So, you guys wanna hear the story?
Yeah, Mikes, go ahead.
Let's go.
MAN 2: It's all right. Here we go. All right.
So we're at Ceres, right,
which was the bar at the bottom of the Board of Trade Building.
It was just this little bar in the lobby, right?
The place opened at 6:30 in the morning,
so that when traders lost their ass when the market opened,
they could just walk over and just get hammered in this little fucking bar.
Anyway, the name "Ceres"...
It was named after the Goddess of Agriculture,
- sorry, and... - You and your fucking Ceres...
- Someone's jealous you weren't invited? - I would not have gone.
You would've gone. Carmy, grate some parmesan.
- You're jealous. - I got ya.
- Betcha did. - Anyway,
on top of the building, there was a statue of Ceres,
and her back, for all of you historians, was facing towards the east.
And that's because all the trading had just moved to the Midwest.
So, the architect John Storrs, legend has it,
he built this statue as like a big "fuck you."
Christ. Wake me up when the story starts and the fucking class is dismissed.
- Tell the story! - I'm trying' to tell the fucking story.
Anyway... Just let me have this.
Anyway, so, the point is, we're out all night, we're drunk as shit,
we're fucking high as shit,
we figured the only place that's still open of course... Ceres.
And being 6:45 in the morning, we are right to assume that
the place is gonna be a fuckin' ghost town.
- Fuck off. - Get outta here with those raisins.
- Mum always added raisins. - We are not doing raisins.
- Anyway, cousin, was it a ghost town? - It was not a ghost town.
Not only was it not a ghost town, it was a fucking rager.
It was fucking packed. It was just like... Right?
All fucking Blackhawk fans, and, cousin, who's there?
Savvy.
- Get outta here. - Yeah! Savvy!
Denis motherfucking Savard.
Number 18.
In the house. But now, he... It does not stop there.
Chelios, fuckin' Belfour. Let's go! Right?
The night before, Savvy had gotten inducted into
the Hockey Hall of Fame.
We walk into this giant fucking party. It's going off!
Brouhaha.
And this motherfucker, he somehow... This curious fellow,
he somehow gets his hands on, what was it?
It was a Ceres pamphlet?
Yep. Behind the bar.
- Right... - Behind the bar.
He's reading aloud about the history of the Goddess of Agriculture.
Somehow, he decides that he too has
this deep connection to, uh, to agriculture, right?
He takes out his phone, starts leaving this outgoing message.
What was the message?
"Hi. You have reached the voicemail of Richie Jermovic,
"the Goddess of Agriculture."
- Fucking stupid! - So dumb!
Shit is genius!
Goddess over here, he is trying to leave this message,
but he keeps fucking up. It's just getting louder and louder.
With all the cacophony and all the nonsense,
all the fuckin' hullabaloo, we hear this fuckin voice ring out.
And the voice says, "What are you doing?"
Right? And right in front of us, this guy, he turns around, who was he?
- Bill Murray. Bill Murray. - Of course, it's Bill Murray.
- What? What? - Bill fucking Murray!
He's right there. Bill fucking Murray actually says to Richie,
he goes, "Why are you doing that?" And Richie says, "Because it's funny."
He fucking says that to Bill Murray, "because it's funny,"
- and Bill Murray says, "No." -"It's not."
"That is not funny." He goes, "Give me your phone."
Yeah. Yep.
And then he goes,
"What's your name?" Right?
Bill Murray says this to me.
The king. Fucking Bill Murray.
Yeah, I understand who that is.
If you call me, you can hear it.
- I get it. - Call me.
- I still got it. - I believe you.
- It's still on my phone. - I'm good.
- Really? - Thank you.
You don't wanna hear it?
You guys were at a bar at 6:45 in the morning?
Yeah, but the whole point of it is...
- Okay, that's a good picture. - Checks.
That's better.
She has nice eyes.
She does have nice eyes. No sense of humor.
Even worse, Tina, I'll tell you, even actually much worse,
- it's like she got no... - Behind.
No sense of Chicago history. You know what I'm saying?
