lost in that shit.
- We good, Chef. - I trust you.
Marcus is Minnie Minoso of Illinois Fermentation.
Who's Minnie Minoso?
- Mr. White Sox. - Mr. White Sox.
I guess he was good.
First Black player for the White Sox.
Stole 167 bases, 195 home runs, and 1100 RBIs
and a career batting average of 300, so, not bad.
- Two hours to service, Chefs. - Yes, Chef.
- Hey, how we looking up front? - Shitty but better, Chef.
I'll take that.
Jeff, look at the coloring on this.
You wanna take that a bit darker.
You see that brown spot? We wanna see that everywhere on the bottom.
That way when the stock hits, you're gonna scrape up all that,
that's gonna give that flavor, the onion.
When did Mikey make that for you?
- Christmas. - At my mom's?
- Mmm-hmm. - Still full psycho?
She wasn't calm, but the food was great.
All right, looks good. Two more minutes, add that stock. Okay, Chef?
- All right, got it, Jeff. - Thank you.
- I graduated high school. - Good start.
- Be serious, man. - I'm being serious.
What might you bring to The Beef as a new employee?
- I got hearth. - What's hearth?
Heart... I'm nervous, man. I got heart.
Ah. You're gonna need brain.
Now, do you have any special skills or abilities,
asides from being a fuckin' stroke?
Well, A, I'm not a fuckin' stroke, and B, I'm really good on the keyboard.
No, A, you are, and B, no, you're not.
Well, A, yes, I am and B, I joined a jazz fusion class. So, in your face.
A, I've heard you fuckin' play and you're fuckin' terrible,
and C, it's a fuckin' restaurant.
Why do I give a fuck that you play the keyboard?
I'm a hard worker. I'm a nice guy, I got a great vibe...
- Fuck your vibe. - Don't ever fuck my vibe.
I swear to God, I will fuck anything I wanna fuck.
You are not being nice, and you will not fuck me. Mmm-mmm.
Prick! Jesus fucking Christ.
Stop shouting! Fuck!
Get...
Should I break it up?
What's the point?
Yo, yo, should I break this up?
- Yes! Yes! - No. Say "Matae."
No way! Never!
That's cool.
- I'm winning. You're such a bitch. - Fuck!
- Say "Matae." - You're so mean. My nipple!
- Yo, should I break this up? - Yeah!
- No! - Yes!
Hey! What the fuck, Carmy?
Hey, guys, can you shut the fuck up, please?
He's mean. He is fucking not nice. He is a fucking asshole.
I wasn't even gonna say this.
He is selling fucking coke in the back alley of The Beef.
Wait, wait, wait, what? Stop! What? Fak!
He is selling coke around the fucking alleyway, man. I didn't wanna say it.
Are you happy now that you told Mom, you fucking stroke?
Mommy knows now. Fuck you. You're such an asshole.
I see you. I fuckin' see you, Neil Jeff.
Okay. All right.
- Oh, shit.
Cool.
Oh, shit.
It's not that big a deal.
I shouldn't have fuckin' said anything.
Just shut the fuck up, narc.
Look, I don't deal deal like that, you know. Like,
I distribute, just little bits here and there,
when I'm holdin', you know.
Out of my restaurant.
Out of the alley behind your brother's restaurant to help it.
Wasn't my idea, by the way.
Whose idea was it?
Come on, man. Think you can guess, Cousin.
Let me ask you somethin'.
How the fuck do you think we made it through COVID, huh?
Side hustle.
And that's the kind of stick-to-it-ness,
and ingenuity and out of the box thinking
that we look for in employees.
But that ship has sailed, my friend.
I should... I should call the fucking police on you.
I should call the police on you for being a naive pussy.
No, we're done with this bullshit, okay?
We're done with your stupid friends. We're done with Nico.
Nico's got nothing to do with this. There's something else.
Richie, I swear to God! I swear to God!
All right, relax. Don't blow a fuse, all right?
Fuckin' A.
Fuck me.
- Kitchen? - Out.
Up front?
- Off! - Walk-in?
- Kitchen works! - Walk-in's toast.
The fuck!
That's every bag of ice in River North.
Fak, how we lookin'?
- Good news and bad news, Carmy. - Sure.
Yeah, condenser is fried. It's gonna cost a couple racks to fix.
But I got a connect on a condenser guy.
What's good news?
The connect.
Okay.
Actually, change of plans.
We're gonna take everything, just take it outside, all right? Take it outside.
What do you want with it? All right, let's go, let's go.
Yo, my guy. Yeah, can I ask you a favor?
Glad I was working from home today.
Dude, you're a lifesaver, Pete.
- Yeah, you're a real stud, Petey. - Thanks, Cousin.
I ain't your cousin.
- Very well. - Sorry, he's not my cousin either.
- Hey, everyone. - Hey.
Dum-dum-dum.
- Nice to see you guys. What's going on? - Nothin'.
Hey, it's all right. We asked Pete's permission here. Right, Pete?
Oh, you asked Pete.
Yeah, honey, I said it'd be cool if they were to use the...
Okay, well, if you said it would be cool...
- Nat... - Gonna let her talk to you like that?
- Go fuck yourself, Richard! - Yeah, I will.
Could we do this later? I got a lot going on.
Yeah, I also have a lot going on.
