Thank God you found us at 93.1 FM WXRT.
I'm Lin Brehmer, your best friend in the whole world.
It's great to be alive. So, let's start today with a songwriter
who has been known to climb on the stage of the Metro
as the Christmas Unicorn.
A rare and beautiful creature, costumed in stunning colors.
And, while you've heard all roads lead to Rome,
some roads lead from Chicago.
This is Sufjan Stevens.
This is Chicago.
"This writer, as all my readers know, is devoted to Chicago,
"and for better or worse, the neighborhood starts changing.
"I'm fascinated by the intersection of the stalwart and the progressive
"and chronicling my findings.
"Can the windy city evolve without losing its true essence?
"We wonder at times if nostalgia clouds our judgement,
"and creates an angry desire for perfection
"with every turned over spot.
"Which is why we have chosen to revisit The Beef of Chicagoland,
"a River North staple.
"Long known as a family joint purveyor
"of sloppy but tasty Italian beef sandwiches,
"the word we would have used to describe the beef
"before this review was 'reliable'.
"The word I would choose now after my most recent meal
"at the well-loved, if not shabby establishment,
"is 'elevated' or 'elegant'.
"The menu is slightly updated, and..."
Twenty minutes to open! Chefs, could you set up?
- Yes, chef. Ready to go. - Thank you.
"And it's clear more changes are coming."
Stop reading that shit. We got a lot to do today.
We open in 20. It goes live in 20. Let's fucking go.
You'll like this part, Carmen.
"Even if the walls are stained, the staff moves are next level."
Where is Tina? She's still not here?
No, chef. I'm covering her prep. Can we maybe... Should we, like...
"Their sandwiches are so delicious as ever,
"but the stand-out dish that exhib... That encapsulates all,
"this was the risotto with braised beef.
"The rice was luscious,
"with surprising ribbon of brine running through the sauce.
"The chef obviously knew what she was doing."
Ebra, enough, please. Back to work. Thank you.
- So... - Ribbon of brine, huh?
Well, I gave a dish to a customer because I didn't want it to go to waste.
- I obviously didn't know who he was. - Chef, it's all good.
Okay. So, you know, it was an accident, and it's fine, right?
- Like it's not weird or anything... - Good for business.
- Exactly. - Yo, Syd, congrats.
You gotta tell your pops.
For sure. And I just wanna make sure everything is okay.
- It's not weird or whatever. - It's okay, Syd.
- It's not weird, it's good. All right? - Yeah. Thanks.
Sandwiches are totally different though. That guy is a fucking hack anyway.
- Totally. - To-go boxes are ready?
- Uh, yes. Almost. - Thank you.
Sorry! I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!
Louie got suspended. Louie, apologize to Jeff.
- Sorry, Jeff. - It's all right, Louie.
Say hello to Jeff's friend.
- Hi, Jeff's friend. - Hi, Louie.
We got a lot to do today. Please hustle, okay?
We need you to catch up. Thank you, chef.
Yes, Jeff, but Louie?
What about Louie?
He needs to know... You need to teach him how to work in the kitchen.
- Today? - Today?
Sure, Tina. Today, the day we're running the new program.
Chef Sydney, you got that, right?
- Yeah, sure. - Thank you, chef.
"But it was the coriander-tinged sear
-"on the tender meat..." - Ebra? Get to work.
Please. Thank you.
- Louie. - Now, what are you reading?
A review. Five stars.
Oh, shit!
- It's nothing. It's not. - I'm sure it's good.
Very good one.
- What's up? - I need help with him.
Go wait in Jeff's office, and think about what the...
- Seventeen minutes to open, chefs. - He is, um,
you know, getting into trouble. Doing dumb shit.
Is not interested in anything. He's so...
So you bought him here?
You taught me. You could teach him.
Teach him what, exactly?
Your skills, man. You got skills.
- Skills? - Yes.
Shabby? This guy is a hacky fuck, right?