Whatever. Other fish in the sea. See you in another galaxy, puta.
Yo, listen up! Okay, I just yell like that?
Yeah, make it worth it.
Take this green tape off before it gets to us. It takes five seconds.
Once it's soapy and our fingers are pruned,
we can't fuck with this shit. Cool?
- Yes, Chef. - Thank you for your time.
Two hours to open, chefs.
Here, Chef, I hear this new dish is dialed.
- Would you remind me later? - That elevated comfort.
Later is better.
Braised ribs. We do the risotto with stock.
Watch those peppers.
It's easily adaptable, we can make it for a great to-go.
Risotto-to-go? We're not ready for go at all.
I'm just saying you could use a dine-in, dine-out,
plus we're using ingredients that are lying around.
It's pretty smart, let's just try it. I don't get it.
- Have a taste, everything's here. - Chef, listen to me.
One, I'm thinking about it, so, hold on, please. Okay?
Two, I know everybody you used to work for, I called them before hiring you.
Why'd you do that?
Your resume's excellent and this place is not.
Everybody said you are incredibly smart and talented.
They also said, you are incredibly impatient, incredibly green.
Okay, so, that's why my business couldn't cut it?
- Why I'm here, why you don't... - That's not what I'm saying.
- What are you saying? - I'm saying give me a minute.
Yes, Chef.
Can we make this work without ruining the flow?
Yes, Chef.
Manny and Angel are gonna have a shit-fit...
- I spoke with them already, Chef. - Okay.
Now, so you know where I'm coming from,
we have finally gotten this to a place where things are
sort of kind of a little bit chill, all right?
I would like to hold on to that as long as I possibly can
- God damn it, Carmy.
- Hey, did you get it? - What exactly is it I'm looking for?
Oh! Wow.
- You are special. - Yup.
There is something called the Internal Revenue Service, and they
- collect taxes from human beings. - I know this.
And the people in this place,
they haven't given that government organization anything in five years.
And somehow, I'm a co-owner in this nightmare.
And my home will be seized if I don't give them some money.
Okay, so I've spent the last few days on top of my other job and my life,
getting all of your documents in order, so, I can reach an agreement with them
to pay a smaller amount.
I'm gonna need you to go in there and to get the payroll records from 2018.
Can you do that?
- I can do that. - Thank you.
Who's this seizing your house, Sug?
The IRS, Rich.
Tax shit. Yikes.
You're yikes.
- Okay, go, Carmy. - I know exactly where it is.
Thank you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Wait a minute, it's a "fuck you."
Why would he organize it like this?
- I'll ask him when he's not dead. - Just...
Ass.
- Should I be wearing a gas mask? - Nah, man. You good.
Who's that?
Oh. That's Richard Hart. Hart Bageri in Copenhagen. He's a bad motherfucker.
Cool. You good, man?
Yep. You?
Yeah, yeah. You know, if you
need anything, like, whatever, you know...
Like what?
I don't know, like... Oh, fuck it.
Look, when I tried out for the Cubs, I was playing on the farm team,
and they wouldn't put me up. And I was broke.
And I got pretty good at figuring out places to stay.
Bro, I'm not homeless.
Then what's up with the nest?
I just started sleeping here so I can save time on my commute.
I'm just so close to nailing these donuts and they got be perfect.
Okay, good. So, you're a psychopath? Cool.
I just want them to be perfect.
You want perfection, bro? Start with a shower.
It's not that bad. You used to play for the fucking Cubs?
You good?
Yo.
You okay?
Yeah.
Feels weird out there.
Bar closed.
You go there a lot?
Nah. Owner and I don't really see eye-to-eye.
But nice to know it was there, you know?
It was like a fixture.
Yeah, like Logan.
Wicker. Pilsen.
Yeah.
They all suck now.
They're different.
Yeah, they are different.
That's why I keep telling you to stop fucking with this place.
You know, you let up a little bit, everything changes.
You know, you don't realize, this is a delicate ecosystem,
and it's held together by a shared history,
and love, and respect.