Did you know I recently had a brother die too?
Dark.
That was dark.
Yeah, of course you're a Cubs fan.
Who doesn't love the Cubs?
I bet you can't name the first baseman.
Alfonso Rivas.
Hey, Nat, straight up, that was fucking gnarly.
- You're such a soft, shitty bitch. - What?
You called Pete 'cause you're too scared to call me. That's weak, bro.
No, I called Pete 'cause every time I call you,
you talk shit and I don't want a fight.
You only call me when you're freaking out!
And since I know you're low on time, here are the bullet points.
You only appear when you need something,
you never got back to me about the thing,
you spend every minute since you've been back in that restaurant,
and now you're taking advantage of Pete?
And you know how much I hate Richie being here.
I'm fine with all that, except I do kinda like Pete now and...
- Man, you have such a fucking attitude! - I went to the thing.
You went to a meeting?
Yeah, I go three times a week.
Where?
River North.
Al Family?
Al Family, yeah.
Will you fight with me tomorrow?
Yeah.
We have one hour to service, Chefs.
- Chef, there's no light out front. - There's no more space.
Okay, that's fine. That's okay.
Angel, I want you to take every single stock pot that we have
and put it on the stove.
Ebra, just get all the beef, put it in gravy,
- cover it, warm it up for service. - Yes, Chef.
Tina, switch to potato prep.
Manny, we're gonna take all the vegetables
that don't fit in the low boy,
all the chicken, put 'em in the pots, cover 'em, stock it all, okay?
- So, you done this before? - Some kind.
Ingles?
The pilot light is out!
- Let me check that. - Okay.
Try it now.
Still nothing.
Neil!
What now?
Gas line down.
Son of a bitch.
Chef, we can't open.
Yeah, no gas. Gary, getting greasy in here.
Are they still building across the street?
Very dangerous.
Let it crash down low
See my house down there But I lost it
Long ago
Well, I let the rock roll on down To the town below
We had a house down there But I lost it...
Okay. I got it.
- Hey! - Yo.
Yo, what's goin' on?
Gas line is still down. Power's out, so outdoor lunch service.
That's good. That's rad, Chef. I'mma grab some, I'll give you a hand.
Thanks.
Yo, let me get 10 cheese for the day, six hot, four sweet. Thank you.
Don't have enough pepper, Chef?
Yes, we do. Yo, Sweeps, let me get
- a full line restock here. - Got ya.
And also, a towel for Tina.
Yes, 'cause it's flamy. Yo, Chef, it's a fire.
Chef, you all right?
Fucked up.
I was behind on cakes,
tried to speed it up, and I blew the fuse.
This job's insane.
It could go from chill to unchill in a second
but you gotta stay ahead on your work, that's just that.
Heard.
My first job was McDonald's. And you don't get to be creative.
You just work with robots, and everything's automatic,
and fast and easy.
I won't make a mistake again.
Yeah, you will. But not 'cause you're you,
just 'cause shit happens.
I started a fryer fire,
night after I won Food and Wine's Best New Chef.
Nearly burned the place down.
- For real? - For real.
This weird thing happens too, you have this minute where
you're watchin' the fire and you're thinkin',
"If I don't do anything, this place will burn down,
"and all my anxiety will go away with it."
Then you put the fire out.
So, what's up? You wanna be a baby for another minute or you tryin' to party?
- Let's party. - Let's party.
Chef, get in there, let's go, suck it up, come on.
Hey, kudos to the chef!
Fifty-five hundred dollars?
Yeah, I'm sorry, but yes, dude, yeah.
- Bro. - Bro.
You said you had a connect.
Yeah, I definitely, definitely did not. Don't have a connect.
How are we gonna get $5,500 that fast?
Fuck!
It's pretty interestin', you guys comin' to me now.
I don't know. Obviously I'mma have to think about it.
Cousin, it's one more time. It's never again.
I want it far away. I don't wanna know the details.
We need this. Fridge won't work without a condenser.
We? We? Say "Matae."
- Richie. - No. Say "Matae," Neil.
You didn't even win.
This is me winning.
Say "Matae."
Say it, Fak.
Carm.
Say "Matae," bro.
Okay. Matae. Matae. Matae.
Your wish is my command, Neil.
- Cousin, this is the last time, right? - Yeah.
- Richard.
Carmen, I understand.
Fuck!
All right.
Chef.
- Yeah? Yeah. - Yeah.
You were great today. Thank you.
Thanks. That reminded me of, like, catering,
just that energy, I don't know.
What was the deal with that? Was it just like the world or...
Jeez, it was a lot of things.
Got too big, too fast.
Wasn't exactly liquid enough for a brick and mortar
and so running it out of my garage was stupid.
My credit got destroyed. I mean, my whole shit got rocked.
And there's not a night I don't stay up
just thinking about what I could've done different.
Like, it was a first time I didn't have a complete
and utter psychopath behind me screaming,
and pushing and yelling,
and I thought I wanted that, you know?
But look where that got me. So...
Heard, Chef.
Can you help me strain the stock?
Yeah, of course. Yes, Chef.
Thanks.
This is what love is for
To be out of place
Gorgeous and alone
Face to face
With no larger problems
That need to be erased
Nothing more important than to know
Someone's listening
Now I know you'll be listening