- That's exactly what I said. - Yo.
Why is he talking about risotto? 'Cause we don't do risotto on the menu.
That's a dish that Sydney's been working on.
Well, then, how did this fucking mamaluke try it?
Sydney accidentally left it at his table.
- Accidentally? - Accidentally.
Let me ask you... What's the pickup on risotto?
That's kinda crazy. We're not gonna do that.
No, we're not gonna do that. Fifteen minutes to open, chefs!
- Sponge! - Thank you.
Shit. Sydney!
Blowing somebody down at The Telegraph?
Yeah, Richie. That's exactly what's happening.
I'm blowing somebody down at The Telegraph.
Louiecito, get over here. Oh, my man.
Whoa.
You bulking up?
- Trying, yeah. - You're looking good.
Okay, can we please go over the new system today?
You got it, boss.
Fascinating, how you accidentally
gave a dish that's not on the menu to a guy
- who happened to be a food critic... - Shut up.
It's just hard to digest.
- Sydney, boxes? Thank you so much. - Yes, chef. Gary, come on.
What's a ribbon of brine?
Okay, chefs, listen up! Uh...
I'm gonna turn on the to-gos in ten minutes.
So, we're gonna count off, all right?
Pars all day! Syd. Salads, count.
- Twenty-five all day, chef. - Twenty-five. Thank you.
- Grilled pars. Tina, chicken? - Thirty-two all day, chef.
Thirty-two. Thank you. Ebra, beef all day?
- One-hundred, chef. - One-hundred. Thank you.
Richie, go fuck yourself.
- Sixty-nine all day, chef! - And, Marcus! Cakes all day?
- Uh, uh, give me a sec. - No. Faster. How many?
I got a little behind. I'm gonna catch up.
Marcus, if you're still fucking with donuts,
I'm gonna fuck your day, you hear me?
- Yes, chef. - Thank you, chef.
No, no, no. Uh-uh. No.
Sorry, guys. This is the thunderdome right here.
Take the kindergarten somewhere else.
Not that I don't appreciate the giddy-up, you're not there.
- Okay. - Okay. Can we please talk about
- the new to-go system? - You got it.
Fellas, I gotta talk to Sydney. Excuse me, lizards.
Just take this and do this over by the deli counter?
- Yeah. - Yes, thank you.
Ten minutes to open, chefs.
Bravo! All right, boss lady. You did it.
Got your little dish in the paper. Little to-go tablet.
Everything's going according to plan?
I have a plan?
This is what you wanted.
You know, you push my people out.
-"Your people"? - Yeah? Push out the working man.
Make room for whatever fucking jabronistas
this stupid article is gonna bring in.
Sorry, are you the new face of the working man? Richie, congrats!
That is huge.
Food shit aside...
What's your angle? Level with me.
- My angle? - Yeah.
My angle is that I was hired to work here, so now I'm working here,
and I'm trying to bring business in. That's my angle.
Wrong kind of business.
You're bringing in these strokes, you're gonna box out the OGs.
Okay. The OGs?
Yeah. Bus drivers, secretaries, teachers.
- Are we just naming professions? - It's confusing.
People are gonna know or not know what's on the menu,
what's not on the menu. Is the risotto...
Okay, well, if there's confusion, let me help clarify some things. Okay?
We all work in a restaurant, right?
And we make food in the restaurant. We all try to do a good job.
I don't know about you. But people come and they buy their food with money.
And they spend their money, and we take our earnings,
and just, you know, live our lives.
That's it. It's business.
The point of this is that it is a business.
Not a some sort of a hollow shell you can project your dying fantasies,
- or whatever onto. - Don't get nasty.
I mean, you just don't need to speak to me at all, I guess.
By the way, those OGs you love waxing on and on about all come here,
split one sandwich and a free cup of water,
and then treat the rest of us like shit.
- So this is a war on poor people? - This is war on you shutting up, Richie.
And learning how to use the tablet.
- The end, dude. - What's the end?