There's this statue on top of the Board of Trade.
Goddess, right? She has no face. People are like, "Where is her face?"
And architect John Storrs, right, John Storrs goes,
"When we put it up there, it was the tallest building in the city
"and no one was really gonna see her face, so we didn't bother to put one."
But now, every goddamn building is taller than the next one,
and they all look out at this chick with no face, and it's just...
- Yo, what the fuck? Who's shooting man? - Keep it down. What the fuck.
- Are you fucking kidding me? - Everybody okay?
- You good? - Yeah.
- Sweeps. - Motherfuck!
Everybody okay, yeah?
- Small arms. A pistol. - Everybody straight?
The fuck is going on around here?
Yo, Richie. Don't go out there. What you doing, bro?
- Hey, yo. Crooked John. - Hey, man.
What's up?
You guys see who shot up my window?
I didn't see it, man. Scared the shit outta me, though.
Sounded like a little marble.
Yeah, right?
Probably some dumb ass kid fucking with his mom's .22.
Listen, man, you know you guys aren't supposed to be hanging out here.
I asked you to hang out down there.
Man, don't call the cops.
John. Don't hurt my feelings. How long have you known me?
I do not give a fuck what you do, or who you do it with.
All I ask is you do it over there, and keep it at a reasonable volume.
- But we can't chill over there, man. - Why?
It's dangerous.
Dangerous? All you motherfuckers have weapons on you.
It's a different dangerous. Construction dangerous.
The vent went cold. The whole shit's gutted. Building a Sweetgreen.
Are you fucking kidding me right now? You know the bar's closed, too.
It's getting ugly.
All right, I'll tell you what. Do me a favor, okay?
Ask around, see if you can sniff out who shot up my shit. Check Al's.
All right.
In exchange, you guys can hang out here.
But low pro, all right?
I don't want any noise, any fucking gangster shit popping off,
anything that's gonna freak out my customers, okay?
- All right. - You dig?
- Dug. Respect. Okay? - All right. All right. Thanks, bro.
You heard him, okay?
- I love coming here. - Sugar.
- You okay? - Yeah, you?
Yeah, fuck. I don't even know anymore.
Should we call the cops?
- No. - No.
- They're sweeping glass up. - I know.
- Tuesday afternoon. - Sugar...
I'm gonna lose my house.
Don't co-sign for a drug addict. 45 minutes to open, chefs!
- Yes, Chef. - Yes, Chef.
- Keep not processing trauma, Carm. - Dude, what? I can't close.
Keep working. It's like nothing ever happened.
A window got shot out, everybody is fine. The end.
- That's what I'm saying. - Natalie.
Carmy.
- You're pissing me off. - You're pissing me off!
Carm.
Fucking go.
What?
I didn't say anything.
Did you find Sugar's... I don't know...
- garbage? - No, no. I didn't find it.
Yeah. Paperwork's not really my jam.
Me, neither.
They didn't teach you accounting at Noma?
- They teach you at DeVry? - Yeah.
What is that? Oven?
No.
No, it was Michael's 15th birthday party.
Jan-Carlo and Fak got into a fight,
I tried to break it up and fell into the barbeque.
God. Feck.
Is there a name for that thing where,
you're afraid of something good happening
'cause you think something bad's gonna happen?
I don't know. Life?
The other day, my kid asked me if my real last name was "Bad News."
Like Bad News Bears?
I guess, I'm in her mom's phone as "Richie Bad News."
And I go, "Tiff, what the fuck?"
She says I'm contagious, I only call with bad news.
Maybe that's not what you're talking about.
Fuck. I don't know. Fuck it all.
All right, put me out of my misery. Flip it, T.
Hey, look alive, chefs. We open.
Rock out, let's go.
All right. Step lively. Let's go. Single file.
Oh, shit! It's the man with the golden dick.
How are you, Tom? Good to see you, bro.
Let me get one beef, little hot, little sweet, dip it.
Thanks, pal.
Nick, how's that dog of yours, by the way? Getting better?
Got the cone and everything off? How are you?
Damn, Chef.
