Here he is, Mr. Clean.
Want some coffee?
- Where's your dirties? - I'll get them.
[SIGHS]
- What? - I don't know, it's...
- It's hard seeing you like this. - What, working? With a real job?
Like I been telling Feech, it's been a long, strange trip.
Feech.
Anyway, it's the luck of the draw, that shit.
Could have just as easily been me that went away.
Come on, I was gonna be there that night of the hijack.
Well, it ain't like you came away totally unscathed.
No, a couple of goons jumped me and cut my head open.
I couldn't go. Still...
They could have killed you. You ended up in the ER.
Got 16 stitches. You got 15 years.
You always were a lucky fuck.
Well, that's not completely true. I got other sorrows in my life.
Like him, for example.
Thanks for lunch.
Stick with me, kid, I'll have you eating lunch like that every day.
I'm serious about this massage therapy.
Well, you should keep a square job like that for appearances.
Look at me, with the bakery.
I told my cousin I wanna stay a civilian.
Yes, the boy king.
Can I trust you if I talk to you frankly about him?
What are you doing?
I gotta make a stop.
[BLOWERS CONTINUE]
[SHOUTING] The fuck you doing?
- Excuse me? - What the fuck are you doing?
I'm trimming a lawn.
My nephew does the lawns in this neighborhood.
I been working this neighborhood for 26 years.
Are you fucking deaf?
I said, my nephew has this area. Gary La Manna.
Fuck off. I'm busy here.
[GROANS]
You want me to fuck off?
How about I fuck off all over your stupid fucking face?
You fucking mutt.
Fuck!
You don't work this neighborhood!
Jesus Christ, we're on parole. The fuck you doing?
[YELLS]
Anthony said the cable box has to be on.
It's on, I'm doing it.
Let me tell you, our glass-house couples...
...could probably decorate in 24 hours.
They have to. Each week.
Tony's whole life was horses...
- No, it's not her. - That's Judy!
No, it's not Judy.
- The fuck. - Yes, it is. Of course it is.
- Why am I on there? - Holy shit.
- What? - I've seen Judy, that's Judy!
- No, no, no... - That's not you.
- Judy has brown eyes. - What's that? My trial?
- You don't know the eyes. - I know the eyes...
Come on! I see my daughter call her Judy!
- Sweet Judy brown eyes... - That's Bobby.
The fuck is this?
Junior, it's not you. It's a TV program. A movie.
- Judy. - What?
[ROCK MUSIC IN THE DISTANCE]
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
Ton. He's here.
Tony, hey, thanks for seeing me.
All right?
So you want something? Coffee? Bialy?
No, I'm good, thanks.
What's on your mind?
Well, honestly, I'll get right to the point.
As regards your uncle, because of the promotion and all...
...I kind of thought I'd be out on the street more.
Staying off the street nowadays is a good thing, no?
It's a joke.
I know. I mean, I'm not complaining.
It's just, it's over a year and I'm still picking up prescriptions.
- Well, what do you need, money? - All I want is a chance to earn.
I mean, I'm happy to do it, it's just 40 minutes I spent at Rite Aid's yesterday...
...getting him some stool softener that was on sale.
With Jan and the kids to feed now...
How's she doing, anyways? My sister.
She sleeps a lot. It's hard.
Still with the Epstein-Barr, huh?
It's tough on her. I don't know.
Two kids, a ready-made family.
She's prone to depression, frankly.
I mean, not that I have any regrets.
No, no, of course not. She's a good kid.
Look, Bobby, marriage...
...or any partnership, for that matter, is a give and a take.
All right, look, I hear what you're saying.
But the truth is I depend on you.
Beppy, Tommy, come on.
You're the only one I can trust over there.
Believe it or not, it's important to me that he's cared for.
All right, let me figure out how to take care of you.
Maybe you could make more collections or something.
- Thanks, Ton. I appreciate it. - Yeah, all right.
All right.
And Friday, we have fish if you're Catholic, so that's nice.