The end is that I was telling Richie
that we are learning how to use the tablet
and it's good and good for business, and you and I agree.
Yes. Your idea, but yes.
You agree with me about the other thing, right?
- Other thing? - Other thing?
That people are gonna come to get her food.
That's some fuckin' scusa ma millennial shit right there.
- You are not Italian. - Richie, stop.
It's a little bit messy, okay? We will figure it out.
I just turned on the "To-go" tablet. Are we ready?
- No. - Five minutes to open.
This is gonna be bad.
- Chef. - Yes?
Sorry. I just don't feel like we're on the same page right now.
I feel we're not good.
- Let's get through the day. - Chef.
- What? - Fuck.
What?
Fuck. What the fuck?
Syd?
Uh... Okay, uh, I...
Uh, uh...
- I don't know. - You left the pre-order option open.
- Okay, no. I am sorry. - Yes.
What's that mean?
That means we have 78 slices of chocolate cake, 99 French fries,
54 chickens, 38 salads, 255 beef sandwiches,
due up in eight minutes. So, yes, Syd, fuck.
- Yo, I told you. - You didn't fucking tell me shit.
Shut the fuck up. Let me think for a fuckin' second.
I told you. I told you be more fucking ready.
I told you that dish wasn't ready.
What does this have to do with the dish?
Chef, stop!
Chefs, go to the walk-in. Get all the cooked beef, slice it,
put it in jus. Get it now. Get all 32 chickens.
Get them searing, roasting. Tina, sausages, burgers, hot dogs,
everything on the grill. Fire everything right fucking now.
- Yes, chef. - Yes, chef.
Contribute in any way humanly possible. Get out of my fucking way.
Ebra, make sandwiches. Don't stop making fucking sandwiches.
I'm gonna make three sections, okay?
They're gonna be wet, hot, and sweet, all right?
Make sections with green tape.
Louie, get the sandwiches, put them in the corresponding sections.
- Behind! - Behind!
- Label that shit, please, chef. - Yes, chef.
Tina, fire every single chicken we have please, okay?
Richie, do you even know how to do fries?
Yes. I know we need them now.
Okay, Marcus, where are we on cakes?
Gettin' there.
Getting there? What the fuck do you...
Marcus, what the fuck are you doing still working on this shit?
What are you trippin' for?
Come on? What the fuck am I tripping for?
- Are you here? - It doesn't make a difference.
- There's four cakes and... - Yeah, I was gonna cut them.
- They're not even cut yet? - Yeah, it's not that big of a deal.
- Chef! - I am doing them in five...
No. No. Stop. Everything, fire everything right fucking now.
Okay, I'll fire everything now.
I just was finishing talking to Marcus...
Step out.
Okay, I am gonna talk to Marcus, order...
Get the fuck off my expo, chef, now!
Get the fuck off. Thank you!
We're firing 76 beefs, 34 chickens, okay?
Twelve French fries, 12 mash fucking now.
- Yes, chef. - Thank you!
Corner.
- Five minutes to open. - Shit.
You didn't say corner. You didn't say corner.
Fuck you, Richie. Fuck you.
You don't have to curse me like a maniac.
- You didn't say corner. - You're a fucking maniac.
It's your bullshit that fucked us today, not mine. Your bullshit.
- Fuck you, Richie. Fuck you! - Sydney.
I like that pace, Louie. Yeah, baby.
Chef, you okay?
Yeah, I am fucking okay, Tina. Thank you.
You don't need to be screamin' and shit, that's not you.
You know, maybe it is. Maybe it really is.
I don't know what you're going to learn.
Or what Louie is supposed to learn in this shithole of a place.
But please just make sure he keeps up on cakes,
and that you finish your shift.
Okay. Yes, chef. I just wanted to check and see...
It's fine. Please finish your prep.
Yes, chef.
- Hey, need more boxes. - Still waiting on 55 beef,
24 chicken and pepper, 41 dogs, six Greek salads.