Mmm.
Brava.
Thanks, Chef.
Ebra and Richie are out front.
Tina, you're floating. We good back here?
Yes, Chef.
We gotta watch the heat on the stove, guys.
These chickens are comin' out dark.
When's the last time you cleaned out the grease trap?
- It's getting backed up. - I'll get to it.
- Still dealing with the circuit breaker. - Thank you.
Chef, you think now might be a good time for you to try this?
- Yes. Thank you for asking. - Yes.
- This one? - Yes.
It's tremendous, Chef.
Thank you, Chef.
Sauce is a little bit tight.
Yeah, heard. Thank you.
Mmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
- Do you think maybe soon... Thank you. - This is fire!
Maybe we could start rolling it out as a special soon? Is there a place?
- It's getting closer. Yeah. - How close?
- I told you it was great. - You said "tremendous," remember?
I didn't tell you it was perfect.
Well, yeah, I mean, I like it.
I think it's great and I'll definitely loosen up the sauce...
- Sydney. Sydney. - You know, I don't understand...
Chef, it's not ready yet. You understand?
Yes, Chef. I understand.
- Thank you, Chef. - Thank you, Chef.
Hi, these are Cola-braised short ribs with risotto. And they're yours.
- Really? - Yup.
I had an extra and I'm Sydney, if you need anything else.
- Well, thank you, Sydney. - Have a good day.
- Hey, maybe it's not here. - No, it's here.
All right.
I knew it was dumb to co-sign. FYI.
I'd have done the same thing.
- You wanna fight? - Please.
- I know you're mad at me. - This is irresponsible.
I mean, at your house. All the stuff you said.
I was annoyed.
Yeah. Clearly.
Look, I think the thing that just pisses me off,
is the thing that I'm probably too embarrassed to admit,
is that you never ask me how I'm doing. Like, ever.
I know it's childish, but that's why I'm mad at you.
I think.
Plus, we never spend any real time together.
This place is eating you alive.
You always blame this place.
- What do you mean? - I mean, you blame the restaurant.
All right, you don't blame Mom. You don't blame Mikey.
How can I not blame this place?
I just cleaned up shot-out glass, and now, I'm covered in carbon.
All of our time, money, work, gets sucked up into this place.
The only thing we get back is, chaos, resentment.
It's bullshit.
Sounds like Mom.
- I'm serious. - I'm serious.
I just want things to be calm.
I just want things to be on solid ground. I want things to feel...
- Consistent. - Yeah. Consistent.
Yeah. That's totally reasonable.
Well... I appreciate you saying that.
Um...
I guess, all the time, I feel like I'm kind of trapped,
because I can't describe
how I'm feeling.
So, to ask somebody else how they're feeling, that just seems,
I don't know, insane?
Okay.
I'm sorry. You know,
you're right. I wanna know how you're feeling.
How're you feeling?
Really good. Just great.
Right.
Yo. Yo, is this it?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, right?
Just sittin' in this file labeled...
-"Shit." -"Shit."
Okay, checks. Little boys look great, guys.
Holy shit! What's he doing?
Yo, what's going on with these edges, Chef? Gotta be cleaner than that.
This knife is shit.
When was the last time you sharpened it?
Fuck! Where's my gun? Any of you motherfuckers take my gun?
Carmy!
What? You know I stay here. Fuck me? Fuck you.
Sydney, get 'em.
Hello, everyone. Thank you for your patronage.
Everything's under control. Please enjoy your beefs.
Focus on that. Chicago. Am I right?
Hey, guys! Hey! Guys!
Guys, shut up! Please.
Thank you. What's going on here?
This isn't his space.
You're the one getting nasty!
'Cause you're crew's blowing cigarette smoke!
Hey! Hey! Can we lower our voices, please?
Thank you. I'm Sydney. Let's start there. I'm Sydney.
John.
Mr. Carl.
Okay. Mr. Carl and John. Hello,
associates. Good afternoon. Uh...
- Fuck! Fuck! - We didn't take your gun, bro.
Shit!