Sounds like the Ritz.
You gotta see her, Aunt Mary. She's the belle of the ball over there.
Here, Ma. Rest those dogs.
Hey, what's going on? Nobody cutting the lawn?
Oh, Madonna. Mr. Vitro, the gardener?
Somebody beat him up, broke his arm.
- God forbid. - Sal Vitro? Who beat him up?
Some men in a Cadillac. He was mowing a lawn on Kimball Street.
Man said he didn't want him in the neighborhood.
Poor Sal, what a nice man he is.
He put my garbage cans out every time he cut my grass.
- What's his name, Aunt Mary? - Salvatore Vitro.
Ma, the guy that beat him up.
Man came by and said he was gonna cut the lawns.
I said, no. I want Mr. Vitro.
"E. Gary La Manna Landscaping."
Do you know him?
Eat your scones. I'll straighten it out.
[RADIO]... 95.5, WPLJ in Brooklyn.
- Sorry, we're not open. - What "not open"?
A man in your position turning away fucking business now?
I didn't know it was you, Lorraine.
Here you go. That's most of it.
Let me ask you a question, Dan.
Say I'm some big nigger standing here instead of a woman.
You still gonna tell me you got most of it?
Let's go, chop-chop, pay the woman.
Phil, hey. I was just thinking about you.
- Those Islander tickets, right? - How about this humidity?
- Hey, guys, please, whatever this is... - Shut up.
Two times you were told to kick up to fucking Johnny Sack.
And what do you do? You kick up to Little Carmine?
- Tape her. - No! No.
Little Carmine, he was my father's friend!
Philly! Joey, look. Okay, okay, okay.
You're right, I'm sorry, I'll pay you. I'll do anything you want.
I'll suck your cock, okay? All of you guys.
- You'll suck our cocks? - Yeah.
She any good?
Why am I asking you, you probably showed her how.
- Shut up. - Please, guys.
Relax. This will muffle the shot.
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
Adiós, you fucking skank.
[GASPING]
Hey, look at this, Joey. Today's her lucky day.
Only made it to the R's.
Next time, there'll be no next time.
Come on.
Take as long as you like. No rush.
I've got my Times crossword...
...and Agnes here will get you anything you need.
Thanks, Mel.
So how's it being home, Angelo? Enjoying living with your daughter?
It's like paradise. I eat like a Pharaoh and got my own room, cable TV.
- I have cable. - My grandson.
He asked me, he says, how come he never met his grandpa before?
I said, "Because Grandpa's been in Special Forces."
At first, he was afraid of me.
But I said, "Come on, we'll get ice cream, go to the park...
...it'll be..." Well, anyway...
...here we all are. Right.
I called you boys because Lorraine calls me...
...she said there's a situation in our family that's gotten out of hand...
...with John and Little Carmine.
This fucking Johnny. He wouldn't even let the maggots get on Carmine...
...before telling me to kick up direct to him.
Problem is Carmine never named a successor.
And we all assumed it'd be Johnny...
...because the son's down in Miami with the discos and the whatnot.
He's grabbing with both hands, John. This could get ugly.
There's a lot of potential for bloodshed.
Potential? They almost killed us.
Jason, men are talking here.
Now, you're close to John. You have any ideas?
Why you asking him for?
He never even had the makings of a varsity athlete.
Your point being what, Junior?
Oh, no, forget it, he's just breaking balls.
All right, one thought I had, in the interest of harmony...
...maybe there could be a power-sharing situation.
The Sopranos have two bosses.
That's not all it's cracked up to be.
- Believe you me. - Let's not get into that right now. Okay?
What I was thinking was three bosses, a "triumvir" thing, like Caesar.
- Little Carmine, Johnny and you. - I'm retired.
You were Carmine's consigliere for over 30 years.
If it wasn't for that construction beef in Yonkers, you'd be running that family.
- Things happen how they happen. - Think about it.
Doesn't have to be 9 to 5, you could still take your grandson to the park.
Things get heavy, you're just another voice to weigh in.
And John still does better financially than he ever did under Carmine.
There he is. Salvatore, my dolly.
- My aunt told me about it. - I mean, what did I ever do to this guy?
They released these fucks from the can. Obviously, he wasn't rehabilitated.
It was my livelihood.
I don't have a yard no more, Sally. I'm in a condo.
Otherwise, you know, I'd have you out there with your snippers...
...even with your bum wing.
My wife, at this point...
...she's got me thinking about going to the cops.
What are you talking about? Where you from?
- I don't know what to do. - You got friends, don't you?
You know I always steered clear of stuff.
What stuff? I go, I talk to the guy for you. Get you back your stops.
I know him.
- Yeah? - So you give me a token.
I don't know, couple percent.
Thanks, Paulie.
This one and the next one.
LA MANNA BAKERY
There he is, the king of breadsticks.
I'll give you a breadstick up your ass. Come here, you.
Hey. Come on, sit down.
- So how's the kid? Tony. - He's good, you know.
But ask me, he should have stood with Carmela.
Some men need wives. Tell you when to shit and when to scratch your ass.
Who needs them, huh?
What can I do for you, Paul?
I got a guy. I think you may have run into him.
Gardener, name of Sal Vitro. Does my aunt's grass.
He says your nephew's moving into his neighborhood.
- Franklin Parkway. - His neighborhood.
He's been working there since when I lived there.
Anyway, I'm putting in a word for the kid.
So do me a favor, huh? You and your nephew over there, lay off.
- Hey, biscotti? - No.
You know Mr. Jerry, the fruit, owns those hair salons?
He came to me the other day.
He asked me to take his action on the Knicks.
Jerry's my fucking customer. For years now.
Which is why I told him no.
This fucking gardener, Paulie. He cut the hair on your balls too?
- He's a friend of my aunt's. - Which is why he don't belong to nobody.
Oh, what do you know about who belongs to what?
- You been away 20 fucking years. - Which entitles me to earn!
Which entitles you to shit.
In my book, you get points for staying out of the can.
Good thing for me, then, that your book don't mean oogatz to me!
What's yours is yours, Paulie. But what ain't is anybody else's!
Now, do yourself a fucking favor and get the fuck out of my store!
We're picking Bobby up or he's gonna meet us at Uncle Jun's?
He took the kids to the 12:00 Mass.
I didn't know he was religious.
At this point, he'll try anything, I guess.
Bobby Jr. started wetting his bed again. Practically every night.
Bobby came by to see me the other day.
Really?
So we discuss his career. I'm his wife.
Sometimes he needs a push.
Junior's your uncle too. In case you wanna play...
...a little more of an active role... I try. Believe me.
Despite all the work I have with my own family.
You know, Tony, I cook for Bobby and the kids every night.
I did Sunday dinner at my house...
...and now I gotta prepare the starters and schlep them to Uncle Jun's.
- Barb's helping out from Brewster. - Barbara's kids are normal.
This family stuff, these Sunday dinners. They're important, Janice.
Hey, Jan.
- Julio, help me get this order? - Okay.
You know, every day, I understand more and more what Ma went through.
I mean, we bitch about her, but I tell you...
...it is less and less a mystery why she was the way she was.
She chose to be that way.
You don't choose that, Tony.
An ungrateful husband. Selfish kids.
How's all that food that Janice prepared?
Two minutes. Artie's re-sautéing the mushrooms.
Could I get you guys a glass of wine? Something to drink?
- No, I'm good. - I'll have a Pinot Grigio.
Twenty minutes, start the shells.
Just redoing the mushrooms. Two minutes, tops.
Well, relax, I just came in to say hello.
- So how you doing? - Hanging in.
Heard you were over there at the Motel 6.
My aunt took the house back.
I'm moving in with my cousin at the end of the month.
Look, you know, if you want...
...I'm staying at my mother's. The place is empty.
You can bunk with me for a while.
No. Thank you.
I was talking to my cousin, Tony B.
He said it's fucking stupid that we're on the outs.
I'm telling you, the place is just sitting there. Two extra bedrooms.
I don't know.
Why not? Artie, we're like brothers.
How long are we gonna hold a grudge?
- Thanks, Ton. Thank you, very much. - Yeah, all right.
All right.
Listen, I gotta talk to you about your linens...
...you know, the napkins and tablecloths, all that shit?
I got something going. I think I can save you, like, 70 percent.
There's been a lot of progress to the façade.
In some instances, all of the paint comes off.
Now, tell me, what product is used?
I don't get these old antique houses. They're grimy-looking.
We gonna eat today, or what?
Barbara and Tom aren't here yet with the entrées, Uncle Jun.
When were they supposed to come?
Two o'clock. I told you five minutes ago.
Here. Why don't we start on the macaroni?
Everybody, come on!
Bolognese has meat, obviously, the marinara doesn't.
And Barb will be here with the chicken parm and the veal pizzaiola.
So, Anthony, how did you guys do against Delbarton last season?
Not so good. We lost both times.
- It's that line coach. - Star-Ledger says...
...Delbarton's gonna be tougher this coming year...
...with that Chinese kid.
Your father never had the makings of a varsity athlete.
Oh, what the...
What the hell's with you?
- What? - It's not true.
I lettered in football.
- You never played college ball. - College?
Those guys from Seton Hall were 7 feet tall, some of them.
Took an academic leave, anyway.
Small hands, that was your problem.
Oh, yeah. Daddy always said that.
That's not the point.
What is it with you and this obsession with this varsity crap?
The other day, you said it.
When I was a kid, you told it to the girl cousins.
- It was very hurtful. - Tony, relax, it's not a big deal.
It's undermining.
And it's the kind of stuff I'm teaching my kids not to do.
So I don't wanna hear it again. End of subject!
Honey, pass me the ricotta, please.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
- Hello? - In here!
- Hi, guys. - Hi, sorry we're late.
- The Tappan Zee was a nightmare. - Checking trucks again.
Well, sit down and dig into this medley of pastas that Janice whipped up.
- How you doing, Uncle Jun? - I don't like tardiness.
Let me unwrap these.
- This looks great. - Thank you.
I heard on the radio...
...looks like the Jets are gonna grab that kid from Tulsa, that tight end.
We still get those season tickets, big brother?
He never had the makings of a varsity athlete.
- Son of a bitch! - What?
Did I tell you not to say that?
- Say what? - Don't like the way I talk?
- Get out of my house. - Here we go.
- Tony... - No, "Tony" shit.
Get your coat, we're leaving.
- I don't have a coat. - Then get moving, goddamn it.
Will someone please tell me what's going on?
It's my last Sunday dinner here, that's what's going on.
Uncle Jun, was that really necessary?
He's a goddamn hothouse flower. That's his problem.
Thank you for getting my TV fixed, Paulie.
Vitro
It's such a sin. He fired his Spanish helper.
Took his boy out of college. He couldn't afford it anymore.
He said it's his last time coming here.
- You speak to the man? - I'll see you later.
So, what's up?
Nothing, thought we'd be first in line for opening day.
Peanuts are on me.
Angelo Garepe came to see me.
- Lorraine Calluzzo reached out. - Fucking twat.
Didn't you fuck her once?
Yeah, a million years ago. What, is nothing a secret?
Obviously you wanna maintain stability...
...but having Phil Leotardo smack your shys around, is that smart?
I gotta nip this Little Carmine shit in the bud.
Otherwise, I could see a lot of people start fucking around.
Power vacuum, the capos bide their time...
...nobody's sure who to pay, so nobody gets paid.
All right, I hear you.
No one likes that cunt anyway.
Any problem, she's "whack this one, whack that one."
Never enough body count for Lorraine.
- Fuck her, let her taste her own medicine. - All right, whatever.
Tell you something. In large measure, I blame you...
...for this shit with Little Carmine. The fuck did I do?
You legitimized him. Man of your stature goes to Florida...
...to see that schmuck. All right, come on.
We both agree that Little Carmine's a fucking asshole.
But he's got a following...
...loyal to his old man. So?
So Angelo had an idea.
What if...? And he's just floating this to keep the peace.
What if there was a power-sharing situation?
- Power-sharing. - You're all in charge equally...
...but no major decisions can be made without a majority of two.
- What the fuck? - Hey, this way...
...you're not such a big target for the feds.
Three of the other families have this kind of arrangement.
What's this, the fucking UN now?
- All right, forget it. Forget I said it! - Fuck that!
People deserve to choose how they feel.
To experience love, joy, happiness, passion...
- Where's Junior? - Upstairs taking a nap.
The garage is open, his car is gone.
Call now...
Where is he?
I'm telling you, I don't know.
You don't think somebody put the snatch on him, do you?
When did you see him last?
An hour ago? Two?
I fell asleep.
Maybe he drove to the store?
His wallet's here, his watch.
With his bail, he's not allowed to leave the house anyway.
Junior.
[MEN TALKING]
So when they say they're not interested, you say:
"You're not interested in keeping kids off drugs?"
What, Shabazz?
Nobody want them Turkish taffies.
You push harder.
What did I tell you about profit margin?
- Where's Johnny? - We closed now.
- Let me talk to Damiano. - We rented the hall today.
- I'm looking for Johnny Soprano, damn it. - Hey! This here's a church.
You can't talk like that in here.
Get out. Go on. We're working here.
- I wanna see Johnny Soprano. - Ain't no Johnny here.
- I'm his brother, he owns this place. - Hold up, now.
Back in the day, this was Italian neighborhood...
...some fellas had this place here.
Kept those vending machines.
There ain't no vending machines here no more.
Come on, fool. Go on.
[CHILDREN LAUGH]
All right, Roberta, thanks.
I'm sorry to bother you.
Bobbi San Fillipo?
Junior hasn't kept time with her in years.
Yeah, I realize that.
You know, now that I think about it...
...Junior was acting a little peculiar when I got here today.
Said he wanted to see Johnny.
What Johnny?
- His brother? - I don't know.
Also, there, the other day, we were watching the TV...
...he thought he saw himself on the program.
[TELEVISION PLAYS]... in my home.
We have got the dishwashing liquid...
Concentrated dishwashing liquid to do your dishes.
No gloves, it's all-natural, no chemicals...
- Hello? - It's me.
- Did you drop off the dry cleaning? - Your uncle's missing.
He took his car. He didn't call you, did he?
- No. - Where the hell is he?
He's like an old woman. He's probably gossiping with one of the neighbors.
Did you check the Ramirez's next door?
I'm afraid he might have wandered. My grandfather did this.
Maybe you better call Tony.
I can't just dump this on Tony.
I gotta find him.
I need you to come here in case he comes back.
- Bobby, I just can't... - I need your help here. Jesus Christ.
Sometimes I think I love Junior more than you do.
MAN ON RECORDING: We may know that there are five essentials for victory.
One. He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.
Two. He will win who knows how...
[SAW BUZZES]
You Gary?
I'm Jimmy. Gary's up there.
Hey! Come down here!
- What? - I said, get down here!
I wanna talk to you.
- What do you want? - I'm a friend of Sal Vitro's.
- My aunt lives on this street. - So?
So I'm guessing Sal Vitro used to do this yard.
A lot of things used to be.
Maybe so.
But you're gonna make good on his busted arm.
Oh, yeah? Why am I gonna do that?
Because I said so, that's why.
- Eat shit, pal. - Why don't you take a walk, huh?
Give me your wallet, you prick.
This and the mower's a down payment.
By next Tuesday, I want Sal Vitro's whole orthopedist bill paid.
Let's call it 1200.
From now on, I get 10 percent of whatever you make in this neighborhood.
- You motherfucker! - Shut up, I give you a crack.
[MAN GROANS IN PAIN]
- Time is it? - Don't worry, we'll take the tunnel.
This meeting, we're trying to nail down a new contractor...
...now with Massarone gone. That office park by Troy Hills.
And listen, and this is very important:
If any of this shit between Little Carmine and Johnny comes up, you clam up.
You got it, Ton.
Say nothing. Because you say the wrong thing...
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
- What? - Tony, it's me.
Listen, it's your uncle. He's gone.
You mean he's dead?
No, no, no. We think he might have wandered off.
You know, I didn't wanna call you, but it's been a couple hours now.
- Fuck him. - He said he was going to see Johnny.
- Think he might have meant your dad? - What?
He's wandering, Ton.
He can wander off the Palisades for all I care, he's fucking dead to me.
I called you almost an hour ago. Where the hell have you been?
Hello? I was picking up your daughter.
Stay here. I'm going out.
Where the hell is Tommy?
I sent him home.
Oh, wonderful. He gets the day off and I get to wait by the phone.
It's because of him Junior escaped, Janice.
- Dad, can I go with you? - No.
- Can Janice go and we stay? - What did I say about being impolite?
If anyone cares, I'll be upstairs lying down.
One hour of television. Then you both finish your homework.
And you, lay off the Snapple.
What galls me is before Little Carmine went to Florida, I was close with him.
I was in his wedding party, for chrissake.
Organized his whole bachelor party.
Lesbian show, whores, fucking disgusting.
Then when they had that kid with the lung problem, who got him that doctor?
Water over the dam, huh?
I had no idea you guys were that close.
Close? We were like brothers.
It's a shame, then, you can't find a way to work things out.
Give me a piece of bread, huh?
Have you thought about this?
Maybe you let him keep Lorraine...
...and take a bigger piece of his Florida shit, the clubs.
If I wanted to worry about Florida, I would move to fucking Miami.
It wasn't long ago you used to wait in the car.
And as far as I'm concerned, you should still be there!
- John. He was just... - Fuck "He was just"!
Everybody's got a goddamned opinion?
I didn't say nothing, Ton.
What the fuck did I say?
I'm sorry, T, I just thought...
Now I gotta unfuck what you just fucked up.
Gotta do something nice for Johnny. Like what?
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
You gotta understand, this shit between Johnny and Little Carmine is bad.
The instability. But worse comes to worse, it could work to our advantage.
How?
They fight, we pick up any crumbs from the fallout.
The odds are that Johnny will end up on top, but who knows.
So keep your ears open and your mouth shut!
Apparently there's a new president at the electrician's union.
Tony sent Chrissy over there to talk to them.
Something I've been meaning to get straight.
Tony calls Christopher his nephew...
...yet sometimes you refer to them as cousins.
Yeah. Right, see, Chrissy's not Tony's nephew.
Chrissy's Carmela's cousin.
She was first cousin to Dickie Moltisanti, Chrissy's dad.
But he was always kind of like a big brother to Tony, Dickie.
So Tony calls Chrissy his nephew.
- It's an Italian thing. - Okay.
Technically, Tony and Chrissy are cousins.
Joanne Blundetto, Chrissy's mom...
...is Tony's cousin on his mother's side.
But, like, way back.
Like, from the old country or something.
Robyn?
What?
How much longer am I gonna have to keep doing this?
Major RICO against Tony Soprano?
Those things take years to build.
This recent case against Joe Massino in New York?
Seven years before indictments were handed down.
Hello, handsome.
Where you living now? Around here?
- Do you know me? - Do I know you?
Jupiter Club? On Sixth Street?
Caught fire, that place.
Lot of people died.
Do you know my brother Johnny?
You got all the looks, I'll tell you that.
What are you saying?
You and I had relations?
Son of a bitch in a taxicab run me right over my foot.
- I have a car. - Want a date?
I'll give you half and half in the backseat.
- I wanna go home. - Let me get a ride by the shelter.
I have to find my car.
How you doing?
I don't gotta tell you shit.
See some ID, sir?
Fuck you, copper, I know my rights.
Hey, take it easy, now.
My car was stolen. I want my lawyer.
What's his name?
Mel.
Okay. Mel what?
See you went out and forgot your shoes. Where do you live?
- Belleville. - You don't wanna tell me your name?
- You're not in any trouble or anything. - Corrado Soprano.
I'll tell you what, sir.
Why don't you get in the car where it's warm?
We'll try to get in touch with your lawyer, all right?
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Jesus, Uncle Jun, thank God.
This gentleman reside here, ma'am?
He's my uncle.
Where have you been? We were worried sick.
I'll need to see some identification, ma'am.
Oh, okay, I'll get my bag.
His, actually.
Bobby, get Uncle Jun's wallet, it's upstairs on his dresser.
Uncle Jun, you're freezing.
We found him on the Clay Street Bridge.
Newark?
Where's your car?
- They stole it. - Who stoled it?
You know who.
It's him.
Junior Soprano.
- Here you go, sir. - Go shit in your hat.
Uncle Jun, stop.
Thank you, officers. Thank you.
Did you tell Tommy you were going to see my father?
Of course not.
What are you doing? Sit!
- I have to use the facilities. - Bobby, go with him.
Goddamn it, I can piss by myself!
Okay. Okay.
I'll open some soup.
You go out for some exercise, people give you the goddamn third degree.
[TELEVISION PLAYS] Hi, Hildy.
Oh, hello, Louis, how's the big slot-machine king?
Oh, I ain't doing that no more, I'm retired.
Know what I mean?
Tony, it's me.
- Get going, I'm busy. - The governor didn't sign that reprieve.
And tomorrow morning, Earl Williams dies and makes a sucker out of us.
What's the matter?
It's Uncle Jun.
They found him in Newark in his slippers.
He was looking for Daddy, Ton.
He may have Alzheimer's. I don't know.
Maybe he'll forget my phone number.
Jesus Christ.
Mozzarella en carrozza, still warm.
We're in the middle of a family meeting.
I'm not even here.
To get the reprieve...
He's our uncle, Tony. There may be something seriously wrong with him.
Listen, Janice, like I told your husband...
...he's fucking dead to me. Are you that fragile?
You don't know half of it when it comes to us.
If you're concerned, take him to the doctor.
Because I've had it.
You're the only one he relates to, Tony.
We won't be able to get him in the car.
- Fuck him. You reap what you sow. - You sure did.
You think maybe there's a reason you're living all alone here, Tony...
...without your family?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You're gonna give me advice on marriage?
Tony, there's a lot I can say right now that I am not gonna say.
Fuck it! Say it. Say it, who gives a fuck?
Think I don't know what you're doing here?
Trying to pawn this shit off on me?
Your whole life, whenever there's a family problem...
...you shirk your duties or run away. Ran away?
- Tibet or fucking Berkeley. - I was 18 years old!
I was 16 when you left me with our head case of a mother...
...who you all of a sudden relate to so fucking well.
- I was merely saying I understand... - Free-spirit Janice.
Rebel without a cause.
While I sit here mired in her bullshit, trying to be a good son...
...while you're off dropping acid and blowing roadies.
- Roadies? - Oh, you don't wanna know.
That... That is not true, Tony, now, you... You tell him that that's not true.
Poor fucking Janice, she's so fucking depressed.
She can't get up off the couch...
...because she's so tired from her Epstein-Barr.
- Poor fucking Janice, va fangool. - Why don't we just calm down?
Maybe you were the smart one. You got out of here for a while.
Your hippie string ran out.
You're gonna do to this man what you do to every one of them.
Fucking piece of shit!
You stupid cunt. You think you... Oh, just like your mother, huh?
Now you can do to him what she did to Daddy.
Enough!
Cocksucker!
Cock...
I wanna get out now.
You want more responsibility?
Start with controlling your wife.
And then from nowhere, he cracks the one kid's head with the shovel...
...the other one, he knocks out of a tree. He jumped out the tree...
...and come at me with a chainsaw. I got a right to defend myself.
All right, take it easy. Relax.
Sal Vitro's been working the area since my ma was still working at Kresge's.
I should be able to help out a kid from my own neighborhood.
All right, how about this: Vitro and your nephew split the area.
East of Dyer is yours. West of Dyer goes to him.
For the broken arm... I don't know, give him 500 bucks.
I already told the guy 12, T.
Well, there's fucking compromises in life, Paulie.
Make it a grand, for the pain and suffering.
Naturally, I want my taste, retroactive. Because this is the first time...
...I been hearing about any of this.
It's a new venture. My nephew's barely on his feet.
I didn't wanna start kicking up and pull it back if it don't work out.
And of course, Vitro will do your grass too, Ton.
No charge.
Remind me to talk to you about that later.
There he is. Salvatore, my boy, how's that pitching arm?
Getting there. Paul, say hello to Mr. Gualtieri.
That's my middle name. Paul.
So I talked to that guy. Good news.
I got you 500 for your arm...
...and you keep half your area.
- Half? - It could have been nothing.
Lucky you know me.
West of Dyer's yours, east belongs to him.
Paulie, my wife's gonna sh...
All right, thank you, Paulie.
Oh, one more thing.
You're gonna have to cut a couple of lawns on the comp.
Some friends of ours.
Some shot, huh, the way it hooked?
Yeah, you got a fucking horseshoe up your ass, you.
Mr. Soprano.
Harry Winer. I was your mother's neurologist.
I did her workup from Green Grove.
Yeah, how you doing?
I assume your sister told you I'm treating your uncle.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, she mentioned it. - Catch you in there, T.
Yeah.
I think with the right meds, we can control these things.
- What things? - The infarcts. They're akin to ministrokes.
He suffered significant brain trauma the other day.
You probably noticed him acting differently over the past six months.
Oh, well, to tell you the truth...
...me and my uncle, we don't talk much anymore.
- I'm sorry to hear that. - Don't be, he's a hostile prick.
Well, unfortunately, obstinacy is consistent with his condition.
Impatience, forgetfulness, particularly with short-term memory.
Find he'll ask the same question every three minutes? What time it is?
I don't know. Maybe, yeah.
It's frustrating, I know.
The last thing I wanted to do was get in the middle of a family squabble.
- I just wanted to say hello. - Well, nice seeing you.
- Okay. - All right. Thanks.
Members of the squirrel family...
...the prairie dog makes its home mainly throughout the Western...
Tommy?
Brought you some fish.
Trying to clean out my refrigerator.
Make sure you form a seal when you shut that freezer door.
Of the two main species...
...the black-tailed prairie dog is much more widespread...
...inhabiting much of the Great Plains and the Great Basin.
So how you feeling?
Heard you had a little problem.
What problem?
All right.
But your doctor said something different.
Who, Kennedy?
Kennedy's your cancer doctor.
I knew that.
You said doctor.
The white-tailed prairie dog lives at higher elevations...
...hibernating throughout the winter.
Just take your medicine, Uncle Jun.
Make you feel better.
Help with your memory.
Believe me, there's plenty I'd like to forget.
Yeah, you and me both.
Feech was here?
Yeah, he came to pay his respects.
So, what's this I hear?
You ruled against Feech?
- He's an important man. - Why is he bitching to you about shit?
I'm still the boss of this family. Despite any arrangements.
Yellow in color, they often have dark...
These prairie dogs, they'll sleep during the day.
Oh, yeah?
Look, the doctor said you may not have known what you were saying.
What are you talking about?
The varsity shit.
So, what else did Feech have to say?
Getting a new top on his convertible.
All right, let's assume that you didn't know what you were saying...
...that you forget when you say shit over and over.
Yeah?
Why does it gotta be something mean?
Why can't you repeat something good?
There's the coyote.
I mean, don't you love me?