Somebody get me a fucking sharpie that fucking works.
Fuck!
- Fuck. Yo, chef! - Yes.
We're out of giardiniera.
That's fine, we'll make it fresh. Sydney.
- What? - Prep giardiniera please.
Cousin, out here. Get me a fucking sharpie.
- Get me a fucking sharpie. - Why?
Chef, hey, prep giardiniera.
Fuck. We fired two more cakes to-go.
- No more fucking... - Fired two more cakes to-go.
Are you fucking deaf?
You're extra fucking confusing today, man.
Sharpie!
- Fuck! - Oh, my God.
Carmy is very mad.
Christ.
Hey, what the fuck are you doing?
Hi.
What does it look like? I'm helping you.
Don't. That's my vegetables, so...
They're going to the same place.
It was the prep that was assigned to me, so they are mine.
Let go and go away.
There's something broken in you. You're bein' mean, it's ugly.
You wanna talk about fucking ugly, Richie?
- You are a loser. - You're a loser.
- No, Richie, you're the fucking loser... - Yeah, you're a loser.
You're a conceited and condescending ribbon of brine.
You can't peel vegetables. You can't do shit.
You waste space here. You are a fucking loser
and that is why you hate that I am here, right?
Because I see you for the loser that you fucking are,
and everybody knows it.
I know it, Carmen knows it, your daughter probably knows it.
Poor fucking girl. So, how about you go to the register
and do the one thing you know how to do?
Why you being such a fucking bitch right now?
I don't know, Richie. Why am I?
- You're gonna fucking stab me? - Maybe I fucking will.
Giardiniera! Shut the fuck up.
Yo, Carmy, I did it. I figured out what I was doin' wrong.
I was trying to make a cake donut, it should've been yeast.
- And I've... - Why are you fucking with me?
Why are you fucking with me? Get the fuck back to work.
Move. Everybody. Fucking idiots!
Yo, Cousin. Just fuckin'...
Shut the fuck up!
- Ah!
Fuck! Motherfuck...
- Yo, we have a customer out here. - I got stabbed.
Not right now. I got stabbed. Son of a fucking...
- Ebraheim. - Open in one minute!
- Ebraheim, I got stabbed. - Probably fucking deserved it.
Yeah. Maybe.
Yo, Louie, how we lookin'?
- Good. - Good? Sweets?
- Thirty-seven. - Keep going.
Thank you, chef.
- Ebraheim, need that fucking fast. - I am trying.
- Don't move. - Fuck.
Is it bad? Tell me about the factions again.
Stop moving.
Siad Barre caused violence, oppression, civil war.
Many factions, many groups, all fighting for power.
The central government collapsed, Somalia became a failed state.
Many civilians were killed.
Muhammad Farah Aydid would not cooperate with United Nations.
United States sent troops to take members
of his team, tried to create peace.
But it didn't create peace, did it?
No. Battle of Mogadishu started when two helicopters came and...
Hey, wait! Is this shit fuckin' Black Hawk Down?
Black Hawk Down.
- Fuckin' Piven. - Piven.
Where the fuck is Marcus?
Yo, Jeff, we gotta open.
One minute. Twenty more chickens. Fire.
We don't have any more.
Fuckin' find them. God fucking damn it, Tina.
- Do you guys have a soda? - No.
No.
Yo, we good?
Will you keep your thumb off your ass, man?
- Chef, we good? - Corner.
Chef, I can't hear you.
We are not good.
What?
- We are not good, chef. - No?
What the fuck are you talkin' about?
What's goin' on?
Um...
I quit, is what's going on.
- Quit? Right now? - Yes, chef. I fucking quit.
You quit right now?
What are you doing?
- You are an excellent chef. - What are you doing?
- You are also a piece of shit. - What are you doing?
- This isn't on me. Good luck! - What are you doing?
Shit.
Fuck!
Yo, Cousin, there's a fuckin' line. Are we open or not?