You apparently know Tina, and Gary as well. Great.
So, now we all are in various states of knowing each other.
Cool. Okay, so, so how do we fix this?
It can't be fixed because this guy is a bitch.
You fucking said that for the last time!
- Come on! - Yeah you better fuckin' hold me back.
All right, so, we can do this every week, yeah?
Sandwiches, simple conversation, no yelling,
no smoking where all the food is, you know what I mean? All right?
- Okay. - Okay.
We're gonna need pop, too. To wash down the sandwiches.
RC, Green River, whatever we're working with.
Sure. Great.
Deal only applies to the guys who's out here right now.
So, don't go telling your auntie, brother, cousin and friends,
- to come down here every Tuesday, okay? - Cool.
- All right. - Cool.
Okay, so, we good? Great.
You guys, take these, I'll get more of these.
Wild, man. Stay safe out here, G.
Hey, fancy now, my guy?
Yeah, man. Real fancy.
This is exactly what happens when you sweep the Padres,
- but fail the drug test. - Ah!
It's handled.
So, this fucking goon, he pulls up again.
And now, this is the third stoplight.
Let me get two dogs, two chickens, four all day, please.
He's fucking with me. He's revving me.
Finally, I roll down the window, and I'm like,
"Guy, take a breath. It's a fucking Honda. Let's just chill for a second."
Sorry. You're gonna love this next shit. Listen.
Yeah, I'm rocking. I'm rocking. Okay?
- I need you on the register. - One second.
- Richie! Richie, now! Yo! - Let me just fucking tell the story.
Look, will you shut the fuck up for one second?
Richard! Outside! Outside now! God.
Okay, yeah.
Damn it! Look, I'm gonna throw some shit at you.
You remember, Tin, this place used to be cool, man.
- Okay, you need to go home and cool off. - What?
You need to get outta here. You are fucking my shit up.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I feel like I'm on a different fucking planet.
My game has improved 300% in two months.
This place is organized.
And clean. And smooth and...
Yo, I loved Mikey.
You know how much I loved that kid.
But, this...
This is real and alive and...
And what?
And good. It's good.
Tin, they're kids. She doesn't understand.
She's a baby, you know? Walking around thinking that she can handle shit.
This is a delicate fucking ecosystem.
I really don't need this right now.
I cannot fucking emphasize enough how much
I don't fucking need this shit right now.
- I'mma quit. - Quit?
And where you gonna go, Richie?
Where you gonna go?
All right, let's 86 the ravioli please, Chefs.
Eighty-six the ravioli, Chef.
Let's fire. Two chicken peppers, two sausage pepper, two mortadelle.
On it, Chef.
Fire! One rib sauce with pepper. One mortadelle.
All right.
Let me get ten beef all day, six hot, four sweet. Thank you!
Let's fire, two chicken pepper, two sausage pepper, two mortadelle.
Fire. One rib sausage with pepper, and one mortadelle.
All right, can I get two chicken, three beefs all day, please.
Two chicken, three beefs all day, Chef.
Thank you, chefs.
Do I wanna know what happened out there?
No. You do not. But I just gave some people some leftovers.
Listen, I'm sorry if I was shitty earlier today.
- It's all good. - Yeah?
Can I get two more chicken peppers, please, with greens.
Four all day. Can I hear four all day?
Four all day, Chef. Thank you, chefs.
Yo there's a VIP on 21. It's Tom Skilling,
so can I get a dessert drop, please. Yo, Marcus. You hear me?
- Dessert drop. - Yes, Chef.
Say it back, please, chefs.
We got four beefs here. We need them out front, please.
I love this tempo, though. Let's keep it up.
Let's take it up another level. More urgency, please.
- Can I get hands, please. - Hands.
Chef Sydney, three chicken up.
Thank you, Chef. Can I get a hands, please?
Hands.
No matter how you work it Things go wrong
So if you're comin' with me Let me know
Maybe you're the last train
Maybe you're the last train home
I'm on the last train runnin' I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender And I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin' I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender And I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin' I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender And I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin' I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender